grrrr

Cool, the three of us are all on day 9.

I agree PB, there is so much more we can do sober. I have dreamed about being clean and sober for so long, and now it has finally clicked that it is time to get my butt in gear and make it happen. Why was it ever so satisfying to hole up by myself and get high all day? I am done wasting time.

I have an appointment with an outpatient clinic tomorrow. Not sure if it will be the right program for me, but just making the appointment is a huge step for me. I have told my close friends/family what I am doing, and have great support.

Glad to have everyone here to make this journey with.

K

mtnmagic

Great job Paddington. Wow, you've saved a lot towards your diving goal. I'm impressed. I still have to figure out what my goal is. I'm still kind of scattered, lol! I've noticed extra money in my pocket too these last two weeks. It got pretty expensive because I would only buy enough for one day of drinking. My image you know? Couldn't have the liquor store clerks thinking I had a problem.

I remember walking into a 7/11 sometime during the last week of my drinking and seeing three policemen standing over by the coffee. I was a wreck. I didn't care, I had to get some booze. The clerk is from Vietnam I think. He rang up my purchases really quickly and bagged them. Then he leaned over and whispered, "Lady, you crazy but you nice...Them police don't like crazy so hurry and go now." I did get home safely, and with out incident, but it just shakes me up how I didn't care one bit what might happen to me.

LacieMae - Congratulations on your 9 days too. Amazing how fast some things can change when we start doing the next right thing for ourselves, huh?

15 days for me...I'll keep coming back here, but can anybody tell me which thread follows next in this sequence. Least are you around? Where do I go from here?

On Edit: Grrrr - We must have been posting at the same time. A Woo Hoo on your 9 days. Sounds like a good plan to check on OP. Nothing to lose by just checking it out. Isn't it nice
to have a more open mind these days? I've been so closed off for a long time. It's great to be
considering alternatives to staying sober. Wasn't very long ago that the only considering I did was managing my next drunk!

four812

three cheers for you guys on 9 days
and 2 cheers for me and mtnmagic

just checking in before leaving work and already i feel a little empowered from reading the determination in each of US.

thanks...Your continued perseverence helps me, everyone. slowly we are changing ourselves and together we are changing the world.

shanman422

I'm on day 9 too... yee-haw!
magic - congrats on 15 days! That's fantastic.... to all of you... your doing great... keep posting!

BrixtonBear

Grrrr, Laciemae and Shanman, well done on your 9 days! It's great that all four of us are on 9 days and moving forward together.

mtnmagic, I really identified with your post. You know, I used to buy alcohol in several different stores on the way home (rather than buy a huge amount in just one store) and conceal it all in a rucksack. If I bumped into someone I knew at the check-out or on the way home, I didn't want them to know I had a problem. I'm glad those days are behind me now.

Big cheers for you, mtnmagic and ksplash, for your 15 days!!!

mtnmagic

Great Job Shanman. It's cool that there are four of you on day nine. Keep it up!

Yup Paddington. That 7/11 clerk hit the nail on the head...Not only was I a drunk, I was a really crazy person too.

Honu

Wow, I can't stop reading. I've been lurking here for a while, totally ashamed to show my face here. I know that you won't "dis" me, nor hate me, nor anything bad. However, my shame is eating me up. I just want to stay lurking, and hiding. I felt like I had it all under control, but, it apparently has ME under control. I don't like to think that I am "powerless", but, I think I am.

So, today, will be yet ANOTHER DAY 1. I am so sick of Day 1's. I hope that all my friends here I've met in the past won't hate me for being gone, and for not being here to support them. I hate leaning on anyone, or asking for anything. But, I'm falling apart here.

I'm so sorry. I feel like I've failed everyone, but, especially myself.

Thanks,

Honu :Fall15

Hope

Honu,

I'm glad you are back! Don't feel ashamed. Be proud that you are trying again.

We are here to help! I'm here for you!!

I missed you!

Ananda

Glad you are here Honu....I'm just glad you are posting again....day 1 is GREAT!!!!!:ghug

Honu

Goodness, it never occurred to me that anyone would miss me.....I guess I assumed.....oh, never mind. It doesn't matter. Assuming is a bad thing. Thank you, though, for not forgetting me. You've made me all weepy, now.

Honu

shanman422

It's okay Honu... we are here for you! Don't ever be afraid, that's what is so wonderful about this website... we all have our ups and downs to share! Keep posting... Day 1 is better than not trying at al!!!

mtnmagic

Hey Honu - Welcome. Ya know deciding on a day one even if it is "again" is huge. Those day ones are he!!, and don't I know it. I've gone through sooo
many Day ones it is beyond my ability to count them. Good for you to come back here.

I'm on day 15 and I keep coming here to post. That is because this thread really, really helped me in getting my two weeks. (Also, I don't know which thread to go to from here, so I hang around here until I can figure it out, lol!):bounce

grrrr

Hey magic, glad you have graduated the thread, but I selfishly am glad you haven't really left yet! Let me know where to go though, I hope to follow you soon!

Hey Honu, check out the date I joined this forum, talk about many day 1's! For me, it has been approaching things with a different attitude this time. I really can't drink or smoke without having problems, and I am sick of bringing those problems into my life. I am glad you are here, this thread is great, and you can move past day 1. What will you do different this time?

K

Honu

What will I do differently this time? I honestly don't know. Right now, I'm just making the decision to not drink tonight. Tomorrow, is a new decision. I am working tomorrow, so it's not really an option. That never bothered me, anyway. When you can't, you just don't. Or, at least, to me, that's the way it is.

I guess keep coming here, to read and learn, and just do one day at a time.

Honu

mtnmagic

Ok folks - I went on a search and found a thread that Negative Man started for people with 30 days or less. Seems the next natural place to focus on for me at least. It hasn't been active for a few days, but I have every confidence we can move and make it very active and supportive for anybody on here who is working on 30 days of sobriety. What do you think?

least

Honu!! I'm so glad you're back! Really glad you're trying again. That's the key to success - never give up!

:ghug3

grrrr

I like it magic! 30 days seems like a good new goal. I would be thrilled to get to that point.

Honu, taking it slow and coming back here sounds like a fine idea. I know others are finding help in AA meetings and I am going to check out an outpatient program that includes AA. I have also reached out this time to friends and family for support. Whatever it takes, let's all keep doing it.

K

mtnmagic

That's good news to me grrr, cuz you know what? I already had your seat saved!

CarolD

I see no reason members can't share in either
the Under 30 thread or here or both...

Stickly speaking...I don't belong in this one.

I was asked by a member...no longer active...
to come share my experiences here
and
I've stayed because it's such a joy to
watch y'all move forward.

Forward we go...side by side....

mtnmagic

Thanks CarolD. What a concept, I can stay in both! Yep, still
real cloudy here.