Gooch

I would never tell you you were full of crap Vic.

Might point at your shoes and let you know when your standing in it though.

good to see you posting this morning. Taking chance out to play?

Luckyv2

I might be inclined to say that pointing at my shoes and letting me know I am standing in it might be a good enough gesture to know that I am full of crap. Well I am waiting here for my computer technician to come and replace me hard drive, have a roof to do, but yeah we usually play everyday and at night we play fetch, sometimes he really gets wound up.

aloneagainor

I just came in from moving a pile of, let's call it "compost", and want to add that it's from these composted elements so much bounty and beauty arises. It just needs to be spread about where it's not all piled up, so to be free to change and morph into what it can then become...

In the new incoming messages today I just received word from a friend whom I've not heard from in about six years. 12 years ago he took a stray husky that had wandered on to this property and he gave him a home. Yuri dog died yesterday. Yuri was a lucky dog to have found my friend, and my friend loved that dog so very much. Reminds me, once again, to be grateful for those in our lives while they are here. And on that note, come on my buds (dogs) Theo and Vixen, we're going to the creek...

temlin3

aloneagainor...

I read what you write and I shake my head. Not because I am implying "no" or anything negative. I am shaking my head because I still cannot believe how lucky I am to have found SR. A true community of people who not only want to better themselves, but want to help in the betterment of those around them. I feel so blessed to be a part of this. Your extraordinary gesture is so very much appreciated, aloneagainor. I do need a book, and I would be honored to receive your copy. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I don't have a whole lot to share in writing right now. I'm afraid that my mind is pretty jumbled... real-life events just had to get in the way this week. But, I am still very thankful for the ability to sign on to SR and read what you all write. There are always reasons for me to smile and remember the good when I see how wonderful the people are here, especially you all. Thanks for being there, even if you aren't THERE, because it gives me such comfort.

Sending as much positive support and good wishes that I can for all of you.

Jennifer

aloneagainor

Isn't it cool how it all works... together. PM where I should send this. I wish you WELL with it. It's important text.

But we are right here. And in being here, we're HERE. It's a grounding, stability. Really quite fantastic.

I feel blessed in being here and HERE too.

Wolfman

watching you all bouncing ideas off each other is tremendously inspiring.
That post by gooch on sponsorship was really a humorous perspective. glad you're enjoying the summer with your dogs AAO. I lost my JerryDog last year after 10 unforgettable years and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't lovingly remember his wonderful personality and the companionship we shared during his time here.

I've heard it said that eventually the only thing that will come between you and picking up is good sponsorship. I've been @ the Program for more than 10 years and have availed myself of many #s and even used them, but I cannot say that I have been straight sober all these years either. I have never had a sponsor and have no justification for it. In the beginning I just wanted the literature so I could 'fix myself' and get on with the business of life.(lol...)
I'm coming up on a year clean and have been really on myself to just pick a sponsor and stop waiting for the ideal circumstances... I told myself when I got clean last year that I had exactly one week to pick a home group and get a sponsor. I have a home group every saturday night and it is awesome.
But a sponsor??? Time to take the ACTION I'm always preaching and Apply it directly to this situation in my OWN life.

"The truth, so easy to know, so hard to live."

Anyhoooooooooooooo.....

Bless you all and keep positive. Remember... you can start your day over any time you like!


Peace to you

-Wolfman

Midas

Opportunity presents itself at the most inopportune times...sometimes we recognize it, sometimes we don't. Having a sponsor won't necessarily keep you from relapsing, but it helps to have someone to talk to about whatever it is that may be troubling you.

Neither success nor failure is written in stone in the NA/AA program. It's good to have a spnonsor, but it really isn't required. I had two sponsors at one time. They argued all the time. I even fired my first sponsor. We're still friends. hehehe. Having a sponsor is like having a mirror that talks back to you. If you hear and listen, you will gain knowledge. It's not always about being told right from wrong, good from bad, black from white. It's all gray anyway.

Peace.

Luckyv2

From what most of us have learned that a sponsor surely knows how to live life on life's terms. The most important part of a sponsor is to guide you and let you take the steps. Teach us how to live with the steps. The blue print of recovery.

Love Vic

aloneagainor

Inspiring indeed! And so highly motivational...MUCH appreciated. Oh do I hear you Wolfman about "fixing myself" so to get on with the business of life. I'd always thought that since I got into drugs on my own, I'd get out of them on my own, at will, whenever I so choose. It just doesn't work that way.

Yes, about recognizing opportunity! That's what we NEED outside perspective to see, because it doesn't seem that the addict mind can see clearly, not even after some time off the drugs, some blinders/ walls are still up that we don't even recognize are blocking our path, obscuring our vision.

"The truth, so easy to know, so hard to live."
(seems I should know the source, sounds like a song lyric...)

Or, consider a twist on that same theme, from the song "Sticks and Stones":
"You've got to keep an open mind, the truth is so hard to find..."

No matter where we are in recovery, the need for outside perspective and keeping an open mind remains. Surely no-one can keep me from using (I can't call it relapsing because I've not yet ever really committed myself to recovery, only some temporary attempts at sobriety); that said, I do know that considering outside perspective has shown me the clear path to take that I WANT to traverse, and how to get there. No ONE is directing me, rather, there's a broad diverse group helping to guide me. Yeah, I'm still relying on my own best thinking here...yet I do not have a sponsor and the step work meetings begin tonight again at the start with Step 1. For now I utilize the whole broad base of insight and support and proceed from here with an open mind...to see the black, whites, grays, as much of the full color spectrum as I can see...inviting all to contribute to this painting...

Wolfman, your JerryDog...was 10 last year...born in '95. Coincidental timing? Did he look like Jerry? My Theo-bud will be 14 this fall. I got him as a pup. He's the first dog in my life, my constant companion. He's lying beside me at my feet now, and will tag along with me throughout this day's wanderings. Unconditional love. We learn so much from extending ourselves out to others. Giving and receiving, all.

Wolfman

JerryDog FOREVER. Guess he must have been a wee bit older than 10. I guess 11 and change were the number of his days. JerryDog was white and black... Jerry was a white man in a black pocket tee... coincidence??? Whoa.

Thanks for the laugh. I miss my canine soul brother. We had a connection like NO other. Better to have shared the time than not to have known him at all, though. His passing actually took me "back out." Profoundly sad and painful. I speak out to him towards the skies often. We have to go through what we have to go through to get where we are going. I chose the easier softer way and regressed back into using. Hindsight is 20/20, and I didn't erase all of my progress and insights by relapsing, although I certainly don't condone the idea for crisis management.

Sober today and life IS good. When I feel a little"dangerous" I know it's time to hit a meeting, phone a friend or get my nose into some literature.(oh yeah! Or peruse SR!!!)

Each day is a new beginning and an opportunity to do something positive for ourselves and others.

Pass it on!

Peace to you all and God Bless

-Wolfman

Luckyv2

Sometimes we just have the opportunity to do something for someone else. That is the part that I truly appreciate knowing that we can be of service to others. Sometimes when we do things we do it to be noticed. My sponsor always says to do something once a day for someone and not to tell anyone about it, so that only you and the Spirits knows about it. This is the hardest thing for any of us to do and yet the opportunity is always around us, if and only if we are aware of our surroundings. Life is pretty simples most of the time for us, but we are the ones that make is difficult. Running a little late this morning have a great day.

Love Vic

Wolfman

Yeah, acts of kindness for kindness sake. Not seeking a residual act is certainly the way to proceed. Otherwise your motives are surely tainted and you're also setting yourself up to be dissappointed.

There is a bit of a mischeivous pleasure that can be derived from remaining anonamous sometimes. Instead of claiming the praise for a deed well done, one can smile and know that someone was positively affected by an action .

Today was temultuous, tonight is serene. Hope you all are feeling fine!

Peace to you.

-Wolfman

aloneagainor

Doing the right thing, the kind thing, because it's the right and good thing to do. The anonymity factor factors into the equation with such stylish flair, adding that delightful element of surprise. Ideal exchange all around.
And it's really so forward thinking, so optimistic.

There's that word "opportunity" presenting itself again! At last night's NA step-work meeting I read the Preface out loud. Concluding with, "We are grateful to have been given the opportunity to participate in this project. Thank you for allowing us to be of service. --World Service Conference Literature Committee" Yes, the Committee thanking US for allowing them to be of service. While I was thinking "We are grateful to have been given the opportunity to participate in this project. Thank you for writing this text! --Addicts Around the World"

Yes, about the meeting last night. Beginning at the very beginning. We read the first pages of the NA basic text, and Step 1 from It Works How and Why and began in the step working guide. Overwhelming, really. We ended early, at my request. It was just me and the group founder. She's great. She would be there every Wed. night. But I can't ask her to do that for me. After working several times through the book the group has disbanded, the members moving on, not interested in working through the book AGAIN. But of course that makes sense. However, with no other new members, it appears the group might be on hold or otherwise disintegrated.

Which poses an interesting situation for me. The chair of this group is great, 11 years with NA, she's committed to it. She's extremely active in NA, a huge big heart, loves people, and all that goodness. She has many (too many?) sponsees and she's not one I'd ask to sponsor me anyway, as much as I appreciate her...trust my reasons are sound, not avoiding.

Last night I read about the reason for having a sponsor, a major reason being to LEARN HOW to trust. Again, I see how this works, yet cannot fathom being there, farther still now. I guess I need to find a different NA group. This area is so rural, it's difficult. But important. This is kind of a setback, but NOT a stall-out. What I'm supposed to do next will appear, I trust. I do!

So again, grateful for SR and these connection found here-in.

Listened close to your words about your JerryDog, Wolfman. My Theo-bud, at near 14, he's been with me through so much, he's my woodland and garden traveling companion. We've traveled far together. He still keeps up with me, but I wander slowly and break often (into the trees!), so it's not hard, we're a good team. You've endured the passing of your friend. I feel it. I'd like to have a more solid foothold than I have now before I have to endure such loss...

Working on finding the way. With focused, concentrated attention, assuredly. All words written here I so thoroughly process, so tree-mendously appreciate. Looking for opportunity where it may appear.

Peace.

Wolfman

So the students have worked through the text several times and now"moved on." Wherein their journey did they forget about the newcomer and "giving back that which was so freely given"? IMO groups shrink and grow through the passing of time. It is as if they have their own seasons. Wonderful to hear of the group "leader" though. It is individuals such as these that "will ensure that anytime, anywhere, when someone reaches out for the helping hand of the program, a hand will always be there.

Peace to you all

Wolfman

Luckyv2

yes very well said is for those who no matter what reach out there hand to help others. They will always be there because they know the value of sobriety, the happiness it brings, and they are willing to go that extra length to help..The saying that you can not keep it if you don't give it away holds very true to not only sobriety, but in life in general.

Love Vic

temlin3

Yes, these individuals are who keep the program going, passing on to newcomers like me what they've learned. Thank God for that.

Gracious for today and you all,
Jennifer

aloneagainor

Ah, I fully understand why after working the step-workbook through several times the members would want to move on. The group only had six members, that's the risk I run in attending the smaller meetings and avoid the large well-established ones. There are alternatives...

...including LOTS of helping hands here typing away. This resource of being able to connect to other minds at any time so fantastically unobtrusively via written word, freely engaging at will and knowing there's someone who can and will hear you and converse on any subject related to recovery, instantly, from various perspectives from all walks of life and from around the world, well, it's the strongest sense of interconnectedness I've ever known.

That said, the Internet could dissolve should there be some global catastrophe disrupting the system...
But then so would gasoline supply also be disconnected and it's 12-miles to the nearest town, 18 miles to the nearest NA meeting...
And the telephone system would also likely not survive such chaos either...
but I digress.

It IS easier to maintain focus in an NA group setting, and I do see the value in meeting WITH other people in person...well you see I'm wrestling again with the subject of meetings. If they were more accessible (closer) this wouldn't be such an issue. I LOVE concentrating on the NA material and other related readings and writings and contemplation thereof with others through written exchange, for hours every day. On that note, I have reading material awaiting me now, been eager to get at all day. And will likely incorporate it in my writing across the boards tomorrow. Which will spark ideas in others, and they'll share with others, and so on and around it goes. Hands, hearts, and minds, willing to share, always there. And there are emoticons for hugs and other concepts....

Hmmm. Am I being too independent-minded/ isolating here again?

Luckyv2

((((((Jennifer))))))

If it wasn't for people like you and me WE wouldn't have a program. Yep two addicts helping another is without parallel and plus we also can have fun. Great that you are here, HOPE to get to know you better.

Love Vic

aloneagainor

Thanks for answering my question Vic. I sorta lost it there at the end of my last night's post, as you see. It's been a disconcerting past few days.

So yes, it is about connecting WITH other people. Thank you for sharing what you have. Getting my thinking straight here again, thanks for the gentle steer correction.

Temlin Jen, you made it to a meeting, and ARE connecting with others! Encouragement. People helping people.

Luckyv2

Sometimes we get more out of a smaller meeting than a bigger one. I know that the groups that I choose to go to are smaller around 5-15 or so per meeting. Yet there I feel more comfortable and there I feel more connected with the Spirits to Be than some of the others. I feel that whatever works for you, do it. Just don't try to isolate, when you don't want to go to a meeting that is probably the best time to go. Around here they say that there are two times to go to a meeting, when you don't want to go and when you want to go. Sooner or later the isolation won't be as strong, and then when it gets like that you will only isolate knowing that you need time for you.

Love Vic