Paulos

How's it going all... 90 days of sobriety but I think I'm going through Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, man I want these stressful feelings/symptoms to go away... I'm so scared... always crying... always OCDing... here all, a piece from my Journal I just wrote in case anyone cares...

"8:28am feeling like I don't know what I do... do I have amnesia or something? God I
feel so confused about the own things I do and ever did! I feel so BLASTED mentally and ******** >:O... I'm very afraid right now as usual!
90 days sober without any booze... that is something to be proud of but it's just... it's just I'm always timing to the next time I get washed,
the next time I have to deal with something stressful, the time when I last got washed/went to bed... just always OCDing. At least I got a
"little" better last night when at 12am I did my Brainiversity, talked to mom about things, cried some of my feelings out, made a folder of
lists to show the doctor and played some Pogo :|. So INSECURE feeling as well. Feeling disappointed in myself for not being able or feeling
up to Runeing with Blue and Hears... I've felt this feeling before regarding responsibility to my guildies, I miss my towel holder in my
bathroom... used to lean my head on it as I strugged to ****... but that was rather unhygenic... due to my head grease and all. It's not fair,
letting things OUT you know such as writing them out even doesn't make me feel better anymore! WHY AM I FEELING SO SHOT?!?"

Man... is life only about feeling insecure about everything?

Live

I am so sorry you are struggling so,Paulos. It tears at my heart. Will you be seeing your DR soon?

WLDKATZ

Paulos, you have been to hell and back again I know but it didn't say in the big book admit that we were powerless then it would be all better.....hang tough you have been doing a fabulous job so far.....and I agree, when are you going to go to your Dr......you have followed my recovery long enough to know that there are just sometimes when you MUST conceed and go and say hey this is harder than I can do alone......give it a chance you may find yourself back to almost normal again!!!!


Love and Hugs,
Pamm

Bamboozle

:ghug3

Hello, Paulos. I hope you see a doctor soon.

Paulos

Oh I've had a dr's assistance... recently. I was on Clomipramine for about 2 weeks but I was so sick, lost 20lbs in that time, then begun having breathing problems and begun falling literally all over the place. Then I was taken off the pill now it's been like 5-6 days off of it, feeling a little physically better but ... my OCD is going CRAZY, as you can see from my journal.

Paulos

Going to my Psychiatrist this Tuesday also for a checkup, I almost ended up in the HOSPITAL due to that pill.

Hope

Paulos, I'm so sorry that you are going through so much.

Tell the doctor everything you are going through.

Don't lose hope. It's rough now but it'll get better.

WLDKATZ

Paulos, print out your journal hon let them see what is going on!!!!!

Toomutch

((((Paulos))))

historyteach

(((Paulos)))

I'm sorry that you're feeling so poorly.
But, it's wonderful the way you've reached out to others, despite that fact! Thank you!
Let us know how it goes at the doctor's visit. We care.

Shalom!

Paulos

...I'm just so scared I'm going to be overwhelmed by my autism, like I'm not going to be able to read, write, talk or anything anymore... like retardation... it's insane I know it sounds insane but it feels so real.

Paulos

sigh........