tink360

hey everyone im doing great...i havent had any problems with my panic attacks in awhile and it feels good...ive been keeping very busy with school and putting in over time with work...havent been on the computer much but i wanted to check in and let you guys know i was doing well

amymarie

(((((Tink))))
Thanks for checking in!!!

Today was another pretty good day. It was filled up and that helps to keep me focused..
However, I am feeling a tad clingy and codie....but I will work on that now...
I hope everyone is having a good evening...

Don W

anne, This is all about progress. Talking about it is the first step. I think understanding has given me the most grouth. Also, understanding allows for a process of processing what I've learned. If, that makes sense. I only have to go the speed at which I can process and understand that moment. By doing this I deal with the past but, remain in today. I can tell you that it can't be rushed and won't be rushed. My mind will only release so much, then shuts down. Sometimes for hours sometimes days and sometimes longer. You see we have to learn and teach our minds what we come to understand. This takes awhlie. Many of us have had the wrong lessons pounded into out heads for years. The good news is I've learned is we don't need the whole lesson to feel good. Our new lives and thoughts are like a flower garden. The garden has flowers that bloom at different seasons making for year round enjoyment.

amymarie

Day 4 or 5 without any...any...FB.

We are going on vacation to San Francisco where we will meet up with a friend that we met here on SR....
Pushed through the hardest moments (I hope)...now getting that reward I kept requesting from my HP.
I have been a tad tired...kind of like I ran a marathon for a few days and am just now slowing down, but I think it will pass soon...each day isnt as bad as the day before.
thanks for being a part of my journey...

splendra

(((((amymarie)))))

You sound so good!! I am so proud of you!!!

indigo

When I first joined SR I wrote out most of the things I've gone through, not in any graphic detail. I was a victim then and an infant, thanks to my great therapist I am now an adult survivor.....it gives me so much pleasure and pride to be able to say that. I look forward to you finding peace....love yourself you are worth it.

love indigo

shutterbug

Amymarie....pics look different here on my sis' computer than they do on my one at home. Your signiture pic looked scary on my home computer, but now it just looks like a sweet little green girl....did it change? am i halucinating? or are these 2 computers just that different?

Super glad to hear how well things have been going for you! I too had a scary panic attack once while driving in rush-hour traffic on a 5-lane highway. I thought i was gunna crash for sure, but i did some deep breathing exersices and it passed in a couple of minutes.

Have you gotten the relaxation CD in the mail yet? I can't remember when i sent it off.

Anyway....i'm going back to sleep now....will talk to you laters.

Lots of hugs,
Jenna

wolflet

hello all

AMY- so glad you started this thread brave grrrl, was wondering what would happen when it dissapeared

DON- thank you, many men will not speak so openly, honestlyy & supportivaly of their own abuse

everyone & all we need all the brave, peacefull (angry) warriors we can get in this circle, i believe it's a root of many problems & especially those of addiction.......i've been out for a week or 2 & don't have the energy to read every word right now, but have skimed & i applaude all of us....i too have sexual abuse in my past.......thank you for the thread.........we can help each other heal.....part of why i have been gone is a healing crisis that has in part (or maybe all) to do with this piece of my past.....my body is finally letting go of that pain on a cellular level.........i believe we hold our hurt not only emotinaly but physicaly.......i'm haveing the pain come out right now in very painful boils ( on my butt.thanks!!!) it's one of the last (i hope) pockets of this, tho i know i will face issues again & agian still......but (ha!) i feel that i am finally getting out some of the really deep sH!t that got handed me & trapped in my body,,,,,,does this make sense,,,,,,hope i am clear, still a bit feverish from the infection so ask if anything doesn't make sense

anyway......glad there are other brave souls out here, keep on hanging on!.....

amymarie

Everything seems to be running along smoothly- dare I speak too soon....

but...gotta share this happiness inside since all I have been sharing is so dark and gloomy, and halloween is over!

The vacation was exactly what I needed...I had one teeny weeny flashback...it was insignificant; it meant nothing to me...just as quickly as it came, it left.

There is so much to do now that we are home from San Fran, and it is so nice to have the ability to make a list and follow it- to be up and out of bed early - to have a smile for no reason at all....
todays journey is better than yesterdays journey (well, except for yesterday i was in San Fran) hehe.
thanks to everyone for all of your support!

wolflet

today, for no reason either i rode my bike to work with a smile on my face!

amymarie

My father still lives here in Texas, and now I am so happy to be moving away from him. I really think it will help. But just for the record, I am still doing rather well on this journey- no FB in a very long time!

amymarie

Feeling rather good today. I have been so busy living that I havent had time to let the darkness in...only light today....I know I am a strong woman, but I also kinow that with each day I grow a little stronger....! I dont think I could have said that a month ago....

quercusalba

*SO* good, Amymarie! You do get stronger every day - I've found that to be true too, if I'm being vigilant in my journey through life. I have to pay attention to things, and be proactive instead of reactive... and I've been learning how to do that better.

Thank you for this thread.

amymarie

((((anne))))

Yes...I am getting stronger... my mind is almost mine again! It is amazing what time can mend...

njriverman

I too am an incest survivor from my step mother when I was 13 and 14. The sad thing is I wanted it so, and at times still crave it.

Sexaholics Anonymous meetings have helped me a lot. Many members are those that suffered "the vampire bite" of a perpetrator, yet want to come out into the light to dispell the disease.

Paul in NJ