I'm sick,sick, sick
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Clean and Sober
Posts: 156
I'm sick,sick, sick
Thank God the rooms of NA offer so much!!! Yesterday I had a terrible day. When I relapsed (23 days ago) I took more of my klonopin than I was supposed to and ran out so I have been in withdrawal the last three days. I felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin. So it was boring at work, I sent hours lookingup websites to get some more but to no availl Then I was beating up after myself. I went to neurologist today and he could not give me any other opinion for the klonopin. I am stuck.
I sure beat myself up when I came home about the internet thing, I know better but it's right in my face every day of my working carreer that I spend at the computer.
Please help. :laugh2:
I sure beat myself up when I came home about the internet thing, I know better but it's right in my face every day of my working carreer that I spend at the computer.
Please help. :laugh2:
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: left of center
Posts: 68
Hey Ssindi -
hang in there... but I am confused. You said you relapsed 23 days ago, but then you said you have been in withdrawal for the last 3. I am wondering what it is...
I can identify with the compulsion to use... to go online becuase you are obsessed because you are an addict. My drug of choice was not the same as yours, but I found ways and means to be the greatest focus I had when I was in my own head and still struggling with the desire to use. You said it! Thank GOD for the rooms of NA... when we go in there, we can tell on our disease - just like here, we can listen to feedback - just like we get to read it here, and unlike here, we can also get HUGS! I am glad you know where to go - where you belong. Where you can find unconditional love of others just like you and me.
Congrats on taking some of its power away and giving it to the "universe" (your HP or whatever you want to call it!) by telling on your addiction here. You don't have to follow through on it. You have an obvious desire to stop using... You can do it and as far as the withdrawals, I can only say that what I have read here from others is that this part might require some professional assistance if it is bad enough - I know you probably know wayyyyy more than I could even begin to add here.
One thing I CAN give you feedback on based on personal experience (TONS of it) is the beating myself up part of what you are going through! I know where you are with that... and you don't have to do this perfectly... not even gracefully... just don't use! You can do this crying, or laughing, or both at the same time... but if you embracce the NA Way than you know you canNOT do it alone!
Hang in there! muchlove, amanda
hang in there... but I am confused. You said you relapsed 23 days ago, but then you said you have been in withdrawal for the last 3. I am wondering what it is...
I can identify with the compulsion to use... to go online becuase you are obsessed because you are an addict. My drug of choice was not the same as yours, but I found ways and means to be the greatest focus I had when I was in my own head and still struggling with the desire to use. You said it! Thank GOD for the rooms of NA... when we go in there, we can tell on our disease - just like here, we can listen to feedback - just like we get to read it here, and unlike here, we can also get HUGS! I am glad you know where to go - where you belong. Where you can find unconditional love of others just like you and me.
Congrats on taking some of its power away and giving it to the "universe" (your HP or whatever you want to call it!) by telling on your addiction here. You don't have to follow through on it. You have an obvious desire to stop using... You can do it and as far as the withdrawals, I can only say that what I have read here from others is that this part might require some professional assistance if it is bad enough - I know you probably know wayyyyy more than I could even begin to add here.
One thing I CAN give you feedback on based on personal experience (TONS of it) is the beating myself up part of what you are going through! I know where you are with that... and you don't have to do this perfectly... not even gracefully... just don't use! You can do this crying, or laughing, or both at the same time... but if you embracce the NA Way than you know you canNOT do it alone!
Hang in there! muchlove, amanda
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Clean and Sober
Posts: 156
Thanks Amanda, I didn't mean to get you confused, when I relaped, I took more of the klonopin so I ran out and then I was going through withdrawals for a few days but my doctor insists this is the only thing that helps my type of seizures. So I have to stick to the prescribtion!! That's it.
I just heard that my husband is working friday and that means I can go to my meeting on friday, Yippee. I have to remember my recovery comes first. All the people in the rooms seem to have so much knowledge of the program and I can't wait to be like them. Meetings have really helped me. And the words in the book, you can read them over and over and over again and they just mean so much every single day. The only book I haven't purchased yet is the Just for Today and with my next paycheck I am going to purchase it. Then I'll have all the books.
Somedays that disease just screams louder in your head than other, blocking all rational thinking allowed. Thank god for the rooms.
I just heard that my husband is working friday and that means I can go to my meeting on friday, Yippee. I have to remember my recovery comes first. All the people in the rooms seem to have so much knowledge of the program and I can't wait to be like them. Meetings have really helped me. And the words in the book, you can read them over and over and over again and they just mean so much every single day. The only book I haven't purchased yet is the Just for Today and with my next paycheck I am going to purchase it. Then I'll have all the books.
Somedays that disease just screams louder in your head than other, blocking all rational thinking allowed. Thank god for the rooms.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Never, Never land
Posts: 2,851
Cindy,
Just remember to take your meds as prescribed, and you will be fine. If you have to, give them to someone you can trust to dispense them for you until you feel OK doing it yourself.
It's great that you love the meetings, that is so important. You'll be fine.
Laurie D
Just remember to take your meds as prescribed, and you will be fine. If you have to, give them to someone you can trust to dispense them for you until you feel OK doing it yourself.
It's great that you love the meetings, that is so important. You'll be fine.
Laurie D
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: left of center
Posts: 68
Hey Ssindi...
Thanks for explaining to me. I had seizures due to my addiction. I am blessed and GRATEFUL beyond words to be able to say that when I stopped using, my seizures stopped as well. I haven't had one in over 3 years. So I didn't know what that medication was. Definitely glad you are taking it and keeping on top of your medical issues. Does it do anything to you that causes it to feel like using when you take extra? NAMOMMY is so right about that suggestion of having somebody else hold it and give it to you if you are concerned about your ability to stay on the prescribed dosage.
I love the literature too... you know - until you can get the book, there IS a way you can read the Just For Today each day... I get it emailed to me everyday and it is SOOOOOO great, because I frequently will leave for work for the day and forget to grab my meditation book and read. I LOVE that book. I like to read the meditation and then sometimes go to the page where the quote it is taken from is in the Basic Text... at the gathering I have with my sponsees each month this is the format of our "meeting" - we read the JFT and then go to whatever chapter in the text it is taken from and read that. Then we have our meeting. It is wonderful...
Here is the link to go sign up if you want to get the JFT e-mailed:
http://www.jft.ca/list
Glad you are here... glad you are at meetings... glad I am too! much love!
amanda
Thanks for explaining to me. I had seizures due to my addiction. I am blessed and GRATEFUL beyond words to be able to say that when I stopped using, my seizures stopped as well. I haven't had one in over 3 years. So I didn't know what that medication was. Definitely glad you are taking it and keeping on top of your medical issues. Does it do anything to you that causes it to feel like using when you take extra? NAMOMMY is so right about that suggestion of having somebody else hold it and give it to you if you are concerned about your ability to stay on the prescribed dosage.
I love the literature too... you know - until you can get the book, there IS a way you can read the Just For Today each day... I get it emailed to me everyday and it is SOOOOOO great, because I frequently will leave for work for the day and forget to grab my meditation book and read. I LOVE that book. I like to read the meditation and then sometimes go to the page where the quote it is taken from is in the Basic Text... at the gathering I have with my sponsees each month this is the format of our "meeting" - we read the JFT and then go to whatever chapter in the text it is taken from and read that. Then we have our meeting. It is wonderful...
Here is the link to go sign up if you want to get the JFT e-mailed:
http://www.jft.ca/list
Glad you are here... glad you are at meetings... glad I am too! much love!
amanda
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Clean and Sober
Posts: 156
thanks amanda your are very knowledgeable thanks for giving me that link. I'm feeling better these last few days. I have a meeting tonight and I can't wait to go. I have some other things to finish up beforehand, like shopping and banking, etc.
My head continues to feel a little foggy today because yesterday I was having a terrible allergy attack and my husband gave me a 4 hour pill to make my nose dry up but man, it made me feel weird.
I have to get back to working my steps.
My head continues to feel a little foggy today because yesterday I was having a terrible allergy attack and my husband gave me a 4 hour pill to make my nose dry up but man, it made me feel weird.
I have to get back to working my steps.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: left of center
Posts: 68
Yeah, I took a Dayquil or something like that one time - one of those things that is NOT supposed to make you drowsy and it didn't make me drowsy, but it DEFINITELY made me WEIRD! I hear ya...
The steps have made such a huge difference in my life, they are the path to freedom, just like they say. I am glad you are feeling better. Isn't it amazing how all feelings really DO eventually pass? Once we become willing to really FEEL them, that is!
I'm feeling a LOT of feelings lately - tough ones... but I am getting through. Thanks to meetings, sponsor, steps, and phones. Once I got a little freedom from the desire to use DRUGS, well, all these OTHER manifestations of my addiction came sneaking up on me demanding my attention and showing how many areas I have room for growth in. God knows if I DIDN'T have a program I would be a mess!
Have a great weekend... much love to you! amanda
The steps have made such a huge difference in my life, they are the path to freedom, just like they say. I am glad you are feeling better. Isn't it amazing how all feelings really DO eventually pass? Once we become willing to really FEEL them, that is!
I'm feeling a LOT of feelings lately - tough ones... but I am getting through. Thanks to meetings, sponsor, steps, and phones. Once I got a little freedom from the desire to use DRUGS, well, all these OTHER manifestations of my addiction came sneaking up on me demanding my attention and showing how many areas I have room for growth in. God knows if I DIDN'T have a program I would be a mess!
Have a great weekend... much love to you! amanda
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Clean and Sober
Posts: 156
You have a great weekend too. Sunday I have a full full day. Taking my mother in law to church then meeting my great aunt with her, out to lunch, out to movie, and maybe, maybe a meeting. Boy, I better relax on Saturday.
Do some reading.
Do some reading.
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