ajca

I am gonna say day 2 is a little better, but its still a nightmare. I'm afraid to go to a meeting, I'm a mess, but i have spoken to my sponsees, who all know I'm on meds, for surgery, but I've hidden the truth.
Yes, its very hard to eat, upset stomach, flashes, no energy, . Writing here helps alot, just have a bookmarked page on my xoom tablet. I'm writing this to hopefully get off percocet, hope I'm not annoying people or I should maybe just use a private journal

ajca

Now I know why rehab business is boomimg for prescription meds. Its very hard. Mind keeps telling me, if I use, I could get stuff done and feel better. No one can out think addiction, thus a rehab forces you to get clean, but many go out after they leave
I'm wondering if i should not even take the 1 pill today, I want to be off so badly. I can't hide this detox, its hard, but not impossible one day at a time

ajca

Anyone who thinks suboxone or any other cure works, is kidding themselves. To get clean, you have to detox

ajca

Went to a meeting, wow, it was hard, just to sit there, let alone listen. I know many people in AA, I can't go to my home group in this condition. Gratitude was the topic of the speaker discusiion, not there yet
I'm sure many can taper off in 6 weeks, like my doctor planned for me, my hat is off to you, I can't taper over weeks, can't
I'm now well into day 2, 80% reduction, one pill a day, then no pills. I feel like hell, but I've asked my HP to help me off pills. I can't take 4 a day, then 3. Then 2, no way.
Its hard on day 2, as I said, house remodel, no bed no shower, until night. We are week 8 of a house remodel and i don't care , no excuses to delay.
Well, to anyone who is on percocet (oxy), its a dead end for people like me, I hope you never have to take it. Peace out

Captain1

I start my detox next month. I have been on oxy for one year for a back injury and ruptured disk diskectomy lipendectomy. My dr told me he had never seen such a narcotic tolerant patient after post op they gave me. 10mg Valium 5 shots of diluadid two 10mg percocets and stil no relief told me that most people would be sleeping the next 12+ hrs. I'm tired of the pills and watching the clock for my next dose. It owns us and we have become slaves. I have tried cold turkey by day two my wife took me to the E.R. Don't really remember going but once he gave me dilaudid and two percs I was normal. I cannot go cold turkey I'm going to try the taper first and I know it sucks but trust me cold turkey is unbelievable. I am behind you and pray for you soon it will be my turn and I hope you are clean by then and can help coach me! I would start my taper now but my dr says it's to soon with the physical therapy I told him when this bottles gone we start the taper. I'm scared as hell. You can make it! And so can I you are so close to being there and to start feeling better. Keep pushing! If not for you your family!

ajca

Hi captain.thanks so much for writing. I don't recommend what im doing, nor did my doctor. My doc knows I am an an alchy and addict.
I've been trying to taper, knowing about my upcoming taper, and just can't live without pills, I can't go anywhere, but i functioned well for awhile, then I crossed a line
I've gone 48 hours, 10 mg a day, down from 50-60, was at 100 a month back, its hell, I don't recommend this plan, but I'm gonna keep at it. My doc says 2 a day would be much much easier.
I will be here, no matter what to help, one day a time . Get well, you had no choice either:-)

ajca

I just want to say, it is very very hard, I lost it a few days ago, I'm in AA and all I think about it my pills, coumting hours, pills, 24 x 7. I can't go to a family dinner out, without exceedimg my meds, I can't be consistent or feel serenity on these meds. I don't know if i can do it, but one day at a time.

If you are prescribed, like me, no one does it this way, you taper

ajca

I mean some go cold turkey, but it is hell for a few days, I'm only at 48 hours

ajca

Many people hate meds, they are not addicts. I'm an addict. If I can't do this, gonna have to go to rehab, can't do suboxone or other scams out there.

ajca

Well its 5pdt, > 48 hours. I feel decent for the first time, but ive had one pill today. I'm able to walk around, even laugh.
I'm sure it will be a rough eve/night. However 2 days, two pills is a miracle for me. My doctor says take a half at night, but tomorrow should be the last terrible day

ajca

Its hard, but many posts must be people way abusing and run out.

Maybe I was too aggressive so far, but this is just my experience trying to grt off. I've told my sponsor, therapist, my family since day 1, but due to rejected organs, had to stay on much longer than we thought. Tomorrow I also have one pill, but my doc says by Saturday it should start getting better

ajca

Well, that didnt t last. These days are soooooooooooooo long. I broke down and and took a half, so 1.5 today. Doctors say to wean 10% a week, that's forever, I can't do that.

Well, 2 days, 2.5 total. I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore, its so hard, if I could check out of my life for a week, that would help. I can't see doing this another day, but I'm gonna try. Doc says don't go above 2 pills or your going backward, so he says try to make it a bit less psycho and do 2 , then 2, then we,ll got 1.5. If i can make it 1.5 tomorrow, that would be best, now that I'm getting into 72 hour territory.

I'm so humbled, but I'm still down > 60%% , so i guess not to get down. I don't want to use anymore , if need be, I will go to any length. I eas at betty ford in 1999, I've stayed alcohol and cocaine free for 11 years, never tried heroin. Hope yelling this story helps someone

Captain1

Almost there bud! I to have my past that I dealt with but this is hard if you have made it this far you can go the rest. One good thing is it can't get worse only better. Sounds stupid but have you tried the potassium, b vitamins and exercise? It's helped me with the leg cramps which is what kills me. Plus tons of fluids. I promise if I could I'd be there to support you man. Your doing way better than I could do. Keep writing if it helps we don't mind we all have been there or are about to be there!

AphroditeLite

Hi ajca,

Thanks for sharing. I do have hope that you can get clean. This program works miracles if you work it. Do you think that it is honest that you continue to sponsor others in AA?

Gmoney

ajca

Yeah, rough night getting to sleep. Body is under too much change. I slept great on opiates, but too good. Can't wake up in time for things and sometimes too tweaked to fall asleep, terrible

Today is day 3, although I started Tuesday, I don't count it, was not very clear that day. My biggest problem right now is my planned weekend is changing anand I need to get out to see my family at a summer home. Or I could flake

I feel pretty OK so far, having coffee, normally my pills come first, period, no getting out of bed without pills, remember I'm not old turkey, but very aggressive taiper. I'm really sick of this, the days are very blankin long, but I'm cômmtted

ajca

Well aphro 3 transplants, not my choice, no drinks, but thanks for your analysis, I'm not ready to change my date and i had to be on these, but clearly I'm addicted , so I will think this over. I don't want to drink , so i will get back to this. Thanks for your comments, I'm trying to stop a serious relapse

ajca

There are people in AA who had to take narcotics and struggled, but I'm willing to cut my spobsees loose. I'm taking these by choice

ajca

But I've lost the power of choice. Sorry aa judgement was not what I wanted to read today

ajca

Sorry, you can't have your cornea s cut out 3 times without taking meds