afin3mess

Hi all,
Hope everyone is doing well in their journeys towards sobriety/recovery. I joined the forum not because I am an addict however my fiance is addicted to cocaine in various forms. Yesterday morning he left for rehab. In the two years that we've been engaged I've hardly ever been away from him and now he's gone for the next 34 days and I'm just looking for some support.

-Me

ANGELINA243

Welcome! Glad you are here. You may want to post something also in the Friends/Family--substance abuse forum as well. There you will find support from people who have been where you are/dealt with what you are going through. Welcome! You are not alone. (I am an alcoholic/addict in recovery and if there is anything I can do to help....just let me know.)

BassFamily

thank you

sailorjohn

Welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.

BassFamily

:thankyouforhavingonlinebecauseineedsosuppor ticannotdothisbymyself iamjusttwoweeksclean.ihavesixyearoldgirlthatneedsm eandaprettywifewholovesme.iamallearsforrecvery.

BassFamily

:prayingthankyou

CNVIOLA

I can really relate to you, my live in boyfriend of 9 months is leaving monday for detox, we have never been apart and I am very scared. He battles with heroin/pain pills. He is a wonderful person and this has been hard on the both of us. This is his 3rd time in recovery and our 5th relaps as a couple. I am not an addict or alcoholic, I have given up drinking 100 percent we live in a alcohol free home even guests cannot bring a bottle of wine for dinner or anything, I do this to make it easier for him. I know its really hard on you to be away from him, but you are helping him more than you know by just supporting him and backing him on his recovery. He needs you a lot right now, and this is a selfish addiction, as I have learned in meetings, it kind of has to be about them and getting them clean at whatever cost. My boyfriends brother is an addict as well and his wife has made his recovery really difficult for him, she does not like when he is in a program or a detox, and selfishly accuses him of cheating and forces him to leave the program and come home to her, and that is not only insane but very very unhealthy for him and ultimately their marriage. He has to fix the problem and himself in order to move on with the two of them and his life in sobriety, and rather than putting him down, she needs to pick him up even if shes sad or hurt. I have found that when I am there for my boyfriend, he makes awesome choices and he has decided this all on his own. Im not sure if your fiance has decided on his own, but thats an awesome first step and very positive. You have to think about how great it will be that you are strong enough to be there for him and continue on with your day to day routine while hes gone and not collapse, even if you feel you might. From my experience in listening to other womens stories, being there 100 percent when they are gone, you know they are safe and getting help they are making a change, and when youre happy and supportive and you listen and not bring them down or belittle them because of their mistakes it really helps. Just keep your head up and look to the big picture, your wedding and your life together when he is doing the right thing. And if you drink, just my oppinion, I would keep the house free of alcohol, a lot of addicts think that drinking is not a drug but it is, and can lead to relapse, that has been our problem. Im really glad you joined, I just did also, I hope I helped in some way or form! Keep your head up you have a lot of people behind YOU too, youre not ALONE!!!!

CNVIOLA

Angelina, I am not an addict but my boyfriend is, we live together and he is leaving for detox monday, we really have struggled hard with his heroin/pills addiction. He has never been sober for longer than six months, and I am really scared. Hes done detox, holding program for the past 5 years, and like I said its never really worked. He has not ever shot heroin since we have been together but he has sniffed it and also got badly into perks and oxys, he feels that because he hasnt put a needle in his arm hes ok, but trust me he sniffs about 3-4 pills and he has the same effect, terrible nodding out, drooling, anger one second then happy then babbeling the next. He now realizes the problem and wants to do something about it. He has been doing this since 25 he is now 30, all of his brothers are addicts, one is two years clean the other a year just out of a jail program and now on his own, we are hoping for the best, the youngest brother is still running badly. I have no one to talk to, I am very nervous, I tried tough love, tried going to meetings with him, i listen and talk to him all the time, I have read about it, ect. I lost my uncle to heroin overdose in 2000, my cousin just passed in january he was 22 same thing my best friends mother in 2005. I am really scared he seems like he wants it, I know I cant fix him, he has put me through hell beyond hell do you have any tips for me? Anything that has helped you that a loved one did? Thanks for listening, you should be really proud of yourself, I wish you all of the best in your recovery!!