Dee74

I'm sorry SW.

D

bblackbirdflyy

classical i just love ya! I guess thats the downfall of cyber recovery. we can't knock on their doors, give them a call, or a hug when we are worried about them... or ourselves.....

Tippingpoint

Yes it was me that suggested sending flowers! Sorry I didn't chime in earlier, I've been having some password issues...(anyone know how to reset their SR password?)

Braybear, I will send you a PM right now. If you can give me the address and delivery instructions I'm happy to send some flowers. Don't worry about chipping in everyone...it will be infinitely easier this way...honestly.

Dee74

I think resetting passwords is an admin issue, TP.
You could send a PM and ask 'MorningGlory' she's the head honcho around here

D

Buelah

Well hello classmates - looks like a lot has gone on in just a few days. I'm happy to say I made it through the weekend, and as or right now, it's 26 days. Hubby is still not drinking as well, so he is on day 19.

First of all, I saw this in one of Blackbird's posts:
[QUOTEI don't know if my sentances are even making sense right now! WTH am I doing up at 1:00 am?][/QUOTE]

I normally go to bed by 11:30 or so...it is now 1:30. But, I really wanted to get caught up as much as I could with every one.

Braybear - oh my goodness about your Mom! My heart goes out to you and your family. Please give her a big hug from me. She is truly an awesome lady. I know it upsets you as others have said about the drinking. It truly is a selfish act that we all have done. But, any one that makes an attempt to get better and stay sober is a strong person. Alcoholism is a crazy thing - it picks the strong, the weak, the happy, the sad....and once it gets a hold, it doesn't want to let go EVER! So, that's why we take it one day at a time. Thank you so much for coming to this site and letting us know. As you can see we worry about each other when they fall off the thread.

Speaking of that - where is Squishy, Cherry, and Papanico?

Streamwader - the idea of sheltering yourself from things and becoming a hermit can be a downer when it's because they are the things you love to do. But, if there is any idea in your mind that you would be too tempted to drink, then it is what you have to do. Hopefully, that will pass as you continue your sobriety. Maybe in your sobriety, it will open doors for new past times that you never considered before. Do you have anyone you can confide in so you can use them as support to get you through? Also, what I have found, is when I've been in situations already where alcohol was involved, I just keep telling myself, there's no such thing as one, my new family at SR would be so heart broken, and IS IT REALLY WORTH IT? No, it's selfish. I have also found myself just saying to people, "I just decided to quit drinking for my own reasons." No one has pushed it as of yet. (thank goodness) I am also sorry to hear about the couple of people on Wingnuts that did not survive the storm.

Instant - 65 days - amazing! I know we all have that fear about what our alcoholism has done to our health. But, this is the best choice we have made to make sure we do not do any more damage. Our liver is thanking us. And so are the people around us that love us.

Chimp - you just sound as happy as ever. I'm so glad you are finding peace and enjoyment in your life. Sounds like you are finding a good balance.

Pumpkin Soup - the small bottle of wine in the purse...isn't that sad? I woud do the same, too with whiskey. Family gatherings, dinner parties, BBQ's, etc....how awful. I don't miss all the hiding games I did. All those crazy things we did, thought we were so smart.

Blackbird - The attempt at saving the bird. I'm so with you on that. I've rescued babies after a storm tore the nest apart. Put the nest in a plastic bowl, placed the babies back in the nest, and voila....got to watch them grow from day to day. And sometimes, not so lucky. I get so wrapped up in mother nature and the critters. I saved a Red Bellied woodpecker (young one) from the wrath of our two beagles the other day! I was so relieved. Needless to say, they did not get a treat that day!
I also think it's great you and your Dad are working on being sober together - I think your relationship will flourish from this. My Dad is very opinionated as you know from prior posts. But, I've learned to look the other way, as I know he is only getting older, and I have to love him for who he is as I know some day he will be gone, and I will miss the grumpy ol' bugger. He fought fires in Detroit for 30 years to take care of his family. He has a lot of my respect and I love him for that. So, I wish you and your Pop the best in your journey together.


Bratnik:
[QUOTEMy husband was home and while he doesn't act "weird" when he sees me on SR I definitely think it's somewhat threatening or something to him. I try and tell him how we are all just supporting each other - maybe he just feels like everyone is "fixing" a problem that he couldn't.
][/QUOTE]
You know Bratnik, I've wondered if my husband thinks that. But, it has to be a little awkward for them. It's not that they couldn't fix it, but that we needed others that are going through the same things at the same time, to be there along side of us. I've apologized to him for my thread time, because I feel bad. But, I will say, he is okay with it. I think the feeling I get, is all from me. Kind of like when I got divorced. I needed to talk to people that either were going through a divorce or already had one. It didn't make sense for me to talk to someone with a perfect marriage - they would try to understand, but would not be able to.

Tipping Point - I've been wanting to get into photography - what kind of camera do you have - AWESOME PICTURES. And Angus...oh my heart just smiles!
And you are so right. It's amazing what you can see through a camera lens.

Classical - Lucy, Lucy, Lucy...what a doll! I was so glad to see your post - it had so much history and helped us all to understand your trials. And we can only learn from it, as well. I'll add to your list - Drinking can make you into the person you think you want to be, but in fact, makes you into the person you don't want to be. Glad the getaway went well!

Violet - you are still going strong! Glad to see you know you need to make some changes in your life. It can be very scary, but you have to do what is good for you.

Mariano - great idea on how to look at those urges. All I can see is this ghost now!

Raquel, Leo, and any one else I missed....glad to see you are staying sober as well!

Sorry for the long ramble...OH MY GOSH...it's now 2:02 a.m. My hubby will be up in 3-1/2 hours, and I'll be only 1/2 way through my night's sleep.

Also, we say my brother in law over the weekend on our 785 mile motorcycle trip (Streamwader - came through your neck of the woods - up to Mackinac, around to Traverse, down through Manistee, and back across the state to the sunrise side), anyway - he will be one year sober 7/25/11. He told us "as long as I don't have a drink, it will be one year". My hubby asked him "why would you say it like that ". And he replied "I will not drink today is all I think about, one day at a time". I smiled. He's so right. He lost his license - cannot attempt to renew until 2015. Divorced, house in foreclosure, rides a bike every where and gets rides from people when he can, lost his home business, but still works for his old boss. Said at one time his boss actually counted 27 empty Absolut bottles in his truck. 27! He spent 3 months in jail, and 3 in rehab (could have gone to prison for the 5 counts of drinking and driving - so he was lucky). He's now been sober for just under a year. His attitude has changed, and he looks wonderful. It can be done.

I guess I'll end with this. When I get an urge to drink, I picture that one person that I can't stand. Someone that has always made me feel like nothing. I picture them standing in front of me saying "YOU CAN'T DO THIS. You can't stay sober, I know you CAN'T!". I've used that before when training for backpacking - running up and down the bleachers with nearly 50 lbs on my back, and this person doing that...you know what I do, I push back. No one will tell me I CAN'T. Remember - every one can do this. Good days and bad. You can. You have to realize the day will pass and whatever is causing that urge will as well. Some days are harder than others. One day at a time. Live with no regrets - and picking up a drink, will be a regret. I don't regret my life so far, and I wish this part had not happened, but it would not have gotten me where I am today. Sharing my life with some pretty special people. Hugs and love to all of you - stay strong.

(Sorry about any typos...I'm just about asleep!)

Buelah

Oh, good gosh....Dee - thank you for your continued support with our group and also for checking in on us. It's greatly appreciated!

Chimp

A quick one before I read the rest.

Classical, do you expect an perfect performance from performers always or of it was a known difficult post do audiences accept imperfections?

Chimp!

instant

Beulah. You are our rock. Get some sleep (LOL).

Thanks team. I am off for dinner with my wife.

bblackbirdflyy

so my one year old just dumped a whole can of sparkling water on my laptop. Its working for now, but I fear it may bust at anytime. If I'm not on SR for a while thats why. I hope it doesnt break. I really cant afford a new computer at this time. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. so pissed.

Buelah

Blackbird - I have to run - but I dumped a digital camera in a river hiking before (I completely submerged it). 9 hours later, someone told me to put it in a ziploc bag with dry rice - it absorbs the water. It worked - the guy at Best Buy said you can do it for laptops - anything electronic. If you have to run to the store and can, get a "jumbo" ziploc bag, and some rice, and give it a whirl. Maybe google it, too as to how long you keep it in there - but the longer, the better. I'll check again when I get home.

Tippingpoint

liquid and electronics and power are a bad combination. I'd take the battery out and let it sit for a few days before turning it on again.

Soberpotamus

Maybe turn it upside down so the water can drain out the keyboard. And like TP said... do not try to power it on yet. I did that once after spilling beer... fried my MacBook Air. Had to shell out $800 to fix it.

4thekidz

Beulah- that imagery tactic is very effective as a deterrent for me, or at least was in the first month.

A few months ago I had my little one sleeping in the car seat when I pulled up to the front of the liquor store to grab a fifth of cheap vodka. I ran in, with him still in the car and as I was paying, saw him thru the store front, still strapped in, crying, looking around for me, terrified he was alone.

Pretty powerful imagery motivator. I hated myself and my addiction.

Tomorrow I take him to the water park.

keep on keepin' on, good people of SR....

bratnik

Hi guys - happy tuesday!

Beulah great to have you back! Your presence is missed! Thanks for taking time out of your beauty sleep to talk to us. Your posts are great. What an inspiring story about your brother in law.

Blackbird - I was laughing at how our sober forum turned into a technical forum. Hope your laptop is recovering to keep you here with us.

4TKDZ - that is a powerful story. Thanks for sharing it - I am sure we all have memories such as that we wish we could take back. I hope you are having fun at the waterpark!

Classical thanks for your commitment - you inspire us all to stay accountable to each other and I KNOW that this is one of the main reasons we have all stuck together and stayed strong.

And TP thanks for offering to take care of the flowers. You are a great person.

Have a great rest of the day, guys!!

Stream - I'm so sorry to hear about the accident.

bratnik

Stream - my cutting and pasting were out of order...didn't mean for it to sound like an afterthought.

And PS it's nice to see your posts here SoberJennie!

Raindance

PapaNico

Hello Juners--,
The trip was awesome, until the last day. We had headed to Mesa Verde and one of the guys I was with decided to showboat his new VW. He got pulled over for speeding and the guy in the back seat had a bunch of weed on him. I had a pipe in my shoulder bag. The cop found it all. I had been completely dry for the entire trip, not to mention all the days prior, until that happened. I started freaking out about what is to become of my teaching profession and lost control my friends. I am so very sad right now to admit that I blew everything and drank heavily. I am finally trying to pull myself out of the rut and get back on the bus, but I feel as though I would be doing all of you a dis-service if I were to continue calling myself a Juner. I've checked in with the July class, but I sure do miss this crew.
I am really down right now, and I just feel like I can't win. My mind is totally F'd up. I brought the pipe, which I loaded with one, just one, bowl. That is all the grass I had. I took it because I knew I was going camping with a couple of guys who enjoyed drinks... it was my safety net. I figured if I got a really strong urge, I would take a puff, because when I smoke, I can't stand alcohol. And then all that crap happened. Now everything is jeopardized. To be honest, I feel like the good Lord has it out for me. Everything is so circumstantial. We were going on a trip to explore the past, to learn something about another culture from long ago. We were out to learn something and explore our state. We had no malevolent intentions. I had every intention to leave that damned pipe at the campsite, but the other two woke up late and I was cracking the whip to get their butts in gear; I forgot the thing was in there. I spent the early morning fishing and making breakfast... it was such an enjoyable and sober experience. My friend was speeding. And, I had been winning the battle. On the first night, my buddy was adamant about me putting Maker's Mark in my ginger ale, and I was adamant about staying the course. I felt so good that I had abstained that night and it empowered me on the days leading up to our run in with Johnny Law. Then I just lost it.
So, I guess I bid you all adieu as I try and pick up the pieces and start over. I appreciate those of you who started posting concerns about me over the past couple of days. Thanks for reading and I hope you all can maintain better than I have.

Love,
PN

Bee2011

Edited for a total bad timing and to complete my post:

Sorry papa niko. Please stay strong and get back on course. (hug)

SW so sorry about that terrible sailing accident. We had a similar tradegedy with some local fishermen years back. Such things hit hard and you community are in my thoughts.

Welcome back Buelah and Classical! You are missed when your away.

I just started day one Chantex. Hoping to be off cigs by the end of the weekend. So far today I've cried, laughed and gotten pissed off . So I guess I'll be feeling some side effects. But as long as it's an even balance, I'll try to stick with it.

Bratnik you are sharing such supportive posts to everyone! You are a sweetie.

Blackbird, I was thinking about your job situation and I had a thought. I don't know if you've tried or considered this, but with your love of animals, maybe start up a mobile pet care service. Grooming dogs etc. I know I girl who made a career of it. Be great for the kids too!

Chimp

Classical,

I am with you on that. You know my pledge and I expect you to help me with it but here goes:

I will not drink on my holiday which begins in 10 days

I will post on here at least once each and every day.

I have just read through all the posts from today and they have been a pleasure to read.

Beulah,

'my new family at SR would be so heart broken'

we certainly would and that goes for everyone, if one of us drinks I will be distraught for you. However, if you get back on here I will know you are back on track.

I have just had a lovely chat with my gf about my drinking and I suppose hers. I am very lucky for she is certainly supportive of me. She understands exactly what I am doing and that I am doing it for me. Keeping away from that first drink does make life better. I am very lucky, alcohol had not taken too much of a hold on my body before I made the decision to go sober.

A year today I know exactly what I was doing. A year ago tonight I was getting absolutely smashed in London. I ended up at this house party. I had no idea whose it was or where it was. I knew no one there and when I woke up next morning I was disgusted at myself. I had gone to London to study for a week and my alcohol had destroyed it! I came home and got smashed in my own place.

Anyway, a year later, I am sober and I am back studying. It is also the anniversary of my first day with my gf. A year today we spent the day together. She had left before I got drunk.

Thank God I have pulled myself out of the hell that was my alcoholism. Thank God that sobriety allows me to face life, both its ups and downs. Thank God that I am living life at last.

Thank God for all you, each and every one!

Oh, I had a brilliant hour with my gf's sisters kids today. They were amazing. I am so lucky!

Thank God that tomorrow I will live life without thinking OMG my head hurts, my tongue tastes of alcohol, what did I say!

Chimp

PapaNico,

'To be honest, I feel like the good Lord has it out for me.'

I think he is looking after you. You are back on here. He is steering you in the right direction. It may not feel like it right now but there are a lot worse things that may have happened on that trip.

You are alive, you know what you have to do. Remember, that our priority is staying sober. Do that and everything else, all the good stuff will follow.

You are always welcome here!

Chimp!