Twelvecans

I have *a lot* of suppressed emotions as I grew up with an abusive parent, and if I showed emotions then I was abused even more so I bottled up years of fear and pain and grief, and it’s all hiding inside me today.

I’m not in touch with my emotions on a daily, but I do experience an almost godlike anger if I for some reason is triggered by something. This happens rarely, and I have usually subdued the anger with alcohol, turning the anger into melancholy. But now I’m sober and don’t know what to do.

What can I do? Talking to someone won’t help. I need some type of relief.

Astro

Hmmm, well, I have a lot of tools that I use for dealing with my emotions, but the most important of them do involve talking to others who are similar to me. So I attend AA meetings, Bible studies, church, and talk to my sponsor. I also pray, meditate, read, eat healthy, and exercise. I guess I'm kind of complicated in needing all those things to deal with resentment, anger, and other emotions, but that's what works for me. Some folks in recovery require medications, I would speak to a doctor if you feel that's what you need.

Twelvecans

Yeah, I once asked my doctor if there were any medication for anger, but sadly there were none.

Astro

Fresh air and sunshine, even a good hike. That relaxes me and takes away all the anger.

Twelvecans

You are right about exercise. I’m kinda stuck in limbo at the moment, I’m having physical issues that prevents me from doing it. Man, I miss running.

Astro

I don't know what your situation is, but for me it doesn't have to be strenuous cardio, my goal for every day is 10k steps. I work concerts and sporting events in the evenings and weekends as a side job so that usually keeps me active with walking around. I also work a full time government desk job, on my breaks I get outside and walk circles around the facility. I find that sometimes when I'm stagnant the "stinking thinking" sets in, it's during those times that prayer and meditation are so critical for my mental health and recovery. Any form of movement and a good diet also keeps the arthritis, inflammation, and lack of energy at bay.

Twelvecans

I work a government desk job too, hah!

But, I’m mostly bedridden these days. Zero energy and lots of discomfort. I’m having a CT this week, and a colonoscopy in the beginning of next month. I should try to go for a walk now and then, but I just end up lying in bed, listening to music and resting.

DragonbytheSea

Hi TwelveCans. I have Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and it sounds like you might too.

The book "CPTSD: From Surviving Thriving" saved my life. The author is one of us, and his work is solid.

There are a ton of gems in the book, but Chapter nine has a bunch of emergency methods.

Here is a link to some of them:

Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

Hang in there. It gets better.