Back again, same old story.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 46
Back again, same old story.
Hey all. I posted here years ago about being addicted to weed, alcohol and cigarettes. Since then, I struggled here and there with these substances. I had quit cigarettes for 10 months, started again after I had trouble dealing with a breakup. Smoked for a couple weeks, stopped, smoked for 1 day and now have been quit for almost 2 weeks. booze is still on and off and weed I quit for 3 months.
The cigs I hope I never smoke again (just don't enjoy it anymore)
booze I no longer enjoy like I used to but I still go to get it every couple of days.
Weed I quit because let's just say I sort of had to at the time.
I remember fine people like Dee on this forum that tried to talk to me and help me and I appreciated that very much.
I met a new girl and she doesn't smoke or drink. I made an ass in front of her one day by drinking and smoking and it almost scared her off for good. I don't want a woman to be the reason for me to stop something. I don't do anything in front of her anymore but apparently I have a double life because when she's gone I revert back to smoking weed and drinking sometimes.
I do not like AA, just don't like the vibe where people act like one drink will kill them. I understand where they are coming from though but iv'e had worse fears than a beer in my life.
I mean... the woman I am seeing now is on anti depressants. I know not to compare. I don't agree that she's on it just like she may not agree with booze or weed, but to me that's a double standard.
I think when it comes to me quitting something I have to be disgusted and bothered by it. I became disgusted by cigarettes, deep down I have no appreciation for alcohol and weed has been making me sneeze and cough but I still call for another bag.
Might as well just write drugs, sex and rock n roll on my tombstone.
The cigs I hope I never smoke again (just don't enjoy it anymore)
booze I no longer enjoy like I used to but I still go to get it every couple of days.
Weed I quit because let's just say I sort of had to at the time.
I remember fine people like Dee on this forum that tried to talk to me and help me and I appreciated that very much.
I met a new girl and she doesn't smoke or drink. I made an ass in front of her one day by drinking and smoking and it almost scared her off for good. I don't want a woman to be the reason for me to stop something. I don't do anything in front of her anymore but apparently I have a double life because when she's gone I revert back to smoking weed and drinking sometimes.
I do not like AA, just don't like the vibe where people act like one drink will kill them. I understand where they are coming from though but iv'e had worse fears than a beer in my life.
I mean... the woman I am seeing now is on anti depressants. I know not to compare. I don't agree that she's on it just like she may not agree with booze or weed, but to me that's a double standard.
I think when it comes to me quitting something I have to be disgusted and bothered by it. I became disgusted by cigarettes, deep down I have no appreciation for alcohol and weed has been making me sneeze and cough but I still call for another bag.
Might as well just write drugs, sex and rock n roll on my tombstone.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome back higherwisdom 
I don't really see the connection between anti-depressants and weed to be honest.
I get why you're making the comparison - everyone needs a crutch right? and that justifies your weed use...but I really don't see anti depressants as a crutch.
lets put it this way...Anti depressants don't make me obsess about where my next a-d pill is coming from...they don't get me high...I don't need an anti depressant pill the moment I get up and then several times throughout the day...my mates and I never sat around taking anti depressants,..I've never wanted to take a whole bottle of anti-ds until they were gone, never tempted to steal an a-d pill, or spend my last $20 on a bag of anti-depressants, and I've never combed the carpet looking for crumbs from an anti-d I dropped....
I don't really need to labour the point anymore
Bottom line is noone needs to die an addict if they don;t want to.
If your weed use is making you unhappy you can stop - it might be an effort but you'll find amazing support here.
If your weed use is making someone else unhappy then you have a choice to make, man.
D
I don't really see the connection between anti-depressants and weed to be honest.
I get why you're making the comparison - everyone needs a crutch right? and that justifies your weed use...but I really don't see anti depressants as a crutch.
lets put it this way...Anti depressants don't make me obsess about where my next a-d pill is coming from...they don't get me high...I don't need an anti depressant pill the moment I get up and then several times throughout the day...my mates and I never sat around taking anti depressants,..I've never wanted to take a whole bottle of anti-ds until they were gone, never tempted to steal an a-d pill, or spend my last $20 on a bag of anti-depressants, and I've never combed the carpet looking for crumbs from an anti-d I dropped....
I don't really need to labour the point anymore
Bottom line is noone needs to die an addict if they don;t want to.
If your weed use is making you unhappy you can stop - it might be an effort but you'll find amazing support here.
If your weed use is making someone else unhappy then you have a choice to make, man.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 46
Thanks Dee. You are right with the rationalization of weed use or any usage of a substance. There's always an excuse or a reason. When I use weed or alcohol I am always alone, or with someone or others that do it. I used to go out and do stuff on it, now all I can do is sit there and listen to music or play video games. I can't do anything on it. I used to do more things. I think I just like the sedation... the escape... but I can never escape anything truly.
I think I have to analyze myself real hard and decide if this is how I will spend the rest of my life. the 3 months that I was without weed I felt pretty good. Sure I missed it, but I thought about it a lot less. I was still drinking sometimes but that was a period where I did the least amount of substances. It wasn't that bad. Having gone back on the weed, it seems tougher now to quit but I know I can do it again.
I think I have to analyze myself real hard and decide if this is how I will spend the rest of my life. the 3 months that I was without weed I felt pretty good. Sure I missed it, but I thought about it a lot less. I was still drinking sometimes but that was a period where I did the least amount of substances. It wasn't that bad. Having gone back on the weed, it seems tougher now to quit but I know I can do it again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 46
Back with an update. I have went a week here and a couple weeks there without smoking or drinking much at all. However a couple times I went overboard with the drinking and smoking and it obviously made things really difficult and miserable.
The reality is weed and alcohol have lost their magic. I think that happens with time. My body and mind cannot take it well. It doesn't matter what kind of weed it is or what the booze is, it will just make me miserable for the next 24 hours or so. I am hoping I don't fall back into this again seeing how I do from time to time because everytime I have delved into it, it hasn't been worth it.
Some twisted part of me still believes I can find happiness in these things but i know I am just fooling myself. A thousand joints later, 100 000 beers or so later it just doesn't work anymore.
In what sick way did we end up believing that maybe an hour of so called joy is worth 24 hours plus of utter garbage?
The reality is weed and alcohol have lost their magic. I think that happens with time. My body and mind cannot take it well. It doesn't matter what kind of weed it is or what the booze is, it will just make me miserable for the next 24 hours or so. I am hoping I don't fall back into this again seeing how I do from time to time because everytime I have delved into it, it hasn't been worth it.
Some twisted part of me still believes I can find happiness in these things but i know I am just fooling myself. A thousand joints later, 100 000 beers or so later it just doesn't work anymore.
In what sick way did we end up believing that maybe an hour of so called joy is worth 24 hours plus of utter garbage?
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Nothing to add here other than support, other than Dee is a great resource and I have never seen him lead anyone wrong in his 161,000 plus posts!!! Somehow you have to get to the point where using is no longer an option in you life. I personally am struggling with this in my life, so I don't have any sage wisdom for you other to keep reading and trying stuff. Something will eventually click if you really want it, Take care
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