A peice on why sucide is not the answer
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 28
A peice on why sucide is not the answer
I wrote this a few years back when I was just discharged from hospital after my 3rd attempt at suicide. I am 18 so this probably won't 'apply' to most of you, as you are all out of school, etc, but it does have the same meaning, please just replace school/college with work or whichever best fits.
If anyone is thinking of suicide, read this PLEASE
Are you thinking about suicide?
Thinking about how, if you killed yourself, nobody would care?
Think again.
If you kill yourself you will change somebodies world. That's right. They will see everything differently. Just hearing your name will burn their mind with memories. They wont be able to go near where you lived, even your town will hold memories. Listening to the radio they'll hear that song, remember,that song you sang with them once? They'll step past your locker every day and wonder why you are not there. Why are you not there??
Do you want to be responsible for your family members, the people who love you, crying every night? For your sisters or brothers losing part of who they are? Your suicide is going to effect most deeply those who care about you most. That's not right. One of your friends may break down, and just like you, their world will be dark. The pain you are in is awful, but why pass it on to hundreds of people around you, when you could try your hardest to work through it?
Your family will be paranoid. Suddenly everyone will be talking about them. Do you want to be known as 'the kid who killed themselves?' People you never knew will be crying when they hear what you've done. Yes, they will be effected. Everyone around you will stop and think ;; "was there something i could have done?" Suddenly the people of your world are dying with guilt. All those little hints you gave, they'll remember them. Oh yes, and it will torture them all the time.
Your friends will think of suicide. Your closest friends are likely to go into a depression like the one that claimed your life. How will they cope, without you? This will break them, for the rest of their lives. And lets not forget the people who will plan your funeral. Your closest friends and family picking out songs for you, photos of you. Crying all the night before, and all the day of your funeral. And all the night after. In fact, they will cry now more than you ever did. Could they have saved you?
They'll be angry. Oh yes. Why didn't you tell them? They loved you. And now it's too late. They'll be angry with you because they know, they know you could have gotten through it. Then they'll be angry with themselves because they may have been able to save you if only they knew.
And one day, one day years from now, they'll remember you. They will all still remember you. The girl that sat up the front of your class; she'll remember you. The bus driver you saw every morning; he'll remember you. That little girl you sat with on the bus once, The kid you leant money to at the shop, all your siblings friends, the people that you don't see, but that see you everyday they will all remember you. And every single one of them will wonder; why?
But imagine your family.
You are part of them. Without you, something is missing. If you killed yourself then part of them dies too. They are incomplete. Every family gathering will be missing something. The photos on the wall are suddenly all cold reminders of what you did.
Who goes through your bedroom? Who cleans out your locker? Who calls the school to tell them one of their students has died? .. Who tells the students? Who calls the funeral directors? Who arranges a coffin for you? Who calls your best friend to tell them you're dead??
Who finds you?
Please, there are other ways out. I know sometimes the struggle is very, very hard. But it's not worth giving up on life. Life is all we have, life is everything. Its the beautiful moments, and the sad ones. Please, don't give up on all those around you. You can make it through.
My teacher said this about her father, who committed suicide:
"I understand that the pain is overwhelming, but I will never forgive him for the pain he has caused others. It was just selfish. If you kill yourself you spread the suffering among thousands of people, it doesn't only affect those around you but everyone who has ever come in contact with you."
Please, keep fighting. You can get through this and see that there is life after what you're facing now. It may be hard, but you'll get there, and when you do you will appreciate it so much more. I understand that most people know that suicide effects others, but please keep this in mind if you're ever feeling so low. Give people the chance to help you.
Much Love.
If anyone is thinking of suicide, read this PLEASE
Are you thinking about suicide?
Thinking about how, if you killed yourself, nobody would care?
Think again.
If you kill yourself you will change somebodies world. That's right. They will see everything differently. Just hearing your name will burn their mind with memories. They wont be able to go near where you lived, even your town will hold memories. Listening to the radio they'll hear that song, remember,that song you sang with them once? They'll step past your locker every day and wonder why you are not there. Why are you not there??
Do you want to be responsible for your family members, the people who love you, crying every night? For your sisters or brothers losing part of who they are? Your suicide is going to effect most deeply those who care about you most. That's not right. One of your friends may break down, and just like you, their world will be dark. The pain you are in is awful, but why pass it on to hundreds of people around you, when you could try your hardest to work through it?
Your family will be paranoid. Suddenly everyone will be talking about them. Do you want to be known as 'the kid who killed themselves?' People you never knew will be crying when they hear what you've done. Yes, they will be effected. Everyone around you will stop and think ;; "was there something i could have done?" Suddenly the people of your world are dying with guilt. All those little hints you gave, they'll remember them. Oh yes, and it will torture them all the time.
Your friends will think of suicide. Your closest friends are likely to go into a depression like the one that claimed your life. How will they cope, without you? This will break them, for the rest of their lives. And lets not forget the people who will plan your funeral. Your closest friends and family picking out songs for you, photos of you. Crying all the night before, and all the day of your funeral. And all the night after. In fact, they will cry now more than you ever did. Could they have saved you?
They'll be angry. Oh yes. Why didn't you tell them? They loved you. And now it's too late. They'll be angry with you because they know, they know you could have gotten through it. Then they'll be angry with themselves because they may have been able to save you if only they knew.
And one day, one day years from now, they'll remember you. They will all still remember you. The girl that sat up the front of your class; she'll remember you. The bus driver you saw every morning; he'll remember you. That little girl you sat with on the bus once, The kid you leant money to at the shop, all your siblings friends, the people that you don't see, but that see you everyday they will all remember you. And every single one of them will wonder; why?
But imagine your family.
You are part of them. Without you, something is missing. If you killed yourself then part of them dies too. They are incomplete. Every family gathering will be missing something. The photos on the wall are suddenly all cold reminders of what you did.
Who goes through your bedroom? Who cleans out your locker? Who calls the school to tell them one of their students has died? .. Who tells the students? Who calls the funeral directors? Who arranges a coffin for you? Who calls your best friend to tell them you're dead??
Who finds you?
Please, there are other ways out. I know sometimes the struggle is very, very hard. But it's not worth giving up on life. Life is all we have, life is everything. Its the beautiful moments, and the sad ones. Please, don't give up on all those around you. You can make it through.
My teacher said this about her father, who committed suicide:
"I understand that the pain is overwhelming, but I will never forgive him for the pain he has caused others. It was just selfish. If you kill yourself you spread the suffering among thousands of people, it doesn't only affect those around you but everyone who has ever come in contact with you."
Please, keep fighting. You can get through this and see that there is life after what you're facing now. It may be hard, but you'll get there, and when you do you will appreciate it so much more. I understand that most people know that suicide effects others, but please keep this in mind if you're ever feeling so low. Give people the chance to help you.
Much Love.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Really powerful stuff, thanks for sharing!
Be well:-)
Edit - Ok was just going to say the above but...a person who i considered to be my best friend committed suicide when i was 21 and he the same, what you have written is alll true. His parents split, his sister was a total mess. He was incredibly good looking, could make Prince seem like a rubbish dancer (his party trick was the splits forward facing up and down without touching the floor lol). He used to go for walks up to the top of a famous cliff in the UK to think, one time he didn't come back. No warning, nothing!
I still feel i should have been a better friend to him, i remember nicking a girlfriend off of him, not returning his calls etc...38 now and i still think about him...his name was Shaun, just the coolest guy i have ever met!
Oh yeah i just remembered everyone thought we were brothers, which made me feel great cos he was the good looking one;-) And he seemed to like that too...i wish i had spent more time with him, still really hurts my heart if you know what i mean and it makes me feel angry too if i am honest.
Be well:-)
Edit - Ok was just going to say the above but...a person who i considered to be my best friend committed suicide when i was 21 and he the same, what you have written is alll true. His parents split, his sister was a total mess. He was incredibly good looking, could make Prince seem like a rubbish dancer (his party trick was the splits forward facing up and down without touching the floor lol). He used to go for walks up to the top of a famous cliff in the UK to think, one time he didn't come back. No warning, nothing!
I still feel i should have been a better friend to him, i remember nicking a girlfriend off of him, not returning his calls etc...38 now and i still think about him...his name was Shaun, just the coolest guy i have ever met!
Oh yeah i just remembered everyone thought we were brothers, which made me feel great cos he was the good looking one;-) And he seemed to like that too...i wish i had spent more time with him, still really hurts my heart if you know what i mean and it makes me feel angry too if i am honest.
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
You are so right. My mom committed suicide when I was 15 years old, she was an alcoholic and I believe she just couldn't see another way out. My whole world changed on that day and not for the best either. That was 40 years ago and I still miss her. The only difference is now because I suffer from the same disease I can understand how overwhelmed she felt, I am the lucky one because I was saved from repeating the same thing and leaving my children without a mom. So many lives are changed because of the selfish act of ending ones own life. And it is a selfish act, with no regard to how many lives you take with you when you take your own.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,841
I too have a friend who killed himself years ago, but I no longer hate him for leaving that way. I now understand how much pain he was in and why it was easier to die than to live under such pain. Yes, suicide is a 'selfish' act, but I completely understand how someone could kill themselves if they felt "that bad". I see both sides of it, and there's pain on both sides. I will not assign blame knowing someone feels "that badly" about living. I will pray for their soul and keep reminding myself of my own reasons for staying alive.
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