reservations
chris addict
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: tulsa ok
Posts: 120
reservations
man I just learned about reservations,and Im glade I did becouse I was on my way to picking up . I kept telling myself ( Im not an alcoholic I can have a beer once in a while but I know now I cant I have an adictive personality and thats that.Now at first I thought well that sucks but Ive come to grips with it by praying and meditating and talking to my sponser.man I know I might have other reservations deep in my head So Im going to have to watch for them has anyone else had this problem.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: out there...
Posts: 2,653
When I first got clean I stashed a cardboard box of paraphenalia in my attic.
I mostly forgot it was there but every time we talked about reservations at meetings I would remember that box in the attic and squirm just a little bit. Then I'd forget about it til next time. Finally one day I got tired of squirming and asked myself if I was really ready to continue this clean way of life and not have any doubts about my intentions. I went home and got the box and ditched the stuff.
I mostly forgot it was there but every time we talked about reservations at meetings I would remember that box in the attic and squirm just a little bit. Then I'd forget about it til next time. Finally one day I got tired of squirming and asked myself if I was really ready to continue this clean way of life and not have any doubts about my intentions. I went home and got the box and ditched the stuff.
chris addict
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: tulsa ok
Posts: 120
wow now that is a reservation I think that reservations is the hardest I had a hard time telling all my friends that I was quiting until I really surendered you know.
love ya.stud0134
love ya.stud0134
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Greentree, PA
Posts: 276
I have been trying to get clean from opiates (prescription pain pills) since Sept. 03. I first came here in Jan. 04.
Never believed I had a problem with alcohol. Told myself I liked the taste of wine, and that I only had the occasional glass (or 3 or 4) with dinner. But once the pain pills were gone, I found myself having wine every night.
Waking up with a hangover most days of the week, I decided I needed the pain pills to "cure" the hangover. You can probably guess where that went.
I have finally, FINALLY realized that if I am going to stay away from my DOC, I need to also give up alcohol. Sooo, I haven't had a drink in over a week. And I actually don't miss it. (unlike how I felt when I gave up the pills)
So, I may not be an alcholic (or may be, who knows?), BUT, I have to give it up if I am going to recover. That was very hard for me to admit, bcz I love to cook, and eat, and wine has always been a part of that. And all my friends can drink, socially, normally. So I'm jealous of them. But if I want a "normal" life, the alcohol can't be a part of it, because it will lead me back to the pain pills. I proved that to myself.
that was MY reservation and it was a biggie.
Ash
PS, I also must admit to my BIGGEST reservation. I have yet to tell my doctors about my addiction problem. I need to do that in order to complete my surrender. Otherwise, I can always go back to them and get a prescription for my drug of choice (I have legitimate pain issues). So I STILL have a reservation out there that must go.
Never believed I had a problem with alcohol. Told myself I liked the taste of wine, and that I only had the occasional glass (or 3 or 4) with dinner. But once the pain pills were gone, I found myself having wine every night.
Waking up with a hangover most days of the week, I decided I needed the pain pills to "cure" the hangover. You can probably guess where that went.
I have finally, FINALLY realized that if I am going to stay away from my DOC, I need to also give up alcohol. Sooo, I haven't had a drink in over a week. And I actually don't miss it. (unlike how I felt when I gave up the pills)
So, I may not be an alcholic (or may be, who knows?), BUT, I have to give it up if I am going to recover. That was very hard for me to admit, bcz I love to cook, and eat, and wine has always been a part of that. And all my friends can drink, socially, normally. So I'm jealous of them. But if I want a "normal" life, the alcohol can't be a part of it, because it will lead me back to the pain pills. I proved that to myself.
that was MY reservation and it was a biggie.
Ash
PS, I also must admit to my BIGGEST reservation. I have yet to tell my doctors about my addiction problem. I need to do that in order to complete my surrender. Otherwise, I can always go back to them and get a prescription for my drug of choice (I have legitimate pain issues). So I STILL have a reservation out there that must go.
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