Gearing up for a new quit
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
Gearing up for a new quit
How is everyone doing?
I am doing well in some ways but still struggling with MJ
so here I go again.
Gearing up to make tomorrow my day 1 and really feeling ready to commit this time.
Teodor are you around? Are you still not smoking?
how is everyone else?
Also- I want to change my username back to windytown! I changed my account cause the password an email info from the old one was all messed up. I like my current account but want to be windytown-- is it possible someone in this website can change it for e or tell me if I can change it?
I am doing well in some ways but still struggling with MJ
so here I go again.
Gearing up to make tomorrow my day 1 and really feeling ready to commit this time.
Teodor are you around? Are you still not smoking?
how is everyone else?
Also- I want to change my username back to windytown! I changed my account cause the password an email info from the old one was all messed up. I like my current account but want to be windytown-- is it possible someone in this website can change it for e or tell me if I can change it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
DAY 1
May I have the strength and foresight to choose every day not to use MJ.
May I remember each day that the road I choose to walk that day will create my well being or else keep me stuck in addiction, and may I have the strength and self love to every day choose to walk away from the addiction, and into a new hope and a new better way of living.
May I be more powerful than the cravings. May I know the cravings will fade.
May I not be tricked by "boredom" and "lethargy" but see these instead as temporary obstacles to overcome, after which I will enter into an actual higher vibration of living.
May I be supported by the universe in this next step so that I may truly emerge into my true potential, which is living in a place of true joy, true peace, true health, true inspiration.
Here I go.
May I have the strength and foresight to choose every day not to use MJ.
May I remember each day that the road I choose to walk that day will create my well being or else keep me stuck in addiction, and may I have the strength and self love to every day choose to walk away from the addiction, and into a new hope and a new better way of living.
May I be more powerful than the cravings. May I know the cravings will fade.
May I not be tricked by "boredom" and "lethargy" but see these instead as temporary obstacles to overcome, after which I will enter into an actual higher vibration of living.
May I be supported by the universe in this next step so that I may truly emerge into my true potential, which is living in a place of true joy, true peace, true health, true inspiration.
Here I go.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
DAY 2
May I have the strength and foresight to choose every day not to use MJ.
May I remember each day that the road I choose to walk that day will create my well being or else keep me stuck in addiction, and may I have the strength and self love to every day choose to walk away from the addiction, and into a new hope and a new better way of living.
May I be more powerful than the cravings. May I know the cravings will fade.
May I not be tricked by "boredom" and "lethargy" but see these instead as temporary obstacles to overcome, after which I will enter into an actual higher vibration of living.
May I be supported by the universe in this next step so that I may truly emerge into my true potential, which is living in a place of true joy, true peace, true health, true inspiration.
Here I go.
May I have the strength and foresight to choose every day not to use MJ.
May I remember each day that the road I choose to walk that day will create my well being or else keep me stuck in addiction, and may I have the strength and self love to every day choose to walk away from the addiction, and into a new hope and a new better way of living.
May I be more powerful than the cravings. May I know the cravings will fade.
May I not be tricked by "boredom" and "lethargy" but see these instead as temporary obstacles to overcome, after which I will enter into an actual higher vibration of living.
May I be supported by the universe in this next step so that I may truly emerge into my true potential, which is living in a place of true joy, true peace, true health, true inspiration.
Here I go.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 139
Day 3
(have to copy this and say it to myself every day at this point)
May I have the strength and foresight to choose every day not to use MJ.
May I remember each day that the road I choose to walk that day will create my well being or else keep me stuck in addiction, and may I have the strength and self love to every day choose to walk away from the addiction, and into a new hope and a new better way of living.
May I be more powerful than the cravings. May I know the cravings will fade.
May I not be tricked by "boredom" and "lethargy" but see these instead as temporary obstacles to overcome, after which I will enter into an actual higher vibration of living.
May I be supported by the universe in this next step so that I may truly emerge into my true potential, which is living in a place of true joy, true peace, true health, true inspiration.
(have to copy this and say it to myself every day at this point)
May I have the strength and foresight to choose every day not to use MJ.
May I remember each day that the road I choose to walk that day will create my well being or else keep me stuck in addiction, and may I have the strength and self love to every day choose to walk away from the addiction, and into a new hope and a new better way of living.
May I be more powerful than the cravings. May I know the cravings will fade.
May I not be tricked by "boredom" and "lethargy" but see these instead as temporary obstacles to overcome, after which I will enter into an actual higher vibration of living.
May I be supported by the universe in this next step so that I may truly emerge into my true potential, which is living in a place of true joy, true peace, true health, true inspiration.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 466
Hi Windytown,
Glad to see you're still fighting. I'm sure you must be sick of this at this point. Getting clean and then going back off and on again is exhausting. Is enough enough at this point for you? It all comes back to desperation. Are you desperate to get clean at this point. Addiction is so powerful that desperation is often needed. If someone is still somewhat ambivalent/nonchalant about getting clean, then it's going to be to hard to achieve long-term success. What needs to happen to you to make you willing to do anything to make recovery a permanent part of your life. Something has to change. If you're still trying to do this the way you have been for a long time now, then you should know from experience that this might not work out very well. Trust your track record, not your emotions.
Something's been holding you back. Every time you've gone back out, you know that you'll eventually be at day 1 again. Why are you quitting this? I really, REALLY hope for your sake that you aren't looking into the future and hoping for some moderation fantasy down the line. You crossed the line a long time ago, and there's no going back to the way things once were.
If you're going on straight white-knuckle willpower still, then this might be it. We actually have somewhat of a willpower reserve within our brain, and it eventually runs out. It's why hardcore diets generally don't work for very long. I can't explain the exact biological science of this, but I've been assured of it by some people who know a hell of a lot more about the brain than I do. Also, you might be interested to know that addicts don't even really crave the actual high a drug brings them. An addict's dopamine levels peak in the moments before use. This is a fact. Ever notice that when you crave you crave smoking and not sitting around stoned? Getting high isn't doing much for you.
I like the enthusiasm of your last post, but if you aren't equipped with tools and support, being more powerful than your cravings probably won't last in the long term. If it did, you would have never gone back. This isn't a knock on you, it's just reality.
If you haven't gotten some real help at this point, then I'm not sure what's holding you back. I'll be a little blunt here. The whole "I can't relate to other addicts because my drug of choice is weed" thing is a tired excuse that's keeping you sick. I can't imagine an addiction professional not taking your situation seriously. I also can't imagine any recovery community ostracizing you because you aren't shooting heroin. Believe it or not, you actually have a lot in common with someone who's doing this. This isn't meant to be an insult. Addiction is the disease, and the drug of choice is a mere technicality. Most likely, people will be enthusiastic to help you. Again, not trying to grill you here, but if trying to do this on your own is an ego thing, then it's not going to work. I guarantee that 100%.
Make this your last day 3 and do what's necessary. SR is a great tool, but it's clear that it isn't enough for you. You need to fill up the toolbox more. Of course, you could spend the next twenty years on and off the wagon. We only have one life on this earth, and to me, that doesn't sound like a particularly enjoyable or fulfilling existence. You don't want to look back at this period of time and be flooded with the could've would've should've thoughts.
Hang in there and maybe do a little self reflection on what needs to be done. I'm glad you haven't given up.
Glad to see you're still fighting. I'm sure you must be sick of this at this point. Getting clean and then going back off and on again is exhausting. Is enough enough at this point for you? It all comes back to desperation. Are you desperate to get clean at this point. Addiction is so powerful that desperation is often needed. If someone is still somewhat ambivalent/nonchalant about getting clean, then it's going to be to hard to achieve long-term success. What needs to happen to you to make you willing to do anything to make recovery a permanent part of your life. Something has to change. If you're still trying to do this the way you have been for a long time now, then you should know from experience that this might not work out very well. Trust your track record, not your emotions.
Something's been holding you back. Every time you've gone back out, you know that you'll eventually be at day 1 again. Why are you quitting this? I really, REALLY hope for your sake that you aren't looking into the future and hoping for some moderation fantasy down the line. You crossed the line a long time ago, and there's no going back to the way things once were.
If you're going on straight white-knuckle willpower still, then this might be it. We actually have somewhat of a willpower reserve within our brain, and it eventually runs out. It's why hardcore diets generally don't work for very long. I can't explain the exact biological science of this, but I've been assured of it by some people who know a hell of a lot more about the brain than I do. Also, you might be interested to know that addicts don't even really crave the actual high a drug brings them. An addict's dopamine levels peak in the moments before use. This is a fact. Ever notice that when you crave you crave smoking and not sitting around stoned? Getting high isn't doing much for you.
I like the enthusiasm of your last post, but if you aren't equipped with tools and support, being more powerful than your cravings probably won't last in the long term. If it did, you would have never gone back. This isn't a knock on you, it's just reality.
If you haven't gotten some real help at this point, then I'm not sure what's holding you back. I'll be a little blunt here. The whole "I can't relate to other addicts because my drug of choice is weed" thing is a tired excuse that's keeping you sick. I can't imagine an addiction professional not taking your situation seriously. I also can't imagine any recovery community ostracizing you because you aren't shooting heroin. Believe it or not, you actually have a lot in common with someone who's doing this. This isn't meant to be an insult. Addiction is the disease, and the drug of choice is a mere technicality. Most likely, people will be enthusiastic to help you. Again, not trying to grill you here, but if trying to do this on your own is an ego thing, then it's not going to work. I guarantee that 100%.
Make this your last day 3 and do what's necessary. SR is a great tool, but it's clear that it isn't enough for you. You need to fill up the toolbox more. Of course, you could spend the next twenty years on and off the wagon. We only have one life on this earth, and to me, that doesn't sound like a particularly enjoyable or fulfilling existence. You don't want to look back at this period of time and be flooded with the could've would've should've thoughts.
Hang in there and maybe do a little self reflection on what needs to be done. I'm glad you haven't given up.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
Wow, that's a quality post right there. Although it doesn't concern me I think it is highly valuable nonetheless. Wise words!
Forgot to add: We're here for you Windy but don't hesitate if this place alone isn't doing it for you. Do what's needed.
Forgot to add: We're here for you Windy but don't hesitate if this place alone isn't doing it for you. Do what's needed.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Originally Posted by racingthoughts 
If you haven't gotten some real help at this point, then I'm not sure what's holding you back. I'll be a little blunt here. The whole "I can't relate to other addicts because my drug of choice is weed" thing is a tired excuse that's keeping you sick. I can't imagine an addiction professional not taking your situation seriously. I also can't imagine any recovery community ostracizing you because you aren't shooting heroin. Believe it or not, you actually have a lot in common with someone who's doing this. This isn't meant to be an insult. Addiction is the disease, and the drug of choice is a mere technicality. Most likely, people will be enthusiastic to help you. Again, not trying to grill you here, but if trying to do this on your own is an ego thing, then it's not going to work. I guarantee that 100%.
Hang in there and maybe do a little self reflection on what needs to be done. I'm glad you haven't given up.
Hang in there and maybe do a little self reflection on what needs to be done. I'm glad you haven't given up.
That said, you can use this as an excuse not to quit and get help or you can push through it and get the help you need. It took me a long time, way too long, to get this through my rock solid head!
If you are not finding the help you need in more traditional recovery programs you should check out our secular forums. There are many different types of recovery help these days as there are many different types of people. I had a hard time with some programs because I was asked to change some of my basic philosophies on life in order to "fit" the program. It was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. While it is possible, it sure is a lot harder!!You really do have to make the choice to quit. Understand that only YOU are responsible for making the choice to use. I'm pretty sure nobody has forced you to smoke a joint, at least that was my personal experience. Support groups can help, but you are the only one who can make this choice. Best of luck to you. Keep posting!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 466
I'm sorry you had that experience Tyler. I based my claim on my experience, but I agree that some people might be totally ignorant on the matter. With that being said, there are still plenty who aren't, and they are the ones that are worthwhile to see. Any rehab that doesn't take a weed addiction seriously is a joke in my opinion, and if I was treated that way, I'd be out the door right then and there. They obviously don't want my business. A counselor who treats a mj client any differently than a heroin one should be reported to the ACA in my opinion.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
I should note that the rehab experience was about 8 years ago when far fewer people were being treated for marijuana addiction. I hope things are better now. Some people probably still have that opinion, but they are obviously operating from a position of ignorance. It was just a bit troubling to get that thrown at me in day one in what I understood to be a good treatment facility.
Still, I think it is important to keep not to give too much power to other peoples opinions, mine included!! They are just opinions based on their own experiences. Some have more and better experience, but only you can know your own truth. If you think you have a problem, if you are asking that question, chances are you do. You shouldn't let what anyone says talk you out of that!!
Still, I think it is important to keep not to give too much power to other peoples opinions, mine included!! They are just opinions based on their own experiences. Some have more and better experience, but only you can know your own truth. If you think you have a problem, if you are asking that question, chances are you do. You shouldn't let what anyone says talk you out of that!!
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
WindyTown, haven't heard from you in a few days. You still out there?? If you didn't make it to quit today, there is nothing stopping you from doing it tomorrow!! Don't let it take 30 years like it did for me. You don't have to wait until your life is a complete train wreck to make a change.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
If someone was solely having problems in inpatient rehab with weed, we'd be all like "Get a REAL habit. That's a KID's drug." Seriously, I actually heard someone say that. As I never liked weed, I agreed and projected that it shouldn't really be a problem for anyone.
Many of the people in outpatient were struggling with marijuana addiction, some with very real consequences. It was a university rehab and most of the younger people were the ones with weed issues. One guy, who was EXTREMELY eloquent at 21, got kicked out of his major and almost out of school. I hate hearing about how TERRIBLE the Millennials are. I learned more from that kid than I did from nearly everyone at that facility.
Anyway, I've since learned that weed IS a real habit and NOT just for kids.
You're doing great Windytown. I've met a lot of people be all like "Yeah, I smoke weed, but at least I'm not drinking/snorting/heroin-ing."
Many of the people in outpatient were struggling with marijuana addiction, some with very real consequences. It was a university rehab and most of the younger people were the ones with weed issues. One guy, who was EXTREMELY eloquent at 21, got kicked out of his major and almost out of school. I hate hearing about how TERRIBLE the Millennials are. I learned more from that kid than I did from nearly everyone at that facility.
Anyway, I've since learned that weed IS a real habit and NOT just for kids.
You're doing great Windytown. I've met a lot of people be all like "Yeah, I smoke weed, but at least I'm not drinking/snorting/heroin-ing."
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