hendershot

This is just a general question for those of you who have done any kind of extended work in therapy. Recently I have been going through lots of uncomfortable/difficult stuff that I really don't like talking about. It puts me in a crappy mood after the sessions that lingers along with shame/self-loathing. I am conflicted about how much this is helpful and whether or not it is good for my sobriety. I mean: I am definitely closer to a drink/drug after therapy when we do hard stuff and I don't know if I should be risking this at all right now. More broadly, I am wondering if there is a long-term benifit, other than just an aphorism like "oh it's good to talk about it." I am not sure if it is good or not. If the goal is feeling better about myself, I find that focusing on the positives and eschewing the negatives to be benifical. But then again, maybe the point is coming to accept all things as they are, no matter how unpleasant. Does anyone have similar experience? Any advice as to whether or not working stuff out in therapy pays dividends or is an unwarranted risk at this point? I will continue to go to therapy but I consider just philibustering on more pleasant topics sometimes.

Bamboozle

Hello, hendershot.

I'm only about 5 months into therapy this time around. The other times I went were for very short periods.

What I'm doing right now is focusing on buliding my self esteem, managing my anxiety, and working on small goals. Most of it is very "in the now".

I'm sorry if you've already done this, but have you talked to your therapist about this? If you haven't, print out your post and show it to your therapist.

Ask your therapist about how will talking about certain issues help you. Make sure he/she understands how much you are struggling to remain sober.

Live

Man, the first thing I tell therapists is that I am not going to do that! I have lived through it and that is enough.
Indeed a few years ago one did what I termed an autopsy and I told my now therapist about that and about how I went out and got drunk as a result and she said "I would have too!"
I think it is cruel for someone to go digging into my deep wounds..things come out in time as I am ready and comfortable for them too...and some don't need to be re-lived at all.
I guess the key issue is...are those past things controlling your behaviors and emotions NOW????

BarefootBlues

What is the reason for going into the past and rehashing all the bad stuff?
I recently had to do this with my therapist b/c he wanted to know where I got my internal messages from. It was harder than I thought, especially since I've long forgiven the past, but it definitely left me feeling angry and raw again. I avoided my family for a few weeks but now everything feels back in place.
So, my therapist had a purpose other than me getting things off my chest.
Maybe you should talk to yours about what their specific agenda is and go from there.
Good luck!