Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Friends and Family > Friends and Family of Substance Abusers
Reload this Page >

Drug addicts mother asked him if he's using again...do I let her know the truth or not?



Drug addicts mother asked him if he's using again...do I let her know the truth or not?

Old 07-29-2019, 02:57 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 6
Drug addicts mother asked him if he's using again...do I let her know the truth or not?

Since we still live together but are officially over (which living under the same roof is HELL) I over heard him speaking with his mother. She was asking if he's using again because she has a gut feeling that he is. He told her no, that's he's sober and not using. His parents are aware of his drug use in the past and know he has issues. But she doesn't know about now....do I let her know the truth? Or do I leave it alone and let them figure it out on their own?

This also tells me that he's using another excuse to why we broke up....
Curious21 is offline  
Old 07-29-2019, 03:54 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
i had a dog-a beagle. awesome dog.
he came home one day with porcupine quills stuck all over his face.
2 months later, he came home in the same condition.
3 weeks later,once again.
apparently that last time he "got it:"
if he doesnt stick his nose where it doesnt belong, he wont get hurt and no drama and chaos insues.
tomsteve is offline  
Old 07-30-2019, 09:57 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
hopeful4's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
If they ask you directly, I would tell the truth. If not, I would leave it alone. That is just my two cents.

Sounds like she knows it anyways.....

The truth will be revealed...
hopeful4 is offline  
Old 08-01-2019, 12:36 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Troubledone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
I agree with the above.

The recovery adage MYOB (mind your own business) applies.

On the one hand I think we all get a little anxious when we see our addict lying to others, and maybe we even wish others would tell us when our addict is doing something we suspect but don't know about.

But, in the end, when others have "warned" me about my addict, it didn't really help. It might have made me angry, or verified what I suspected, but what eventually helped is just me learning what my boundaries should be and enforcing them.

The only reason in the past that I have wanted verification that my addict was using again is that I wanted an explanation of crazy behavior and the hope that if I knew what was going on, somehow I could control it. There is no controlling addiction.

So, as others mentioned, your addict's mother probably suspects, but verification doesn't help. What helps is her just getting to the place where she treats him like an adult in all aspects of his life so he has the opportunity to start acting like one if he wants to.

Just my two cents. Best wishes as you work through all this.
Troubledone is offline  
Old 08-02-2019, 06:22 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
As the mother of an addicted adult son, I liked to know the truth but most times I already knew just by his attitude and actions.

My deal with anyone was that I won't seek out anyone to discuss his "condition" but if asked, I will always tell the truth. If that was uncomfortable for me, I would suggest they ask him directly...that was an "answer" too.

We don't have to be the addiction police, we know what we know and don't need proof.

Mother's have good instinct. That's enough.

Good luck dear.
Ann is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:29 PM.