Living In Sobriety-Part 13
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Living In Sobriety-Part 13
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Honey I'm homeIt was a rough real test of my sobriety weekend. I am so grateful I am home and sober. I must be honest with all of you. No I did use, but it was for the grace of God only.
Saturday we went into hot tub to hang out and I noticed my cousin was fu*ked up on ambien and my favorite xanax, before the hot tub I went to put my overnight bag in her bedroom and there on here dresser was a presc bottle of xanax. I called her in and asked her to remove them. Told her I was going to be celebrating 1 year in 3 weeks and I wasn't about to be tempted. Went into bathroom tried to call me sponsor, NO ANSWER, called another friend NO ANSWER, tried one more call NO ANSWER. So I locked the door and got on my knees and said 3rd step prayer and 7th step prayer. I begged God to please get me through this weekend. That my sobriety meant so much to me but I know I am weak.
I look at my cousin and said what time does mass start here, she said 5 and it was 5 minutes till mass started, so I told her lets go change and go to mass. She agreed. We get to the mass and who's way in front of us, MY INLAWS, in the meantime, my daughter texts me and asks where we are I told her mass and she starts laughing that nana and popi are there and I told her I see them. So I decide I will say hi after mass and all of a sudden they take communion and walk out the side door so I never got to say hi.
We go home and we get into hot tub and all of a sudden my cell phone rings, I answer and its my daughter and her 2 friends saying they want to come over and finally meet my cousin. I begged them to come over right now.
They were there in 15 minutes and see my cousin messed up and my daughter looks at me with that disqusted look. My cousin blurts out okay let me get the xanax and a blunt (joint) my daughter freaked out with that hurt look towards me. I told my cousin what the f*ck are you doing now you got my daughter thinking I am doing this ****. Well she swears she didn't even remember saying that and she would never even offer me any because she is proud of my recovery.
Well they didn't bring their bathing suits (by the way all of you were sitting in my shorts right there next to hot tub and I was thinking of all you, I could almost hear you yelling WALK AWAY DONNA. so my daughter had her one friend who is very dear to me, stay with us and her and the other girl went back to my inlaws to get their bathing suits. They brought back some wine coolers because they decided they were gonna spend a couple hours there so I wouldn't be alone with her.
I pull my daughter aside and said honey I would never ever use anything and I hope you do know that. I'm not gonna risk my year sobriety for her or anyone. She said she believed I wouldn't but she still did wonder if I might. I can understand that.
So we all hung in hot tub for about 3 hours and my daughter and friends were really getting annoyed at my cousin by her behavior. My daughter started telling me I owed her big time for this one, lol.
They left about 11 and I went up put jami's on and told my cousin I was kinda upset by her behavior in front of my daughter and friends, especially since it was the first time she met them. She was so apologetic. I went right to sleep, she wanted to stay up for tea and brownies, but I didn't want to.
So now its Sunday morning, she didn't remember anything about saturday night except meeting my daughter and friends. So I sat her down and explained how she brought up the pills while my daughter was there and that my daughter felt she was doing that for her and me to take them. She means well my cousin because she knows what my sobriety means to me, we talk about it all the time, but being fu*ked up she just was almost showing off.
The rest of morning goes well, then THE UNCLE SHOWS UP....... I pray inside and then go outside, Say hello and kiss both my aunts, my uncle whose birthday it was, and my other uncle, all of a sudden I see him whisper to his wife, there she is that's donna. I wanted to say go to hell je8koff but was very nice,
I gave his wife a nice kiss and a hug and told her it was so nice to see her after all these years. I then bite my tongue and go to him and said hi and go to kiss him on his cheek and the f*ck turns his head.
Guess what all of a sudden the Serenity prayer popped into my head and I said it and turned and walked away. My cousin was watching this along with my other cousin and unknown to me, she told him he was a real j off and if he started anything he should turn and leave, he said I"M YOUR UNCLE AND YOU SAY THAT TO ME, SHE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE, She said I invited her and she is my cousin and I love her, you I couldn't care less if I never saw you again. My other cousin, her sister asked me if she could come up when I celebrate and come to my celebration. She also told me that lately they are worried about my cousin that they think she has a problem and I told them I had to agree with them but I had done all I could, I sat in hot tub and talked recovery with her and even before be. Couldn't do any more. than that.
Well I went inside and completely ignored him. I ate and sang happy birthday and told her I was leaving. I went outside to have a cigarette and her two sons were out there waiting for me. They are such good boys, they had moved my car and had it facing the street. They were trying to make me feel good telling me how horrible he is, but I didn't want to hear anymore, I just wanted to get out of there.My serenity means too much to me.
So I went back in, kissed my cousins goodbye, kissed my aunts and walked right by him he turned to kiss me goodbye because everyone was and I WALKED RIGHT BY HIM LIKE HE WAS INVISIBLE.
I left and came home. Thanking God the whole ride home. I am so grateful I survived what should have been a nice weekend. I have friends who treat me with more love and respect than friggin blood relatives or I really should say 1 relative. I feel much better now that I have let all this out.
Sorry it is so long, I needed to keep typing to let my friends know what went on. That is all over and I SURVIVED IT AND I AM SOBER AND SOBER AND VERY GRATEFUL TO BE SOBER.
Living in sobriety
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,870
Omg Believe, I am so glad you survived that weekend it sounded like torture. Be careful now because sometimes the after effects can get us!! Take care. I am off travelling today and wont be back till tonight, Cant talk long now as rushing!! Talk later. Good to have you home. Glad we were in your pocket but I think HP deserves the credit.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: over the seas and far away
Posts: 862
left and came home. Thanking God the whole ride home. I am so grateful I survived what should have been a nice weekend. I have friends who treat me with more love and respect than friggin blood relatives or I really should say 1 relative. I feel much better now that I have let all this out.
Sorry it is so long, I needed to keep typing to let my friends know what went on. That is all over and I SURVIVED IT AND I AM SOBER AND SOBER AND VERY GRATEFUL TO BE SOBER
Sorry it is so long, I needed to keep typing to let my friends know what went on. That is all over and I SURVIVED IT AND I AM SOBER AND SOBER AND VERY GRATEFUL TO BE SOBER
wow.... what a weekend ! you must be feeling so proud of yourself!! AMAZING
glad to see you back here
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Happy Labor Day LIS'ers!!!! Enjoying a hot cup of coffee in MY house. I am going to my old 12:45 meeting today, the one I use to go to before working. So glad to be back here on SR, I really missed it. And thanks to all of you for reading that episode sorry it was so long. This program really works WHEN YOU WORK IT.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Donna I'm so sorry you had to endure all but honey I sure am proud of you. You did all the right things and you got through it without using. I agree with Nelco, be careful even now. You may still be experiencing after-effects so don't let your guard down, okay? I hear a lot of gratitude from you and a real connectedness to your HP and I think that's just awesome.
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Ro, thanks
I must tell all of you, I really had your names on a paper in my pocket, the same pocket as my Turn it Over stone. And I couldn't tell you how many times you all came into my head over the weekend, I would just keep playing with that paper in my pocket and thinking of all the people who are in my network of sober friends. Simply amazing.
I am going to go to my 12:45 meeting today, the one I use to attend when I wasn't working. Then I will get to my Step meeting tonight.
I must tell all of you, I really had your names on a paper in my pocket, the same pocket as my Turn it Over stone. And I couldn't tell you how many times you all came into my head over the weekend, I would just keep playing with that paper in my pocket and thinking of all the people who are in my network of sober friends. Simply amazing.
I am going to go to my 12:45 meeting today, the one I use to attend when I wasn't working. Then I will get to my Step meeting tonight.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: over the seas and far away
Posts: 862
And I couldn't tell you how many times you all came into my head over the weekend,
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
anon, that's why "I" drank but "WE" get sober. It is no longer I, now it is WE. It is a "WE" program. That is something I never really knew about last time. I'm glad we pop into your head to keep you away from the bottle shop. I'm really glad you found us 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Wow, all the posts this morning are giving me goose bumps!
First, Bee......b4 you left, I said that you were in great spiritual shape and you proved that in spades. You rose above so MANY challenges and proved that, with your HP, you are so strong (I won't say invincible, but that's what I'm thinking). A man in a meeting said not long ago that whatever challenges are presented to us are never TOO many...that our HP knows just how much we can handle (or, put another way, we can handle anything that comes our way BECAUSE our HP has our back). You go girl! Honestly Bee, you are a main artery around here and we all missed you like mad and were thinking of you all the time. Which leads me to my last thought...it's just amazing, isn't it, how a group of us with the same affliction, can mean so much to each other? I am close to people in AA, but not the way I am to all of you. It's different and the same. I think I'm finally getting the "we" program bit. Somehow the fact that you survived intact strengthens ME. Kind of like I piggy back on everyone else's challenges in sobriety and absorb YOUR strength.
Anyhoo, welcome home, sweets. Treat yourself to something special today and the next time you face a challenge, think back to this weekend and then think about the current obstacle and say: "pah!...this is NOTHING compared to that weekend!"
Smooches!
lis
First, Bee......b4 you left, I said that you were in great spiritual shape and you proved that in spades. You rose above so MANY challenges and proved that, with your HP, you are so strong (I won't say invincible, but that's what I'm thinking). A man in a meeting said not long ago that whatever challenges are presented to us are never TOO many...that our HP knows just how much we can handle (or, put another way, we can handle anything that comes our way BECAUSE our HP has our back). You go girl! Honestly Bee, you are a main artery around here and we all missed you like mad and were thinking of you all the time. Which leads me to my last thought...it's just amazing, isn't it, how a group of us with the same affliction, can mean so much to each other? I am close to people in AA, but not the way I am to all of you. It's different and the same. I think I'm finally getting the "we" program bit. Somehow the fact that you survived intact strengthens ME. Kind of like I piggy back on everyone else's challenges in sobriety and absorb YOUR strength.
Anyhoo, welcome home, sweets. Treat yourself to something special today and the next time you face a challenge, think back to this weekend and then think about the current obstacle and say: "pah!...this is NOTHING compared to that weekend!"
Smooches!
lis
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
WILLIE ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bee...isn't it funny that we were both posting about our coming to an understanding of the "we program" concept!!!!!!!!!!
(I know you guys have missed my willie alerts, come on, admit it!!!!!)
Bee...isn't it funny that we were both posting about our coming to an understanding of the "we program" concept!!!!!!!!!!
(I know you guys have missed my willie alerts, come on, admit it!!!!!)
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
how a group of us with the same affliction, can mean so much to each other? I am close to people in AA, but not the way I am to all of you.
And honestly thank you for such kind words, they mean alot but I have to disagree, I am not a main artery here, I am only one together we have made this thread what it is and I will be eternally grateful for each and every one of you.
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