Soberliner

I just quite a $30 hour job at GM 5 months ago. Stresses of not fitting in and coworkers weeding me out for 4 years. I hate talking about my life. Nothing positive so I thought. I now realize its because I don't want to admit my flaws. Or speak up about my sexuality. I was a shy unhappy person putting on fake smiles everyday. Its been a mental block because I am too much like my mom. I spent the last 5 months afterwards drinking up my savings account. I was living in Missouri at the time. I should of came back home to Michigan. Staying there and drinking gave me a chance to gain a new perspective. I don't blame my coworkers at all. I am someone who lets others dictate my moods. I don't deserve a job at GM. I have always been materialistic person. Video game addictions, not paying past bills. Just before I moved back home with my mom, I sold everything I could sell. I came back with just my cloths. That is one of the best feelings I ever had. At the moment I feel like I drank so much last 5 months I am sick of it. My head is still foggy. I will find small things to say at AA meetings even if its just to say what mood I am in. I try to hard and not say what I really, being honest. I now want to seek the simple life. Focus on being honest with my life. Focus on dictating all my happy days to come. Somebody says I look ugly, I will say thank you. I know now I don't have to take everything so serious. Hope I can get to the point where I can start laughing at my flaws. Fix the flaws that are unhealthy. I am grateful for rock bottom