ajca

Please go take another's inventory, but i am trying to stop prescribed meds, but I admit i am way addicted, but i am not going to announce I'm no longer part of 11 years of AA life. God forbid you have serious surgeries, say going blind, or cancer, you will cross this path, rigourous honesty applies., but many get through it without going back to their drug of choice

ajca

I spoke Sunday night at a rehab, I have one eye blind, one with stitches they put into a vice and thus can't close your eyes and general anesthesia. Whatever, I'm trying not to drink nor go back to my drug sof choice, I'm on pain pills , so I'm not truly sober, but I'm trying to get off, if i can't, either way I'm back to rehab and i guess I'm toast.

Thanks, not my day for judgements, I am sure many in na and aa, never have to go through serious surgery, god bless them, peace out

ajca

Day 3 going easier, by the way. I'm sorry to ramble, but until I drink or go off doctors orders, I'm staying with my sketchy program , not open to cash register honesty right now, but i know I'm addicted to pain pills and i had no choice, I'm trying to get off before doctors orders

ajca

Anyway, anyone trying to get off pain meds while in a program who had no choice and then became addicted, don't give up and DONT go back to your drug of choice, I'm on dayv3 and i can function a bit.

ajca

Well day 3, no pills and light work out

Sorry, but I'm not interested in judgements, I know I'm addicted, but i had to take these pills, although I bought an extra supply, I did not use them. Any addict that can taper, my hat is off to you, but i felt I needed to stop, my doctor and AA people all know my condition, 3 rejected transplants.

I'm going for another day clean tomorrow, but i don't feel being fed up on taking meds, makes me a bad example. Yes, I have s pain without meds, every time I blink, but i could noteait till august to begintaper, I'm done. God bless the program, but please don't judge me for not being able to take as prescribed perfectly forv8 months. I've been at meetings, exercising, keep my service commitments, and I'm not shooting upbpercocet, I'm hoping to get back to Med free life. Obviously, I'm powerless

Gmoney

Hello ajca,

Are you familiar with the NA program? The reason I ask is because: [1] This is the NA 12 Step Forum, [2] I don't recall you mentioning going to an NA meeting or taking any other NA suggestions in your posts, and [3] other than not wanting to be judged, I haven't heard you share how we can help you.

G

ajca

Well, day 4,. Starting second day with no pills. Went kayaking and light exercise. The flashes are much less, still not at close my energy. I'm a marathon runner, still ran half's while on percocet, but i know thats crazy, but losing my vision in one eye, love running . But my runs suck on percocet, terrible, never felt right.
I was at a meeting today and just came clean, group level. I said I don't know if I'm sober anymore, but i did not drink and I'm not sure why I've been on pain meds so long, no way my doctor undrstabds. Some old timers told me to just not worry right now, I had to do it, but I'm still suiting up

Its still hard, I'm not feeling great yet, but way better than Wednesday , another world better

ajca

Yes I've been to NA, and i appreciate your post. I've read the blue book and a former cocaine user
And major alcoholic
I'm sharing my story, that's it. Obviously I'm struggling to get off pain meds and trying to find my way back to serenity

ajca

I can't just give up all my AA commitments due to 3 surgeries and problems with pain meds, I dont know what to do, but share my story,. Even with my 10 year chip, I've always felt like a newcomer. When I had to gone meds, I can't stop and realize I'm not living the program anymore. My eponsor had to take oxy for a year for spinal issues, but he got off eventually, I don't know what my clean ddate is besides yesterday, but I've still ggone 11 years without a drink and no cocaine.

Best wishes

ajca

I will go to an NA meeting, I only go to AA Past 11 years, good call

Gmoney

Hi again,

You are more than welcome here to share your day-by-day struggles with addiction, yet I was curious as to why an AA member would post such things in the NA forum...especially when there is an AA Forum here at SR. Also, if you're not seeking help from NA and only want to tell your story, there's a forum specifically for that as well:

Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I haven't read anywhere in this thread that anyone is suggesting that you abandon your AA commitments, but what I did see was that someone suggested that you get honest. As I'm sure you already know... honesty is one of the foundation principles of 12 Step recovery and in order to find the serenity you seek...getting honest in all your affairs may be a excellent place to start - even if it means ultimately stepping back from service for a while (or accepting a new clean date). Coming clean in your group was a good start, IMO.

As a newcomer, I was taught that, when I didn't know what to do I should ask for help and become willing to take suggestions. This teaching still applies to me today. Unfortunately, knowing what to do and being willing to do it is two totally different things.

best wishes.
G

ajca

I'm gonna stop writing and just go back to reading posts. Thanks Captain

I'm sorry for many comments, I got an NA sponsor today. I'm only 2 days clean from percs. I'm grateful

I guess I'm real unsure about all my work to not drink and smoke coke. I arrived in aa homeless in 2000 and I had a career and a life, I lost everything, but my HP gave so much back to me

I feel I am powerless over opiates, never took them till surgeries, they are the worst and most evil drug ever, because you can function for a long time, unlike being a drunk or smoking crack.


Thank you everyone in NA and Godspeed

ajca

Captain, I'm not qualified to help anyone in NA, obviously, but i hope you can taper, its strongly suggested, my method is rouge and fear-based, but only the 12 steps work for addiction. I really hope you can, many do, successfully, many fail, as someone with 48 hours off pain meds, know nothing . Feel free to email/ message anytime, I'm going one day at a time, just like when my higher power freed me of the obsession to drink and use. Sorry for typos, I don't see well yet, but my newest transplant might restore some vision

Thanks again for being here

ajca

Starting day 4

Took 2 hours to walk 5-6 miles yesterday and very sore. I ran 10 miles a week ago, but coming off opiates, feel like I am 150 years old, have to go easy

Its amazing , say 30 stupid MILLI GRAMS of a substance can be so powerful

Again, if you can taper at 10% a week, you will not go through this living hell on earth, but many cant.
Day 4 , so feeling the best today since I started

ajca

Went two meetings, 1 aa, 1 NA.

CarolD

Gmoney....in order to qualify for our Stories Forum....a member must have
a minumum of 1 year continious clean and sober time..

just an FYI.....

CarolD

ajca....

I too have had surgeries that required pain meds since I quit drinking in '89.
I took them only as prescribed and got off as soon as possible.,,I'm talking
about 4 days...even with eye and cancer operations.

I did not get addicted...and sorry that you did..
Had addiction from that been true for me...I'd keep asking my doctors about de toxing and yes..be in NA.

I am glad corrective surgery is possible for you...my retina disease is progressive and incurable.

Squizz

This. Just come clean. Get honest. I know a guy who went through a very similar situation. He went into a strong depression, and started taking sleeping pills. They were OTC, but he still abused them. He had six years of sobriety, but he changed his sobriety date. Getting honest will help you a lot. All the best.

dbearw

I understand your dilema, I'm fighting an Ultram addiction I got while taking them as prescribed. I am totally hooked but I don't abuse, i.e. take them any way other than prescribed. However, I get totally sick when I try to ween down. It's crazy! I don't want to lose my sobriety and sponsees etc. but it's been suggested that I go to rehab and do a detox. There are also other issues with bipolar meds so that's part of the reason they want me to go and be monitored. It's a HUGE ego blow but that's all it is. I'm addicted so I have to start over. ugh. Good luck to you.

dbearw

I don't mean to insinuate that you have to change your sobriety date- I just feel that that's what I probably will have to do, especially having to go to rehab. But I put this off for a long time too. Ultimately it's between you and your HP.