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Old 07-20-2019, 04:11 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Mar 2019
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Trying to break the cycle

Well. I do believe since my last post it would be proper to say my addicted husband made away with the cash and he went full blown relapse. The first time I heard from him he was in full panic attack due to some illegal activity. I told him he needed to turn himself in for a warrant. He called police and they could not use the computer system to check. (some police department computer system have been seized) The officer decided to take him to the hospital. 4 hours later he was released. He eventually found his way to a crisis center. As he knows what to do he's been here so many times. He called the next morning and a lot of us know how it goes. Detox, rehab in or out patient for 6-12 months. If they make it thru. I have to repeat the 3 C's often. Now he's on a calling frenzy with request for assistance to locate info on a facility for when he leaves there. I appreciate his efforts. Through my al Anon class I have to work on me. I can't say yes to things I don't really want to do. It's not my life or mess to figure out. I mean I had to go to whole effin classes and discover this wonderful group (blessing dressed up in addiction). Boundaries. I'm not doing the same thing again. I'm working on me. He threatened to not sign the medical release form for me since I won't check. Told him that's his decision. I'm changing me. I'm sure it's hard for him to we he is use to his tactics working perfectly well. I'm going to go no contact for some time. I'm thinking a week. Give him time to adjust to the meds and non usage. I probably will not ever not talk to him forever. We have a son. But it has to be redefined. A lot of my co dependent ways and trying to force my wanted outcome has got me here. He has to do the work. If he wants to stay sober he will if he wants to get high he will. He doesn't know where I live and I'm happy with that for now.
Meanwhile I will keep working on me. I can't get to an Al Anon class so here I am.

So much time passes by during this time with our loved one who is sick with addiction. It heart breaking 💔. I pray one day he can have a healthy relationship with his son.

Last edited by Lynnjenn2; 07-20-2019 at 04:15 PM. Reason: Forgot
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Old 07-20-2019, 05:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi Lynne - he's still causing a lot of chaos, eh? self-induced.

i'm so glad you are somewhere unknown to him and his only way of contact is thru the phone. if he is IN a CRISIS center, surely they have information regarding next steps for an addict? and if his phone has The Google......he doesn't really NEED you to do ANYTHING.

how are you and your son doing these days - aside from this? are you settled into your new surroundings?
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Old 07-20-2019, 05:28 PM   #3 (permalink)

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Yes, the kid and I are well. And getting settled. Pretty regular.

My husband can definitely get all he needs. It just amazed me how upset he gets when that manipulation doesn't work. The crisis center also has some phone restrictions. I'm going to block to the two numbers he's calling from.

I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and can not cure it. No matter what I do or don't do will not make him use or not use. It is his life and choice. I'm staying on my side of the street. It's peaceful here
​​here. I just keep repeating this to myself.
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Old 08-02-2019, 01:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Protecting yourself and the children is huge, well done.

Focus on your own well being, and the wellbeing of the children, of course, and life will get better soon.

I am cheering you on.

For my task is not to seek some
Higher Ground,
nor make the darkness bright.

It is to walk with Faith amidst the gloom
Undaunted, Unafraid & Undiminished
by the darkness
of the

~Raleigh Michael Smith
From Poem Valley of the Winds
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Old 08-05-2019, 08:14 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Bravo. Sounds like your boundaries are clear to you, and to him. Keep taking good care of you and your son!
"I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn't sorry, and accept an apology I never received
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