anew sponsee
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: CAIRO, EGYPT
Posts: 71
anew sponsee
hello all, i am back to the forum, will be celebrating 3 yrs clean tommorrow, feels greaat, na gave me a new life, i need some help, i just took a new sponsee, and he is coming back from a relapse, when he was in step 7, now do i ask him to go back to step one, and we work the steps all over again, or what do i do, he is willing to give it a second shot, or may be third, appreciate suggestions from old timers.
havea great day.
havea great day.
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
This is very encouraging news, thank you for being in loving service!! 
Have you talked about it with your sponsor? With your sponsorship brothers?
Personaly, i listen and watch how a new sponsee acts. i ask simple questions, give simple suggestions, and wait for more to be revealed. On a few occasions, i have felt the need to give someone who relapsed a writing assignment (i am going to try to send this to you in a PM shortly). i find it more helpful and productive to the people i sponsor to just be available. i guide them thru the 12 Steps & 12 Traditions, and they also guide me in new ways to apply what i have learned. We grow together and develope love & acceptance for each other. we make progress togather and learn from each other how better to be of service. Sponsorship is, and always should be, a two way street.
Have you talked about it with your sponsor? With your sponsorship brothers?
Personaly, i listen and watch how a new sponsee acts. i ask simple questions, give simple suggestions, and wait for more to be revealed. On a few occasions, i have felt the need to give someone who relapsed a writing assignment (i am going to try to send this to you in a PM shortly). i find it more helpful and productive to the people i sponsor to just be available. i guide them thru the 12 Steps & 12 Traditions, and they also guide me in new ways to apply what i have learned. We grow together and develope love & acceptance for each other. we make progress togather and learn from each other how better to be of service. Sponsorship is, and always should be, a two way street.
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
Hey Bob, welcome back and congrats on your 3 years!!
Well Bob, as you know...everyone does things a bit differently and I'd be the last to tell you what to do...but I will share with you what I've done in similar situations.
When I've taken on new sponsees who return from a relapse, we always start from the beginning...meaning the Symbol and Step 1. It is my belief and understanding that relapsers have either forgotten they're powerless or glossed over the second admission. Re-doing the 1st Step after a relapse is about surrender and admitting complete defeat, and it is also my belief that when our foundation is solid (Steps 1 thru 3) relapse is not an option.
G
Well Bob, as you know...everyone does things a bit differently and I'd be the last to tell you what to do...but I will share with you what I've done in similar situations.
When I've taken on new sponsees who return from a relapse, we always start from the beginning...meaning the Symbol and Step 1. It is my belief and understanding that relapsers have either forgotten they're powerless or glossed over the second admission. Re-doing the 1st Step after a relapse is about surrender and admitting complete defeat, and it is also my belief that when our foundation is solid (Steps 1 thru 3) relapse is not an option.
G
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
comment on what G-money said....
interesting about starting with the symbol....my sponsor had me write about the symbol at the beginning also...and that is the same way I suggest others start too.
Bobmatic:
Congrats on 3 years and welcome back! I agree with talking to your sponsor about it, and since you are asking here....I'd ask the person seeking recovery what they are willing to do. Consider yourself if you had relapsed what would your sponsor have you do AND what would you feel you needed in that situation? Yes we are all different...only in this situation I personally wouldn't suggest to anyone anything any different that what would help me in similar circumstances. Let them know what you would do then let them decide for themselves. Afterall, their recovery is their responsibility.
I know if I used....I'd start at the beginning.
Peace,
Missy
interesting about starting with the symbol....my sponsor had me write about the symbol at the beginning also...and that is the same way I suggest others start too.
Bobmatic:
Congrats on 3 years and welcome back! I agree with talking to your sponsor about it, and since you are asking here....I'd ask the person seeking recovery what they are willing to do. Consider yourself if you had relapsed what would your sponsor have you do AND what would you feel you needed in that situation? Yes we are all different...only in this situation I personally wouldn't suggest to anyone anything any different that what would help me in similar circumstances. Let them know what you would do then let them decide for themselves. Afterall, their recovery is their responsibility.
I know if I used....I'd start at the beginning.
Peace,
Missy
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