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Class of May 2012 pt 6

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Old 06-29-2012, 10:38 AM
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Rdy, one more thing, here is a post from GingerBeer that has gotten me through some very rough times and feelings of self doubt.

Honestly ginger beer it was the one of the most important things I read and always makes me smile when I'm down. I wish it could be a stickie so I would see it every time I log on.

"Did you ever watch the Christmas Holiday Special from the 1960's "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"? Do you remember when Rudolf runs away and gets lost and discovers the Island of Misfit Toys? Where all the toys that have a flaw stay until they finally find children who will love them?

In my life I often find myself with a collection of people who form a group...we come from here and there and all different walks of life. And in some ways we are misfits who you wouldn't necessarily match up together. And I always seem to feel the most comfortable with the misfits, with a hodgepodge, a concoction, a melange whatever the analogy, a quilt of personalities and strengths and weaknesses. I don't have to be a poser with misfits. I don't have to apologize for my flaws with the misfits. We can put all of our cards out on the table and then move on to deal with real stuff. And the most amazing things will come out of these kinds of groups!

They are real people, not cardboard cutouts. And real people aren't perfection.

No one is keeping score. For each person, each day sober is a victory. I am confident that tomorrow you will have a victory, and then another and you will keep putting together the pieces that add up to a healthy and happy you. "

By GingerBeer. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3448130
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Old 06-29-2012, 02:17 PM
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Quickie!

Just saying hi! Thanks to Crew for those TED links! Loved both of her videos and even just bought her book on my kindle app! I'll keep y'all posted if you want to know what I think.

And thanks 2mags for the kitty love! I'll post pics of my new kitten as soon as I can! Oh man do I love my current little fur ball and future mini-fur ball
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Old 06-29-2012, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Leemzer View Post
2Mags--A very special congrats to you on 60!!!! I will be with you in 3 days. It is amazing to ne we have done this!!!
Thank you so much and early congrats to you too!
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Old 06-29-2012, 03:42 PM
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Congrats on Day 60 TM!
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Old 06-29-2012, 03:44 PM
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Originally Posted by GingerBeer View Post
Hi all

Just composed a loooong post and detailed post that has now vanished. Sigh. I think that I need to just write small quick responses like Mags does or compose on something that has auto save!
GingerBeer
after you write war and peace, select all text and copy before you post...just in case!
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Old 06-29-2012, 04:02 PM
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So frustrated. Nothing is going right. I won't bore you guys with it, just ...

Sigh. Hey kittycat3, kitty pictures would be cool; please share when you can.
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Old 06-29-2012, 04:31 PM
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Good Friday evening, May boaters! Hope everyone is doing well in sobriety today. Was just chatting with a neighbor a little while ago on the front porch, trying to catch any cool breeze available in this melting humidity.

Looking for relief on this sultry, stifling day.
Temps reaching high 90's are here this week to stay.
AC's too overwhelmed for enough cool air to generate.
Drinking iced non-alcoholic drinks on this Day 48.

Bob/Iwant2: Super job on sticking to iced tea and turning down the booze. Admirable feat of sober strength, May mate.

Luling: How did that iPhone hypnosis app work for you? I usually drink herbal tea, but it's too humid and sticky for a hot drink. Hope your day gets 100 percent less frustrating for you, too. Big elephant hugs!

The knighted Sir Super-Crew: Love your posts about your kids' shenanigans and comments to their very patient daddy.

Jeni: You sound great, sobermate! I hear ya on wrestling with time zones. I've been staying up way past recommended bedtime for pachyderms to post with my May buddies.

Soleil: Wonderful to hear from you, classmate! "...our class...once you've been a part of it, you cannot "unsee" it..." You expressed that so beautifully. Thank you for sending good job Karma my way. Great that you're doing well on the sober trail.

Dweller: So happy that you had a full and thoroughly enjoyable day yesterday, poem mate. You surely deserve it. Hugs to you, my sober desert friend.

Emily: Look at you on Day 26! So close to that milestone 30. Excellent navigation on that roller coaster. Thanks for your well wishes on my job leads.

Easy: Awesome that you're back on track with us, sobermate. Great to hear that your confidence is restored. Exercise...you and me both, buddy.

OneLess: Great post on staying sober through an otherwise stressful move from your cherished apartment to a lovely new home. Crossing my fingers for an easy closing. Keep up the great sober work!

2Mags: Day 60 for you! Way to go!!! I am so proud of you. Another thing we have in common is weight lifting at the gym. Miss it, gotta get back to it asap.

Lee: Congratulations on Day 57!!! Super job, May mate. How are you doing on giving up caffeine? Any headaches or funky moods?

Pink in a poke buddy: Wonderful that you're staying sober while enjoying time with your loving hubby. Keep up the great work, sobermate!

Rdytoquit: Please stick around with us, May mate. You're very welcomed here and we're just getting to know wonderful you.

Saskia: "I see this wonderful class of May 2012 as a warm, caring group who support each other through a difficult process. Priceless." Written so gorgeously, thank you. So happy you're with us in our sober May journey.

HitRock: Thank you for re-posting Ginger's "Misfit Toys" post. Excellent choice, classmate.

Kittycat: Hi, right back at ya. Always great to hear from you. Enjoy your furry babies. In caring for my neighbor's cats temporarily, I'm in furry-baby stark-raving lunatic mode, at present.

Off to see 2nd mom in the new rehabilitative center where she's currently undergoing physical therapy. Not sure how long it will take her to be strong enough to walk again. Would have seen her last night, but ran into Mr. Tranny (in full flaunting fashion) by her house. Didn't want to share the visit with him, so just said my good-byes and ducked out.

Catch up with all of you later, soberpeeps. Hugs to all.
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Old 06-29-2012, 04:58 PM
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Well, it was a good meeting tonight. But then I always come away feeling more positive. Up earlyish in the morning, as I have a meeting at 10:30.

Ginger - I've lost a few posts when the ethernet cable popped out at the crucial moment. Now I try to remember to copy it into textedit just in case.

Rdytoquit - You're a part of this group. The loss of anyone of us diminishes us all. We want you here.

HitRockBottom - I'm glad you reposted the 'Misfit Toys' post as well.

Anyway, I need to call it a day now. It's getting late. Good night and sleep well Class of May mates. You're a great bunch, and I'm glad I'm part of it.
And I'm glad to be sober.
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Old 06-29-2012, 05:08 PM
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Hey FP, I hope you have a nice visit with 2nd Mom.

I think the hynosis sleep app helped a bit; I didn't go right to sleep, but I was able to settle down and stop fidgeting so much, which helped a lot.

As for the frustration, I don't know what's wrong with me today. I can't think straight or problem solve. It's like I woke up this morning and left about half my IQ points on my pillow. Then when things start to go wrong, I'm totally overwhelmed and not knowing what to do. I give up and will try to sort it all out tomorrow. Going for a nice, sober walk right now.
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Old 06-29-2012, 05:28 PM
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That used to happen with me early on Luling...Like my brain was running on two cylinders...That's normal and goes away with time. Don't let it frustrate you.
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Old 06-29-2012, 05:37 PM
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I think everyone gets days like those Luling - alcoholics addicts or not
walks always help me anyway - hope it helped you too

D
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Old 06-29-2012, 05:58 PM
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So I have to vent: this just happened as I'm leaving the library and I push open the door because they swing out and as I do it I see a woman approaching. She's in her 60s walking and assisted by a cane.

Now, please know that I hold the door for everybody: men, women, children, pets. No big deal, it's automatic and just what I consider to be civilized pro-social behavior. I teach my kids that's what you do. We give up out seats on the streetcar for older people or people who look like they'd like to sit. I say good morning to people I walk by in my neighborhood, even if I don't know them. My kids will (hopefully) do the same.

So, back to the library: without hesitating, I simply keep my hand on the out-swing door after I walk through so that it stays open for her as she approaches and thus doesn't slam in her face. No gallantry, I'm just kinda holding it with one hand as I'm facing the direction I'm walking. After another second I realize that she has stopped in her tracks in front of the door. So I look back and smile and nod in the direction of the door. She glares at me stone-faced. So I them mildly say "I'm just holding the door... To which she responds with an icy "So what?"

Umm, so nothing? My response is to just shake my head and let the door swing closed in front of her and walk away.

It won't deter me from holding the door for the next million people I pass in my life and right now I'm just glad she's not my next door neighbor.
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Old 06-29-2012, 08:05 PM
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Ginger! I can't understand how people can be so downright outwardly nasty to others. I was pumping gas yesterday afternoon and a guy in a car pulled in front of the mini-mart door (not a a parking space) and left his music on blaring (song about drugs, women, sex, and black people- in much more derogatory terms... soooo loud!!) So I feel your frustration! I forget who first said it, but I also feel like I'm always relating things back to myself even though I'm just trying to show I understand someone else's viewpoint or situation. I don't mean to be a one-upper or anything and I don't think anyone else is either.
Luling, I'm sorry you're so frustrated today. I would say not drinking is the only problem solving you should be doing today if you're feeling overwhelmed.
FP, You are insanely thoughtful responding to everyone individually. I wish I had the words and organization for such an undertaking in my posts.
2mags- congrats on 60! Glad to hear the view from up sounds nice! Good luck with the exercise thing... I must also get my butt in motion once we have settled into our new place.
Lee- you sound fantastic! Grats on 57 days!
Pink- stay strong.. time to make new memories sober. You can do it!
House closing today was delayed a couple hours because of last minute shenanigans but we are officially home owners! I felt incredibly awkward and uncomfortable saying goodbye to the sellers and our realtor, and of course over-analyzed that I wasn't nice enough or appreciative enough or serious enough. Sigh. Social anxiety. Then we went to our new house and cleaned hardcore. Uhaul decided to royally tick us off by making us pick up the uhaul today instead of tomorrow so we lost three hours cleaning, but got the worst of the worst done. Another anxiety I have is not really like germaphobia, but just other people's dust, food splatter, cobwebs. If I could dunk the house in some sort of sanitizer, I would be all over that. I mean you cannot wipe every square inch of surface area in a house in one day.. so I'm gonna have to deal with what we got done. I just took a decontamination shower and wiped my sandals down with lysol. It's pretty bad. But the main thing is we got the house! and to be completely honest, I was so busy cleaning, I barely thought about drinking. I just knew it would kill my motivation and I had so much to get done. Up early tomorrow to do the moving. I am still horrified that someone I know may read this and recognize it is me. I am struggling with some issues and some relationships and although I feel comfortable sharing some things (like moving- which is kind of generic), I am still scared to open up about myself or my history, even though it would probably be therapeutic. I dunno. I feel bad even mentioning the frustrating parts of my day today because overall, I mean, we bought a freaking house. It's supposed to be a great day. I sound kind of like a Debbie-Downer. But I do not see the world through rose-colored glasses and just forget all the crappy parts once we're at the end of a process just because the process has ended and it's the happy ending of owning our first home, you know? Did that make any sense? I think I am just going in circles now. I do that well. Hahah. Alright, have a good night and good day tomorrow all. thank you everyone for your posts and your sharing. Every bit of communication here helps me. Oh, I just realized today is day 40.
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Old 06-29-2012, 08:07 PM
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GB, to the woman who said "so what?" as you gallantly held the door:


That kind of thing really irritates me, when people are so cynical that they can no longer recognize NICE when they see it.

Moving on.

How awesome that we have classmates who are smart and hot?
FP, I just caught this on the re-reading of the last couple of days posts.

AFM (love that), I am having people over for dinner tomorrow night, the first time I've entertained in a long time. Now that I'm sober, I actually have my wits about me and can actually plan these kind of things. It feels really good to be able to do this.

ER, I'm looking forward to hearing about the wedding. Hope it all goes well for you.

Crew, thanks for the TED link. I've never heard of that before. I listened to the "vulnerability" one from BB as I got ready for work this morning. Very interesting! Lots of things to think about. A wonderful way to start my day: a great cup of coffee, a little morning meditation as the sun rises, then listening to the TED link while getting ready for work, and making it to work 1 minute shy of clocking in late.

Yes, Mayans, like the other robots in this world, I actually have to clock in on my computer each day before 8:30 or I'll be tardy.

(Van Halen/Hot for Teacher: "I don't feel tardy.")

Okay, gotta start getting ready for tomorrow. Goodnight everyone.
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Old 06-29-2012, 08:37 PM
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Wow, GB. What a bleak, cold, little world that woman must live in. I no longer try to figure people like that out; I'm just glad I'm not like that. I enjoy my day to day interactions with people, strangers or not. The other day a friendly lady at the coffee shop made me smile with just a few words, brightening my entire morning. I guess some of us generally like people, while others ... don't. Sucks to be them.

OLL! Congratulations on your new house! It's a very exciting experience, but so stressful, even though it's a good kind of stress. And congratulations on day 40! You are doing so well.

Thanks for the encouragement tonight, Dee and Sapling. It's a new thing for me, not reaching for the wine whenever things don't go my way. Interestingly enough, I didn't really want to drink tonight; I was just bouncing off the walls not knowing what to do with myself. Anyway, the walk helped; I'm feeling moderately sane again.
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:48 PM
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Originally Posted by GingerBeer View Post
Now, please know that I hold the door for everybody: men, women, children, pets. No big deal, it's automatic and just what I consider to be civilized pro-social behavior. I teach my kids that's what you do. We give up out seats on the streetcar for older people or people who look like they'd like to sit. I say good morning to people I walk by in my neighborhood, even if I don't know them. My kids will (hopefully) do the same.

It won't deter me from holding the door for the next million people I pass in my life and right now I'm just glad she's not my next door neighbor.
Hey, GingerB. I think it's fantastic that you're a gentleman in practicing common courtesy and teaching your kids to do the same. Don't sell yourself short on that, bro. I've had the door dropped on me many times by men, women, kids... and you'd think that a mammoth would be hard to miss, right? Better to hold the door than risk me breaking the glass or tearing it off the hinges. Tch. People.
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Old 06-29-2012, 10:59 PM
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Originally Posted by OneLessLonely View Post
Oh, I just realized today is day 40.
Hey, OneLess. Congratulations on your Day 40!!! Woo, hoo! Way to go.

And wow, you are one busy new homeowner. Make sure to take time out to be good to yourself. I know what you mean about other people's germs and all the sanitizing involved to make it your own. I bought one house years ago in excellent, solidly built condition for a good price, but the clean-up involved would make you gag. (One-upper alert!) A week before the final walk-through, the seller and I moved appliances back from the kitchen walls to check for who-knows-what in an older home, and found 2 mouse carcasses lying in a small mound of droppings. Eeww, eeww, eeww, but still not a deal-breaker. And then...

The seller was the kind of guy who left food everywhere and never bothered cleaning anything. After the closing, the thrills continued when I pulled out the dishwasher and toeplates off of damaged cabinets to find - you guessed it - even more of the same. Must have been over an inch thick of what I can best describe as a carpet of carcasses and droppings spread over 7 feet, edge-to-edge, within that rectangular cabinet area. Tons of fun changing out overhead light/fan fixtures, too, to get rained on with more stiff, furry bodies.

Once all the shoveling and heavy-duty sanitizing was done (in head-to-toe coverall suits and filter masks), we ripped out nasty carpeting, changed out drywall, fresh paint, etc. Place looks awesome, is now spic and span, and the only thing that scampers across the floor is the rare cricket or two in the summertime.

Now that I've grossed you out thoroughly, I'm hoping your experience with home ownership is virtually stress-free! Congratulations on your first house.
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Old 06-29-2012, 11:26 PM
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FrenchPink! that was a hundred+ up. GROSS!

Did the place stink? One dead something in my basement has made its smell known for months and I can't find the bugger. A battalion of dead mice must have stunk, no?
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Old 06-29-2012, 11:53 PM
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Originally Posted by GingerBeer View Post
FrenchPink! that was a hundred+ up. GROSS!

Did the place stink? One dead something in my basement has made its smell known for months and I can't find the bugger. A battalion of dead mice must have stunk, no?
I'll tell ya, GB, between the filthy, pungent, wall-to-wall carpet and that hidden-until-after-closing massive cemetery of mice, it was by far the worst clean-up job I've ever had to do on a fixer-upper. I owed my buddies much, much thanks in helping to get that place de-funked. When I'd first looked it over before buying it, there were those oil-filled plug-in air fresheners in every room in the house that did an unexpectedly outstanding job of covering up the stink. A great tip to remember if you do any house flipping. We did most of the cleaning in late spring, through the hot/humid summer (no central air), and well into the fall. Then, we started on the interior/exterior minor reno. Definitely a learning experience.
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Old 06-30-2012, 12:34 AM
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I'll go back to the lovely Louise Brooks on Sunday, but since Dee changed his Avatar today, I thought I'd do the same.

- Thursday
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