My zillionth try
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My zillionth try
I read on a post on this forum, someone said- "Many of us here have quit a zillion times, until finally one of those stuck". So this thread is to my zillionth try. I am not actually quit yet, but am gearing up for my zillionth try. So I wanted to start a new thread for this new opportunity. Soon come.
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gah day one did not work out yesterday- found a little bit to stay stoned all day. today is sort of day one though I have been spending 1/2 my day picking up bits of black crap off the floor and trying to smoke it- and maybe managed a hit of mj in all that. gah. such an addict.
So maybe tomorrow is day one. motivated by a trip to see family in a week- I need to get through the first week of withdrawal before staying with them so hopefully tomorrow I can ride out the cravings.
So maybe tomorrow is day one. motivated by a trip to see family in a week- I need to get through the first week of withdrawal before staying with them so hopefully tomorrow I can ride out the cravings.
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Originally Posted by StartingOverNW 
I'm with you Windy. I'm somewhere around my zillionth try too!
so today is an actual day one. We are going to visit family in 5 days for a week and I want to get through the first days of withdrawal before then so that is motivation. Doing okay today- better than yesterday where the whole day was about jonsing and smoking whatever I could scrape together ( not much).
I think the motivation of the trip will keep me from getting more, even if I feel bored and grumpy ( my biggest withdrawal symptoms). but when I get back- that will be a challenge to retain the sobriety but who knows. At this point I will be happy to even get off it for a while--- and hopefully for a long time.
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: West Wales
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Hi Windytown, best of luck with your quit.
It sounds like you should make a recovery plan
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Don't give up giving up....
even if I feel bored and grumpy ( my biggest withdrawal symptoms). but when I get back- that will be a challenge to retain the sobriety but who knows
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Don't give up giving up....
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
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Trying to quit isn't a commitment to quitting, it's just a commitment to trying, which leaves the door open to giving up.
I tried quitting countless times. Tried, but easily failed. I talked quitting, but put no action behind it. Then one day, so disgusted with myself for mooching a buzz off someone (after I had told them I quit) that I finally did it. I said, "I'm done."
And it was like a switch went off in my head. I had decided to QUIT. Not "try" to quit. Quit. And I did.
You'll know when you are really ready.
I tried quitting countless times. Tried, but easily failed. I talked quitting, but put no action behind it. Then one day, so disgusted with myself for mooching a buzz off someone (after I had told them I quit) that I finally did it. I said, "I'm done."
And it was like a switch went off in my head. I had decided to QUIT. Not "try" to quit. Quit. And I did.
You'll know when you are really ready.
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day 2 Typical feelings of craving and yet at the same time having SO much more energy to get through my day and less overwhelmed
Reminding myself I cannot moderate-- I cannot be sober all day and smoke once at night. I either smoke none at all or all day long.
Reminding myself I cannot moderate-- I cannot be sober all day and smoke once at night. I either smoke none at all or all day long.
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day 9. Great start, I know, but I have been down this road a zillion times. Usually I can do about 10-14 days and then I cave. I don't have a plan ( as many of you suggested) to sustain this.
Thing is, I am sober because I am away visiting family. It is easy. I have done this a zillion times before. then the first night I get home I rush to get some pot and go back into the stoned zone for about a month until I gear up to quit again, manage 10-14 days, then go back on it again.
When I am off of it I am barely jonsing- other than thinking how "nice" it will be to get stoned when I get home. But it isn't nice. That is the delusion.
I wish I had a plan to sustain for when I get home. I would like to have help with it but I don't know what that would look like for me./
I am on vacation so it is easier. when I get home I go back to the stress of work,responsibilites, bills to pay. And I tell myself the pot helps me to cope with real life. I blow it up in my mind as some thing good. Though it isn't. Then it is so hard to get back off- but here I am 9 days sober and feeling just fine. Being sober is not that bad. It is just the sustaining the sobriety that is SO hard for me.
Thing is, I am sober because I am away visiting family. It is easy. I have done this a zillion times before. then the first night I get home I rush to get some pot and go back into the stoned zone for about a month until I gear up to quit again, manage 10-14 days, then go back on it again.
When I am off of it I am barely jonsing- other than thinking how "nice" it will be to get stoned when I get home. But it isn't nice. That is the delusion.
I wish I had a plan to sustain for when I get home. I would like to have help with it but I don't know what that would look like for me./
I am on vacation so it is easier. when I get home I go back to the stress of work,responsibilites, bills to pay. And I tell myself the pot helps me to cope with real life. I blow it up in my mind as some thing good. Though it isn't. Then it is so hard to get back off- but here I am 9 days sober and feeling just fine. Being sober is not that bad. It is just the sustaining the sobriety that is SO hard for me.
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Most addicts would probably tell you that getting sober is the easy part while staying sober is where the true battle lies. You're already realizing the tricks that your AV is going to try and pull once you get home. This is good. Just remember that any ideas you may have which involve you getting high are a load of utter crap. It takes being humble and a lot of honesty to recognize when you're thinking like a drug addict and not a rational person.
I know you don't think that there's much in terms of help for you when you return home. I obviously don't know exactly where you live, but I can almost guarantee there's something. You might have to keep an open mind, do some research, and possibly do something unconventional, but there is stuff out there. You need to fill your toolbox. SR is one tool. What could be some others.
Glad you're doing well otherwise and that your withdrawal hasn't been too rough.
I know you don't think that there's much in terms of help for you when you return home. I obviously don't know exactly where you live, but I can almost guarantee there's something. You might have to keep an open mind, do some research, and possibly do something unconventional, but there is stuff out there. You need to fill your toolbox. SR is one tool. What could be some others.
Glad you're doing well otherwise and that your withdrawal hasn't been too rough.
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