Jiggs

So at 3:30 AM we are jolted out of bed by someone hammering on our door. We live in a rural area and as the saying goes, nothing ever good happens after 2 AM.

So it was our son and his girlfriend. He was soaked to the ass and they were both freezing. A cab was parked in our driveway.

So another trailer trash story where another poor decision caused a chain reaction of fall out.

He is a suspended driver. His girlfriend, who I thought was sober, ended up at a trailer park a few miles from us at a party. When the party ended she found herself without a ride so she called our son to pick her up....and she knows he's a suspended driver (this is the same one that told us she was going to save him, oh brother).

So my son then "borrows" his roommates car and heads out to rescue his damsel in distress. Enroute he swamps the car into a field, police are called a couple of hours later (he was high so he dodged a dui charge thanks to the time lapse), buddy's car gets towed and impounded.

Police drop him off at the trailer park and he meets up with his girlfriend. They end up calling a cab from the city that takes them to our place.

He has no money and needs some cash to pay the Cabbie..$70. I know if I don't pay the Cabbie is going to get screwed for his time and $$ because I know the Police won't be putting it as a priority. So I pay the Cabbie and I thought that was going to cover taking my son and his girlfriend back to the City. Nope that would be another $80 so I said no way.

My son then asked well can we stay here for the night to which I responded NO. But I did end up driving them back to the City at 4 AM. It was a very quiet ride and the smell of weed from them was nauseating.

Along the way he hinted about needing $500 to get his buddy's car out of the impound, but I didn't bite.

Honestly the constant drama that flows from poor choices never stops, but I didn't bite on rolling the red carpet out for them or giving him money for the car.

Babysteps, but it does feel empowering to say NO. On the flipside my daughter got a 90 average in her last year of high school.

At least the day had a silver lining.

Ilovemysonjj

Sigh...... good job on saying NO and not falling into the same trap. I probably would have driven them home to so I could rest knowing they weren't sleeping on my doorstep and not in my home. we have had "those calls" a few times in JJ's usage years ago and I would try to offer solutions for him that didn't include our home as the answer. They also included the drive to rehab or detox as part of what I would be willing to do.

Ann

Good for your daughter, I hope she is very proud and knows you are proud of her too. It can be hard for a sibling to feel good about "shining" when their brother or sister is doing so poorly in life.

I am sorry your son brought his drama to your door, I probably would have done the same as you did but I would have made it clear that next time I would not even answer the door. It's just wrong for him to do that to you, and to the taxi driver too, but you can't reason with insanity and that's just how they behave. It's sad as much as it's annoying.

Just keep doing the best you can, Jiggs. And give your daughter an extra special hug for doing so well in spite of the stress she must also feel over all this.

Daisybelle

Firstly a massive well done to your daughter, you must be so proud of her.

I'd have driven them home too rather than have them stay in my house and also for my own piece of mind. Good for you on not biting the bait re the money, you could give him your last penny and he's still come back for more.

I've been in very similar situations with my wayward son, it could be me writing your post. I even have the good and caring daughter. Keep saying no to him, stick to those boundaries the best way you can. Big hugs. xx

SadDad57

Jiggs, you did good!!!
Had a discussion this week with my son who was going on and on about his anxiety. I told him if you will calm down, work instead of trying to hustle everyone most of the drama in your life will go away and when the drama leaves so will most of the anxiety. He agreed, he's on the 2nd week of a new job. Praying he sees the light this time.
But Jiggs, confession from me. I paid his attorney $1000 on Tuesday to make a paraphilia charge go away and be expunged. If he really makes it this time I didn't want that charge hanging over him forever. I know, "Stupid is as Stupid does".

DriGuy

I've got to admit, it was an interesting story. We see these from time to time here, and they always make me feel grateful that I'm not in that loop.

GreenChair

Congratulations to your daughter!

Jiggs

Thanks everyone!

We are going to start going to meetings next week to help us through this crazy train. Admittedly it is becoming too much to handle without some additional f2f support.

Yes our daughter and the rest of our children at doing great. We have a lot of positives in our lives, a lot to be thankful for and we need to keep focused on those and detach from the gnawing negativity associated with our son.