hcatoni723

I have clinical depression with suicidal ideation. Am on Effexor abilify and remeron. Been clean 4 months and will always fear relapse....have to always be on guard and evaluate thinking constantly. Depression and anxiety disorder that goes along with it was my reason for picking up in the first place and my addiction almost killed me this time. I'm currently seeing a drug and alcohol councilor plus attending outpatient treatment for dual diagnosis. Plus attending meetings every day. Have a sponser and am getting ready to work the steps again. Hope something works this time because I just don't have any relapses left me

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JettBoy

I'm bipolar and addicted,I'm currently on risperdone which has been a godsend except for the weight gain. I don't think there are any of us who don't fear relapse,I do every day but I don't let it consume me,I just try and keep it in the day then I'm like,ok,I got through that 24 hours ,lets try for another. My partner is very knowledgable about my dual addiction and when I'm getting all freaked out about something he tells me to fall to the back of it,in other words,be aware of what your feeling but don't let it run your whole world or train of thought and know it will pass. It works if you think it through..it's not easy any of it but we can do it,research stuff about your situation,know your meds and what their purpose is and continue on a recovery path,I'm doing my step work as well with a sponser.its all good,we just have to let it be. I know my best day high doesn't compare to my worst day sober.its a disease but for me it's a choice ,I choose to pick up,take the pill or shoot the dope or I don't. We as addicts complicate things that's why then12 step programs so simple and it works if you work it as they say..keep your head up and continue to move forward. We are all here for you anytime you need to talk to someone who gets it...