Guilt and repetitive thoughts
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 146
Guilt and repetitive thoughts
What do I do about this?
Constant feelings of guilt about past behavior and decisions, particularly in relation to my family.
Repetitive thoughts about what I "should" be doing with my life. Working out, eating better, leaving ABF, moving out of here, finding a different job, be more organized.
These thoughts go round and round in my head AM to PM.
I am going mad (madder).
Constant feelings of guilt about past behavior and decisions, particularly in relation to my family.
Repetitive thoughts about what I "should" be doing with my life. Working out, eating better, leaving ABF, moving out of here, finding a different job, be more organized.
These thoughts go round and round in my head AM to PM.
I am going mad (madder).
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
A good aim is to try and live in the moment. You can't change the past. Also be kind to yourself. Change your focus. It sounds like you are just focusing on the things that are wrong with your life. Maybe write a list of all the things which are good and for all the things you are grateful for. Sometimes a shift in perspective, though not always easy to achieve, is all we need 
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 480
Hi Kat,
I resonate with this kind of thinking and the cause/solution isn't necessarily one size fits all, IMO.
In my life, there are three reasons for the type of thinking you describe:
1. I'm feeling behind in life somehow and suddenly decide it's time to get all my shvt together, right away. I feel a sense of pressured urgency to fix it all, as soon as possible. Time's wasting, my life's passing me by, I need to get it together. My solution to this is a simple recipe for living that brings everything else into line. For me, it is the simple recipe of the 12-steps and the incredible grounding of the spirituality found within that program. Others find grounding in church, meditation, etc. For me, my grounding must come from my spiritual center, otherwise I can find no rhyme or reason and continue, flailing and panicked, to get my act together on too many fronts all at the same time.
2. I have done real harm that needs to be addressed. In this case, my own good conscience is trying to assist me in getting back to living from my core values. This is a good thing! But, prematurely, it can cause inner strife. What I've been doing is making a list of names/situations, so when those thoughts occur I add to my list with the inner commitment that I will address those things when the time comes. For me, it'll come when I hit step 9 (of the 12 steps). Many other spiritual traditions address cleaning up our bungles and mistakes of the past, but I just happen to use the one I've mentioned.
3. I have a basic belief in there that I can think myself out of my problems. This is very common in society since so many problems can benefit from intellectual scrutiny - my out of balance checkbook, how to organize my To Do list, writing a resume, etc. However, it can, as you describe, get into useless rumination. I use what's called Stop Thought. When the thought comes, inside my mind, I yell, "STOP!" and picture a great big red stop sign. Every time. NO arguing with the thought; a debate will always end in more rumination and I almost always lose, anyway. It takes practice - at first the thoughts pop right back up, but it starts to make a difference pretty quickly. If you're anything like me, don't be surprised to find that you might actually miss those thoughts eventually - it's normal to miss something you're used to, even if it's misery causing. There's also EFT which is very helpful for resolving repetitive, destructive thoughts. You can find information on that at thetappingsolution(dot)com.
So, for me, those are the causes and treatments I've learned for my whirling dervish mind.
Hope it helps.
I resonate with this kind of thinking and the cause/solution isn't necessarily one size fits all, IMO.
In my life, there are three reasons for the type of thinking you describe:
1. I'm feeling behind in life somehow and suddenly decide it's time to get all my shvt together, right away. I feel a sense of pressured urgency to fix it all, as soon as possible. Time's wasting, my life's passing me by, I need to get it together. My solution to this is a simple recipe for living that brings everything else into line. For me, it is the simple recipe of the 12-steps and the incredible grounding of the spirituality found within that program. Others find grounding in church, meditation, etc. For me, my grounding must come from my spiritual center, otherwise I can find no rhyme or reason and continue, flailing and panicked, to get my act together on too many fronts all at the same time.
2. I have done real harm that needs to be addressed. In this case, my own good conscience is trying to assist me in getting back to living from my core values. This is a good thing! But, prematurely, it can cause inner strife. What I've been doing is making a list of names/situations, so when those thoughts occur I add to my list with the inner commitment that I will address those things when the time comes. For me, it'll come when I hit step 9 (of the 12 steps). Many other spiritual traditions address cleaning up our bungles and mistakes of the past, but I just happen to use the one I've mentioned.
3. I have a basic belief in there that I can think myself out of my problems. This is very common in society since so many problems can benefit from intellectual scrutiny - my out of balance checkbook, how to organize my To Do list, writing a resume, etc. However, it can, as you describe, get into useless rumination. I use what's called Stop Thought. When the thought comes, inside my mind, I yell, "STOP!" and picture a great big red stop sign. Every time. NO arguing with the thought; a debate will always end in more rumination and I almost always lose, anyway. It takes practice - at first the thoughts pop right back up, but it starts to make a difference pretty quickly. If you're anything like me, don't be surprised to find that you might actually miss those thoughts eventually - it's normal to miss something you're used to, even if it's misery causing. There's also EFT which is very helpful for resolving repetitive, destructive thoughts. You can find information on that at thetappingsolution(dot)com.
So, for me, those are the causes and treatments I've learned for my whirling dervish mind.
Hope it helps.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
For some people the process of "grounding" helps slow or halt spinning thoughts. It can be done through a guided meditation (tons on youtube) or...a favorite of mine, is to go outside, and sit, or lay on the ground. Or take my shoes off and stand on a rock, or lay on a rock. Actually to ground and feel my place in the world/Universe. Like. here I am, a real solid thing, part of a physical world. That's real, a place I can operate from. All those other things are fleeting, subjective, etc etc, but me, a real part of a real world...whew, give me a sense of security that reaffirms my actual reality.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5
Hi-
For me when I have these thoughts I call it running a reel, like a movie, in my head. Things I've done, should have done, bad things that happened to me, etc. you know the drill. When I do this the worst, I find its when I have other stressors or meds are off and I was unable or unwilling to try and cope. I would self-medicate or just self-loathe with the reel until I can't take it or some outside force makes me stop it. Now I can stop the reel once it starts most of the time. I owe that to DBT and private therapy. Hope yours gets better soon.
For me when I have these thoughts I call it running a reel, like a movie, in my head. Things I've done, should have done, bad things that happened to me, etc. you know the drill. When I do this the worst, I find its when I have other stressors or meds are off and I was unable or unwilling to try and cope. I would self-medicate or just self-loathe with the reel until I can't take it or some outside force makes me stop it. Now I can stop the reel once it starts most of the time. I owe that to DBT and private therapy. Hope yours gets better soon.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5
I am not. Don't currently have health insurance, so I am lucky to get free psych and meds. I can't even see the therapists at the facility in my counties free mental health program because the waiting list is so long. But I did for one year in 2011 have a private psychologist work with me on it as much as I was willing and capable of doing so. It is something that I need lots more of, its very hard and intensive and at the time I was more resistant because I was such an addict. Now that I'm not using it would be easier for me to concentrate on.
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