Is this a relapse??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: WI
Posts: 14
Is this a relapse??
Hi...I am new to this site. Pretty unsure about how to use it, or what to say. Kinda how I feel when I go to my NA groups. But...for those of you 'veterans' out there, I would like to pose a hypothetical question. I have been clean for over 3 months now. (A HUGE accomplishment for me, since during the last 10 years, the longest amount of clean time I have had has been 2 1/2 days.) Anywho... Is it considered a "relaspse" if someone with any amount of clean time, took, for instance, one vicodin for a legitimate pain (i.e., toothache). However, that one pill was not prescribed to them? (Would not go to my doctor because I am 'red-flagged'.) But, they did not take it with the intention of 'getting high'. Any thoughts???? I appreciate any and all feedback. Have a great day! ~SpideyAngel
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,928
These types of questions come up every so often around here and I guess it just depends on how a person looks at it. In my opinion, it's not a relapse if the pill was taken for legitimate pain and not for the purpose of getting high. This is where a person must be honest with themselves. Drug addiction recovery is different than alcohol addiction recovery in that no one would be prescribed alcohol to deal with a medical issue; whereas, there are legitimate reasons for taking medications. I wouldn't worry too much about it if you know in your heart that you took the pill for legitimate pain, and you didn't try to score more.
Welcome to SR spideyangel!Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
Is it really so important how others view this "hypothetical" scenario? And, if so, why?
The reason I ask is because, as an addict, I can look for answers already having made up my mind about how I see things. Part of it is that I hope others will agree with my conclusions or cosign my crap. Another part is that I could be looking for an excuse to disqualify myself (i.e., "F%$K NA!! What do they know anyway?")
With that said, here's my opinion: I do not believe it was a relapse because your intentions were not to get high. But I also believe that you were walking on shaky ground by taking medication that [1] wasn't prescribed for you, [2] may have been similar to your drug of choice, and [3] could've set off a chain reaction that led to you actually getting high. There's plenty of non-narcotic pain relievers on the market that could've been obtained legitimately without risking your recovery.
I'm with Phinny...what did your sponsor say about this? Did you discuss it with your NA group?
The reason I ask is because, as an addict, I can look for answers already having made up my mind about how I see things. Part of it is that I hope others will agree with my conclusions or cosign my crap. Another part is that I could be looking for an excuse to disqualify myself (i.e., "F%$K NA!! What do they know anyway?")
With that said, here's my opinion: I do not believe it was a relapse because your intentions were not to get high. But I also believe that you were walking on shaky ground by taking medication that [1] wasn't prescribed for you, [2] may have been similar to your drug of choice, and [3] could've set off a chain reaction that led to you actually getting high. There's plenty of non-narcotic pain relievers on the market that could've been obtained legitimately without risking your recovery.
I'm with Phinny...what did your sponsor say about this? Did you discuss it with your NA group?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 42
If you have a sponsor, did you talk to him/her before taking the medication? One of the reasons that sponsors are so necessary is that they help us spot self-deception. I'm not saying that you are not being honest with yourself, just speaking from my own experience.
If you were my sponsee, I would tell you that it was suspect because you didn't call me before you took it to discuss your concerns. With only 3 months clean, I think it's more important than ever to discuss ANYTHING drug-related with my sponsor.
Also, you said you have been "red-flagged" by your doctor. I'm assuming that means you have in the past abused prescription medication, maybe Vicodin? Either way, I would get with my sponsor ASAP to discuss what happened. If you don't have a sponsor, I would grab one ASAP.
If you were my sponsee, I would tell you that it was suspect because you didn't call me before you took it to discuss your concerns. With only 3 months clean, I think it's more important than ever to discuss ANYTHING drug-related with my sponsor.
Also, you said you have been "red-flagged" by your doctor. I'm assuming that means you have in the past abused prescription medication, maybe Vicodin? Either way, I would get with my sponsor ASAP to discuss what happened. If you don't have a sponsor, I would grab one ASAP.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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Curious.... was vicodin your former 'drug of choice'?
I agree with everything Suki said in her response.
The only thing I might add is that if vicodin was your drug of choice I might suggest getting rid of all of the vicodin and choosing a different pain killer. Yup, I know that could introduce an entirely new set of problems. Just a thought, sometimes we gotta take something, I might not take what I already know was a problem is all.
I agree with everything Suki said in her response.
The only thing I might add is that if vicodin was your drug of choice I might suggest getting rid of all of the vicodin and choosing a different pain killer. Yup, I know that could introduce an entirely new set of problems. Just a thought, sometimes we gotta take something, I might not take what I already know was a problem is all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: WI
Posts: 14
relapse question.....
Thank you to all who have responded to my question. (Not sure if this is the way I am supposed to be replying to all of your feedback, but I'm going to give it a whirl.) First of all...yes, I have an NA sponsor! She is the one who introduced me to this site as a supplement to rest of my recovery tools...and I am very grateful to her for that - - and for many other things. I have not taken any narcotics thus far, and I talked in depth over the phone with my sponsor regarding this issue. My sponsor and I are able to have very honest and open conversations about anything, which is such a great thing. So, yes, I have talked to her about this issue. She suggested that I pose the question in this forum because she believed that I would receive helpful feedback, which was the case. She had the same feelings as one of the members who posted, which was (to paraphrase) that I should try something else (OTC) first, and then to be honest with myself about my intentions. If it was legitimate and not with the 'want' of being high, if I thought I would be able to control the use, etc. And to those who asked... Vicodin, Oxy's, Morphine, etc were my drugs of choice (preferably the latter two). I have also dealt with meth and coke addictions in the past, but I haven't touched either for over 5 years. Then, the opiates came along. I was using everyday, all day for about 3+ years before I sought out recovery. It's hard, but with the support I have been giving, I am feeling confident that I can overcome this. I know that I will always be an addict, but I feel proud to say that I am a recovering addict. Thanks to all who responded. It's nice to know that people I have never even met before would take the time to give me their insights about my inner struggles.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 42
Spideyangel-
It sounds like you have a great sponsor! Congratulations, it also sounds like you've done a lot of hard work! I also fought a very nasty narcotic addiction. One of my biggest fears was that I would "get hurt" in recovery, and not be able to have pain relief.
A few months back I woke up with horrible tooth pain. My first thought was "Oh, crap! I'm going to need vicodin!" I paged my dentist, and told him of my drug history. He suggested Motrin, which I tried not to laugh at. I think for those of us who were narcotic addicts we just assume that Motrin, Tylenol, etc. don't do jack sh*&.
In this case I was right, and called him back. In the end, it took 4 Motrin alternated with 2 Tylenol every 6 hours to get relief. The point is, I got rid of the pain without having to turn to my drug of choice. Our bodies don't know the difference between recreational use and medical use.
Am I saying that I'll never need narcotic pain relief again? Absolutely not, I just will try everything else first.
Peace,
K
It sounds like you have a great sponsor! Congratulations, it also sounds like you've done a lot of hard work! I also fought a very nasty narcotic addiction. One of my biggest fears was that I would "get hurt" in recovery, and not be able to have pain relief.
A few months back I woke up with horrible tooth pain. My first thought was "Oh, crap! I'm going to need vicodin!" I paged my dentist, and told him of my drug history. He suggested Motrin, which I tried not to laugh at. I think for those of us who were narcotic addicts we just assume that Motrin, Tylenol, etc. don't do jack sh*&.
In this case I was right, and called him back. In the end, it took 4 Motrin alternated with 2 Tylenol every 6 hours to get relief. The point is, I got rid of the pain without having to turn to my drug of choice. Our bodies don't know the difference between recreational use and medical use.
Am I saying that I'll never need narcotic pain relief again? Absolutely not, I just will try everything else first.
Peace,
K
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
I know that I will always be an addict, but I feel proud to say that I am a recovering addict.
Congrats on your 3 months and keep up the good work! I now know that your scenario was just that...a scenario. But please don't let fear play games with your head. You're doing great and it was very smart of your to seek ES&H.
Be blessed,
GarryW
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
hi Spidy! how ya doin? thanks for adding me as a friend
to answer the question you've asked below. in my humble oppinion yes taking a Vicodin (you're drug of choice i assume?) even for a toothache would be a relapse. i'm a benzo addict. i've been clean for almost 4 months now but during the past couple of weeks i've been having such serious anxiety that twice i had to go to the emergency room because i thought i may have been having a heart attack. i have pains in my chest and arms. i know it's probably stress and tension and i know that if i were to take a benzo i'd probably feel allot better and be relieved of these aches and pains i have, at least for a while anyway. but i'd consider that a relapse and i don't want to relapse because i know i'd end up addicted again and then if i'd want to quit i'd have to go through all the withdrawl symptoms and they're even worse then the "heart attack" symptoms i have at the moment.
i don't know anything about your addiction but in any case i'd reccomened you not to take that Vicodin. take to your doc and see if he can give you an alternative medication which you won't get hooked on.
to answer the question you've asked below. in my humble oppinion yes taking a Vicodin (you're drug of choice i assume?) even for a toothache would be a relapse. i'm a benzo addict. i've been clean for almost 4 months now but during the past couple of weeks i've been having such serious anxiety that twice i had to go to the emergency room because i thought i may have been having a heart attack. i have pains in my chest and arms. i know it's probably stress and tension and i know that if i were to take a benzo i'd probably feel allot better and be relieved of these aches and pains i have, at least for a while anyway. but i'd consider that a relapse and i don't want to relapse because i know i'd end up addicted again and then if i'd want to quit i'd have to go through all the withdrawl symptoms and they're even worse then the "heart attack" symptoms i have at the moment.
i don't know anything about your addiction but in any case i'd reccomened you not to take that Vicodin. take to your doc and see if he can give you an alternative medication which you won't get hooked on.
Lost-n-Found
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Cairo
Posts: 923
Hi and welcome,
I especially agree with what Gmoney said. I would also add that you could leave it at that for now. Further down along the steps, which I assume and hope you will be travelling, you might look back at this time and reflect. I know a friend who knocked a month off his clean time because it kept bothering him. He told me: "The disease was humiliating me, whispering crap in my ear.I decided to tell it: Take your month and shove it."
He's almost 4 years clean now.
I especially agree with what Gmoney said. I would also add that you could leave it at that for now. Further down along the steps, which I assume and hope you will be travelling, you might look back at this time and reflect. I know a friend who knocked a month off his clean time because it kept bothering him. He told me: "The disease was humiliating me, whispering crap in my ear.I decided to tell it: Take your month and shove it."
He's almost 4 years clean now.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Spidey - after reading what you've written I do not personally think you suffered a relapse, mostly because I don't think you tried to 'get high' in that particular instance. Just my opinion for all it's worth.
Retired Pro Drunk
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
If a narcotic is taken without a prescription, it's illegal. That's a fairly slippery slope to be on, obtaining drugs illegally, regardless of use.
Is it a relapse? If it were me, I would consider it to be one. I have a history of what I call "back door" relapses with alcohol that have started with narcotics. With me, the narcotics open the door.
Is it a relapse? If it were me, I would consider it to be one. I have a history of what I call "back door" relapses with alcohol that have started with narcotics. With me, the narcotics open the door.
Obsessed Pug Momma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Probably at Wal-Mart
Posts: 1,331
Hi Spidyangel,
I'm with Suki and the others who are telling you it depends on motive. Taking meds not prescribed for you, even with a legitimate reason in your opinion, is certainly treading on dangerous ground, but isn't neccessarily a relapse. In addition to asking yourself if it was to get high or to get relief, I'll offer another question for you to consider: Did you (hypothetically) take the Vicoden because you COULD justify it or because you HAD to take it? I have a medical procedure coming up in a week. When my doctor and I discussed meds for the surgery and he suggested some things that would be mood-altering, I immediately said to him that I'm a recovering addict, that I haven't used anything in 7 years, but that anything mood-altering still poses a great risk to my recovery. We then discussed each med, found an alternative for one that isn't mood-altering, and for the other one, he had to explain to me why I couldn't go without it. Then i came straight home and called my sponsor to make plans with her for handling of the pills and to make arrangements for "what if" something goes wrong and I end up having more major surgery. So this is an example of how I could have justified taking the opiate, but did not need it and was able to find a non mood-altering solution.
MUST you take something mood-altering or can you simply justify doing so? It's a question that has probably saved my ass a few times.
Hugs for your courage in posing this question :-)
I'm with Suki and the others who are telling you it depends on motive. Taking meds not prescribed for you, even with a legitimate reason in your opinion, is certainly treading on dangerous ground, but isn't neccessarily a relapse. In addition to asking yourself if it was to get high or to get relief, I'll offer another question for you to consider: Did you (hypothetically) take the Vicoden because you COULD justify it or because you HAD to take it? I have a medical procedure coming up in a week. When my doctor and I discussed meds for the surgery and he suggested some things that would be mood-altering, I immediately said to him that I'm a recovering addict, that I haven't used anything in 7 years, but that anything mood-altering still poses a great risk to my recovery. We then discussed each med, found an alternative for one that isn't mood-altering, and for the other one, he had to explain to me why I couldn't go without it. Then i came straight home and called my sponsor to make plans with her for handling of the pills and to make arrangements for "what if" something goes wrong and I end up having more major surgery. So this is an example of how I could have justified taking the opiate, but did not need it and was able to find a non mood-altering solution.
MUST you take something mood-altering or can you simply justify doing so? It's a question that has probably saved my ass a few times.
Hugs for your courage in posing this question :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: WI
Posts: 14
Thanks to all for their input regarding this matter. I just wanted to let all of you know that I did NOT take anything (only ibuprofen) and have thought long and hard whether I would ever want to in the future, should an unfortunate circumstance arise that I would need pain relief. My sponsor and I talk often (and candidly) regarding this hypothetical situation. If the time ever comes when I am actually faced with a similar scenario, she would be the first person I would consult. Then my doctor...but I would feel more confident about my conversation with the doctor if I had talked with her first. She really does give me a lot of strength, hope, support, guidance, and encouragement. Kudos to her....You know who you are girl!! 
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