ks_desperate

I am at my wits end

My daughter has ODD and is bi-polar, I do not know what to do any more I am at the point where we have to seek outside placement...again. Last year we were ready to have her placed, instead we sent her to a treatment center where she was diagnosed with ODD. She came home with Lithium for her Bi-polar disorder. Things were going well until about a month ago. I swear she lost her mind...but we know the truth..ODD. She is 15 and due to the age, she thinks she knows it all anyway, but she goes above and beyond what is expected of a "normal" teen. I have sent her to "her corner" and I have gone to mine, but she follows me...yelling and screaming all the way. She is especially bad when my husband is gone. I lock myself in my room and she will stand at my door and scream at me for 5 minutes. We do rewards, time- ins, respite care, movie night...you name it, and it still hasn't done much good. Tonight I heard about weighted blankets for the first time. What I want to know is...do they work, and where can I get one at a reasonable cost? Suggestions anyone????? I am ready to pull my hair out....help!!!

shutterbug

What's ODD and what are weighted blankets?

historyteach

ODD is oppositional defiant disorder, and it's certainly a tough one to deal with. Here's a link explaining it. http://www.emedicine.com/PED/topic2791.htm

KS, I cannot say anything about weigted blankets, but, here's a link on how to make one. It shouldn't be too expensive, in case it doesn't work...
http://www.ont-autism.uoguelph.ca/blanket.html

I wish you luck. And btw, welcome to SR!
Shalom!

shutterbug

Wow HistoryTeach!! Thanks!!

Is it possible for adults to have ODD??? Because, OMGosh, like this TOTALLY describes my brother-in-law (who is soon to be an ex-BIL if he doesn't change his tude)!!!

"The following 3 classes of behavior are hallmarks of both oppositional and conduct problems: (1) noncompliance with commands; (2) emotional overreaction to life events, no matter how small; and (3) failure to take responsibility for one's own actions"

shutterbug

Okay, so now I know what weighted blankets are.....but I still don't understand how they can help with Desperate's daughter?

(((((((Desperate)))))))))) Welcome to SR!!!!!!!!!!!

(sorry, i'm a little behind with my welcome shout)

I'm bipolar, by-the-way, and a night owl...and a mental health information junkie....so thanks for your thread because i've already learned something i'd never heard of.

Obviously since i'm not familiar with ODD....it don't know any experienced suggestions to give you. I think going and locking yourself in your room is an excellent idea! Do you have a stereo in there or head phones where you can just tune out her verbal abuse? What about taking away a reward or movie night for every time you have to retreat to your bedroom to get away from her yelling?

What about before her dad leaves.....he tells her that "x" will happen if she treats you bad while he's gone?

Is see seeing a therapist every week?
What about buying her as many books about ODD and bipolar as you can get your hands on and letting her read about her own illnesses on her own time....no pushing...just, "Hey... here's some information about your diagnosises if you want to read about them and about other people who have had the same things".....or just leave the books lying around in various places where she can pick one up any time and read about it.

Guess the reason why i say that is because with my 2 major depression episodes....I've gotten really irritable....and always take it out on the people who are closest to me emotionally (my mom and my sister). The first episode i had no clue what i was doing to them. My sister just told me that i had become a different person and she didn't understand why....(well, actually i was on phen-phen at the time and she thought it was to blame and started yelling at me to stop taking them). But this time around, i could put a name to what was going on with me and i started researching as much as i could about bipolar and depression....still am. But i learned about my rages and i was able to tell my mom, sister and even some friends, that it's not me it's my illness acting out when i become "that" person and for them not to take it personally. Even me knowing i do it....sometimes i still do it without realizing and several days or weeks later my mom will say something to me about it and tell me what i did and then i can appologize to her. And sometimes, because i'm learning to recognize my own illness.....I am able to completely stop myself before i say anything, or if i've just said something i can immediately appologize.

My mom's a real sensitive soul so i try my best to catch myself and stop before i go off on her because she worries about my depression so much that she won't even say that it bothered her....she'll just get off the phone with me and start crying.

Anyway....i'm just saying that....probably the more your daughter can understand her own illnesses, the better things will probably be because she will start taking an active interest in her behavior around others....i would think anyway. I, of course, could be WAY, totally off since i only know what i read a few minutes ago about ODD.

No matter what....i hope and pray that you find some real answers that will help both of you out.

Hugs,
Jenna

P.S. I think the best thing you can try to do is take care of yourself first. Make sure you take some time just for you and do stress-relieving things. I've got a great relaxation CD that i'd be happy to send you a copy of to listen to at bedtime if you want. It helps with stress....and so does simple deep breathing excersizes throughout the day.

Let me know if i can help in anyway!

ks_desperate

You all are so awesome!!!! I guesss that in despair, I never thought of all this. Making one seems simple...instead of the 80-100 dollars others charge. Never thought about relaxation tapes. When she starts, I just cry..never thought about headphones. She sees a therapist bi-weekly because we live so far away form the clinic...and with gas prices we can't afford to take her weekly. Oh, before I forget...thank you all for your welcomes I am bi-polar myself...along with 4 other women in my family...so I really understand where you are coming from as far as your episodes...I have them too. DO you have short term memory loss??? Are you on any meds that work well??? I am on Lithium and that is very hard on my body.

shutterbug

Wow 5 Bipolar women! Dear you MUST stick around here and visit often because lord knows we could use your wisdom.

I'm on month 14 of this major/atypical depression episode (but it looks like i'm having a little hypomanic break since i've been up all night and on this computer for something like 12 hours straight now...LOL)

What's the longest major depression episode that any of you have had? I mean, I've been dealing with depression for 8 years now, but it was kick-started by a major depression that lasted almost a year....then 7 years of low-grade depression....then boom, like clockwork, after seven years here's major depression No. 2. I'm guessing that this MD will last about twice as long as the first one, but i'm still holding out hope for finding a good med combo to help.

When all this started last Aug I had the WORST short-term memory losses. I once had to drive 10 miles to a baseball game for work and on the way there.....i literally "woke up" FIVE TIMES and had to stop and think real hard about it was i was driving to!!!!! I had totally forgotten!

Boy, 5 bipolars in one family....i bet ya'll flip a coin or something to see who's gunna drive! Us bipolars just don't drive very well....have you noticed that? I'm either too depressed to notice everything that's going on or I'm so manic that i'm lost in thought and don't pay attention to my driving....LOL

I've been on the med rollercoaster this year. Currently am on 300 mg Welbutrin, 900 Lithium, am weaning off of Cymbalta, and take Visteril as needed for anxiety or sleep. Well...this med situation has been the case since last Friday. I've never been on lithium before and so far it has me drinking a gallon of liquid everyday, but worse is having to go to the bathroom 20-30 times a day and having all the stomach troubles.

OH....I almost forgot! BACA!!!!!!!!! I love BACA!!!!!!!!!!
I was introduced to a rather large group on a couple of occasions for my job and some of em' scared the daylights outta me...LOL....some of the women are more frightening than the guys. I'm a photojournalist you see....and some BACA members don't want their photos taken...right? right. Well, they wanted us to really heavily cover this fund-raising event last year. Well my editor decided he wanted to do a photo spread with plans to possibly do a photo gallory on the web....well....i was trying to get some motion-type (blurred shots) of several members heading out on their bikes and this one lady saw me and threatened to beat me up and tear up my brand-new, company owned (very expensive) camera if i took a pic of her....LOL. I don't do well with confrontations so it got my heart to pounding Anyway....i want to do a book someday on BACA...with real life stories and real life situational photos, but i'll have a lot of work to do to convience a chapter that they can trust me enough to let me become an "honorary" member of sorts. Anyway....sorry....didn't mean to go off on such a huge tangent. Just really wanted to say "thumbs up"

Hugs,
Jenna

pedagogue

Yes and no. Often they get reclassified as Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD).

Instead of reinventing the wheel, I just copied and pasted the Diagnostic Descriptions of ODD and APD from www.mentalhealth.com, which is an excellent resource that listed DSM-IV-TR (the diagnostic manual for clinicians)

Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria

1. A repetitive and persistent pattern of behavior in which the basic rights of others or major age-appropriate societal norms or rules are violated, as manifested by the presence of three (or more) of the following criteria in the past 12 months, with at least one criterion present in the past 6 months:

.....Aggression to people and animals
..........1. often bullies, threatens, or intimidates others
..........2. often initiates physical fights
..........3. has used a weapon that can cause serious physical harm to others (e.g., a bat, brick, broken bottle, knife, gun)
..........4. has been physically cruel to people
..........5. has been physically cruel to animals
..........6. has stolen while confronting a victim (e.g., mugging, purse snatching, extortion, armed robbery)
..........7. has forced someone into sexual activity

.....Destruction of property
..........8. has deliberately engaged in fire setting with the intention of causing serious damage
..........9. has deliberately destroyed others' property (other than by fire setting)

.....Deceitfulness or theft
..........10. has broken into someone else's house, building, or car
..........11. often lies to obtain goods or favors or to avoid obligations (i.e., "cons" others)
..........12. has stolen items of nontrivial value without confronting a victim (e.g., shoplifting, but without breaking and entering; forgery)

.....Serious violations of rules
..........13. often stays out at night despite parental prohibitions, beginning before age 13 years
..........14. has run away from home overnight at least twice while living in parental or parental surrogate home (or once without returning for a lengthy period)
..........15. is often truant from school, beginning before age 13 years

2. The disturbance in behavior causes clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning.

3. If the individual is age 18 years or older, criteria are not met for Antisocial Personality Disorder.


Antisocial Personality Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria

1. There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:
.....1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
.....2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
.....3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
.....4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
.....5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others
.....6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
.....7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

2. The individual is at least age 18 years.

3. There is evidence of Conduct Disorder with onset before age 15 years.

4. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia or a Manic Episode.

ks_desperate

Jenna, I have been bi-polar since I can remember....but I was dx in 1996. I have tried most of the medicines on the market to try to find a combo that works for me. No luck. Just when I had found the best medicine...lithium, I found out it wasn't the best for me. I went to my doctor today...and she is awesome btw, and she gave me Lamictal. I am willing to try new things... since the old ones don't work. do a search on this one...what I have found, it seems like it has potential for me. I have been up and down, 5 marriages....4 failed ones....and now I am back on the slide...especially being stressed out by my daughter. I have a lot on my plate to keep my mind off all of that anyway... with BACA and all. I am the web mistress for my chapter in Kansas, the historian for all of the events we are involved in inside ks, a mother of 4, and a wife. Yeah biker chicks can be intimidating... but I can sympathize with you because I am a photographer...kinda...myself. I hate to have my pic taken...so I am behind the camera. What state do you live in?

Don W

Can't talk tonight. My prayers are with you. I'll post reply in morning.

shutterbug

Kinda doesn't give me much hope since you've been at the med rollarcoaster for nearly 10 years now!

I was on Lamictal for quite a while and my doc just took me off it last week. It was okay....just not enough for me i guess. I don't know....i get so confused about being able to tell if ANY of them do ANY thing for me at all. I mean, i could tell that my moods did stabalize pretty well....i could still feel the daily fluctuations from high to low, but they didn't go very far up or usually very much farther down (than what i was already at). But of course, when your already at the bottom of the barrel there's not much further down you can go anyway.

So what's the longest Maj. Dep. episode anyone in your family has had??????????? Or do you guys mostly struggle with the manias rather than the depressions?

ks_desperate

I know I was depressed for the majority of the time of a marriage that lasted 5 years. But I cannot pinpoint the exact length of time that I was in a depressive state.

Don W

Welcome ks, I don't know much about this but, as you can see other do. These are the times that I simply offer prayers and encouragement and let those that know do their part. Part of my God given wisdom to know the difference I guess.

ks_desperate

Don't give up for any reason. Let me tell you... I have been throught he ringer, but there is hope...research going on and new medicines coming all the time. I have gone into the clinic after searching the net with 10 to 12 meds on my list and come out with a different combo..then another year another and another. Still have not found it..but I want a good life for my family, so I keep trying. You sound so well adjusted and together... I am hoping that I will be one day. I deserve a good life...and so does anyone with this stinking disorder.
I live day by day like so many ohters.. and Jenna...if I can do it...you can do it.


Kay

shutterbug

LOL....I say that all the time when people want to take my pic for whatever reason. But I feel like such a hypocrite b/c here i am going around with my camera trying to "sneak" up on people at events to get real life expressions (especially with kids....who most of the time will otherwise stare straight at the camera and smile....and sometimes at the coaching of their parents....grrrr...makes my job difficult Anyway....public place and I can get your face....LOL. Nobody really ever minds once they find out it's for the paper. Boy once though, this old lady threatened me if i didn't stop taking pictures of her shed burning. I had to tell her that i was standing on public property....so there....deal with it. (we think she had set it on fire herself for insurance reasons....lol....only reason we could think that she would get that irrate....lol)

boy do i like to jabber about nothin...lol....it's getting late and i'm getting loopy

shutterbug

Peda.....BTW thanks so very, very much for all the wonderful info! (sorry i'm a bit tardy on the thanking)

((((((ks desperate))))))
OMGosh....I just realized that you added my name and those little smilies to your signature! WOW --- what a compliment. Thank you so much....i'm actually speechless...

shutterbug

LOL....I have this God-given gift to to be able to put myself in a different frame of mind than my own. I guess it comes partly from working as a reporter for 3 years and having to detach any personal thoughts and feelings from my writing....totally unbiased...know what I mean. Like imagine having one of those "worst day of your life" kind of days and yet you still have to sit down at a desk and write a "feel good" happy story about 4 girls running a lemonade stand or a little girl returning some money she found or anything up-beat. I never really thought about it much, but i guess it's kinda like i flip a switch in my brain and no matter what's going on in my life i can write and sould "together" i guess. That's where i put myself when i'm writing in other people's threads 99 percent of the time. And then again, i do have my "good" days where my brain decides it wants to function. Right now is not one of those times...because everything is cloudy and confusing. I feel good...have for the past day or so...just having a hard time putting thoughts together properly. Anyway....I guess you could say that I try to put on my "positive/recovery" face for others. When I journal in my own thread it's almost always me whining about life and my depression.

Anyway....HOW'S THINGS GOING WITH YOUR DAUGHTER?????

I must make myself lay down and go to sleep now because my eyes are drew-ping (dang it, i don't know how to spell that....i thought droping, or drooping, or drouping....heck, i dunno...grrr)

Anyway, let us know how things are going.

Hugs,
Jenna

OCEANANGEL

Dear ks desperate...Please forgive me ...I am still learning how to use this system...and lost my last message...I think...I am facing a situation with my daughter who appears to have a "mood disorder"....violent temper tantrums...anxiety, depression....
And she is in line to be placed in a relatively high level mental health group home here in California...she is in a hospital now...for 2 months this run...and has only been calm now for a few days...Can you tell me anything about group homes?
Thanks,
~OceanAngel

shutterbug

for some reason....i can only see the first 10 responses in this thread??????? I don't understand.

abbiegrrl

OK, for the ODD-type stuff, how come nobody has mentioned Risperdal? My 12-y-o was about to be "placed" in a boys home about a year ago, and now after being placed on Risperdal, about 5 (?) mg once or twice a day, he is much more able and likely to contain the ADHD and act like he has SOME sense. (Sheesh, the mania just goes ON and on and on!!!)
Anyway, Dr. said it's not KNOWN to be the best, or perhaps even recommended for youngens, but it's made it possible for my boy to remain in school, and in the correct grade, SO FAR.
Any more info on Risperdal, I'd like to hear it. BUT it's been a God-send.