Court (finally?)
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 178
Court (finally?)
I posted a lot about this in the past, but by way of background, we allowed our son's friend to live with us for a period of time because he was homeless. We learned the hard way that he was in active addiction and he stole from us. He fled the jurisdiction part way through the court proceedings, was gone for five months, and now he's been apprehended, brought back to jail, where he's been sitting for a few months awaiting conclusion of this matter. (Thankfully the Court realized that he could not be RE-released pending trial because he was a flight risk!)
He has applied to drug court and is going to be accepted by the prosecutor as a plea. Of course the judge has to accept that plea and make a sentence official. What happens with drug court is that the sentence is waived in favor of participating in the drug court program; but if you don't follow the rules, then it's back to court where the defendant can be jailed for short periods of time as interim punishment, and eventually would have to serve the full sentence if they use up all of their "oopsie" chances. I can make a statement to the judge. I think it will be cathartic for me to take advantage of that opportunity and attend the sentencing, making a statement.
If anyone has a few minutes, can you read this and give your opinion? This is a draft-in-progress; the court date should be within the next 3 weeks. Thank you!!!
Oral Statement:
(opening statement about what the crimes were)
I have been dealing with the aftermath for over a year. Filing a police report and managing my banking was only the beginning of the time spent and the emotional and financial cost to me. I detailed all that I’ve dealt with over the past year in my letter previously submitted to the Court. To recap, briefly:
(5 bullet points of specific, major things that happened)
I've changed my locks, I've missed work, I've attended therapy, I’ve have nightmares...
But as I said, all of that is detailed in my letter. Today I want to talk about how I feel and what I believe to be an appropriate sentence:
I am disappointed in (name). I feel betrayed by (name), who accepted our hospitality, lived in our home as part of our family, and then chose to steal from me. I want (name) to know that (I relate something I discovered about his lies to my family). Up to that point, even though I was incredibly angry with (name), I also felt concern for his wellbeing and would pray that he was not suffering, sick, addicted, homeless or committing crimes to support an addiction.
I feel victimized, gullible, foolish, angry, sad and disappointed. But I am not asking for, I am not expecting, nor would I be ready to accept an apology.
With regard to sentencing, I want Your Honor to know that Name is estranged from his family of origin. To my knowledge he has no responsible support system within the community, he is answerable to no one. He is held accountable by no one. He was homeless before living with my family, and was homeless after.
Name is delinquent in payments of fines to several jurisdictions; the delinquencies pre-date, and are not a result of, his incarceration.
Released ROR, Name fled from this Court for several months and was arrested on a fugitive warrant in (State)!
Therefore, probation and a fine would be a woefully inadequate sentence in my opinion. He needs much more serious consequences and attention from the Court.
That leaves incarceration or rehabilitation. I believe in rehabilitation. That is why I supported his application to drug court.
And I hope he will embrace Drug Court not as a punishment, but as a gift, as an opportunity to enter supervised substance abuse recovery, to obtain much-needed long-term therapy, and to develop the skills and conscience necessary to live a clean, honest, and productive life.
In the interest of his success in the program, ideally drug court’s parameters will include living in a halfway house and possibly a monitoring device. My understanding is that if he is involved with drug court, he will have to comply or will be incarcerated as a consequence. The choice will be his.
I am asking for restitution as allowed by the Court so that I may recover at least somewhat from this incident. But also because as part of substance abuse recovery Name should be following the 12 Steps, which state he should make amends to persons he has harmed. (I have submitted expenses that the prosecutor’s office deemed eligible.) He may be indigent and unemployed right now, but Name has worked as (work history). He has the capability to earn a very good salary.
I believe that drug court spans between 3-5 years; I'm asking for $Amount restitution. Over three years that works out to $amount/week. That seems achievable.
I hope he will succeed in the drug court program. He can have a bright future, but it's up to him.
He has applied to drug court and is going to be accepted by the prosecutor as a plea. Of course the judge has to accept that plea and make a sentence official. What happens with drug court is that the sentence is waived in favor of participating in the drug court program; but if you don't follow the rules, then it's back to court where the defendant can be jailed for short periods of time as interim punishment, and eventually would have to serve the full sentence if they use up all of their "oopsie" chances. I can make a statement to the judge. I think it will be cathartic for me to take advantage of that opportunity and attend the sentencing, making a statement.
If anyone has a few minutes, can you read this and give your opinion? This is a draft-in-progress; the court date should be within the next 3 weeks. Thank you!!!
Oral Statement:
(opening statement about what the crimes were)
I have been dealing with the aftermath for over a year. Filing a police report and managing my banking was only the beginning of the time spent and the emotional and financial cost to me. I detailed all that I’ve dealt with over the past year in my letter previously submitted to the Court. To recap, briefly:
(5 bullet points of specific, major things that happened)
I've changed my locks, I've missed work, I've attended therapy, I’ve have nightmares...
But as I said, all of that is detailed in my letter. Today I want to talk about how I feel and what I believe to be an appropriate sentence:
I am disappointed in (name). I feel betrayed by (name), who accepted our hospitality, lived in our home as part of our family, and then chose to steal from me. I want (name) to know that (I relate something I discovered about his lies to my family). Up to that point, even though I was incredibly angry with (name), I also felt concern for his wellbeing and would pray that he was not suffering, sick, addicted, homeless or committing crimes to support an addiction.
I feel victimized, gullible, foolish, angry, sad and disappointed. But I am not asking for, I am not expecting, nor would I be ready to accept an apology.
With regard to sentencing, I want Your Honor to know that Name is estranged from his family of origin. To my knowledge he has no responsible support system within the community, he is answerable to no one. He is held accountable by no one. He was homeless before living with my family, and was homeless after.
Name is delinquent in payments of fines to several jurisdictions; the delinquencies pre-date, and are not a result of, his incarceration.
Released ROR, Name fled from this Court for several months and was arrested on a fugitive warrant in (State)!
Therefore, probation and a fine would be a woefully inadequate sentence in my opinion. He needs much more serious consequences and attention from the Court.
That leaves incarceration or rehabilitation. I believe in rehabilitation. That is why I supported his application to drug court.
And I hope he will embrace Drug Court not as a punishment, but as a gift, as an opportunity to enter supervised substance abuse recovery, to obtain much-needed long-term therapy, and to develop the skills and conscience necessary to live a clean, honest, and productive life.
In the interest of his success in the program, ideally drug court’s parameters will include living in a halfway house and possibly a monitoring device. My understanding is that if he is involved with drug court, he will have to comply or will be incarcerated as a consequence. The choice will be his.
I am asking for restitution as allowed by the Court so that I may recover at least somewhat from this incident. But also because as part of substance abuse recovery Name should be following the 12 Steps, which state he should make amends to persons he has harmed. (I have submitted expenses that the prosecutor’s office deemed eligible.) He may be indigent and unemployed right now, but Name has worked as (work history). He has the capability to earn a very good salary.
I believe that drug court spans between 3-5 years; I'm asking for $Amount restitution. Over three years that works out to $amount/week. That seems achievable.
I hope he will succeed in the drug court program. He can have a bright future, but it's up to him.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 695
Very well written. Just don't be surprised if you never see a dime of that money. Our AD BF stole thousands from us 3 years ago, not a single penny has been paid back to us because he skipped out and was arrested in another state and is sitting in jail in that state. That crime is more serious than our theft. So now he owes thousands to us, as well as thousands to several other victims he's swindled in the last 3 years. We've come to terms with the fact that we will never see a dime of that money. But hopefully your situation will be different.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
What are you trying to accomplish here? To help him get into the drug program? Is he on trial/in a hearing for the crimes that you listed at the beginning? Is the judge already aware of all of this? By making him aware, how can this affect the outcome of the hearing? More or less likely to get the drug rehab that may actually help him? Or no affect whatsoever?
I think that renaming all of his transgressions does nothing to further that cause. It might make you feel better, and it's really good that you've written it out, but what is the point to reading this all out in court? What does it do for the resentment that you're obviously holding about what he's done to you and your family...feelings that, by the way, are totally understandable. But I've found that resentments just keep me involved in harmful relationships, and in your case I'd gather that you would want to move on. It's not your son or family.
What's the intention?
I think that renaming all of his transgressions does nothing to further that cause. It might make you feel better, and it's really good that you've written it out, but what is the point to reading this all out in court? What does it do for the resentment that you're obviously holding about what he's done to you and your family...feelings that, by the way, are totally understandable. But I've found that resentments just keep me involved in harmful relationships, and in your case I'd gather that you would want to move on. It's not your son or family.
What's the intention?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 78
If it's the same as our jurisdiction this is similar to a "Victim Impact" statement. The DA, Crown or whomever is prosecuting the case invites victims to explain to the Court directly (sometimes the prosecuter will just read it in if the victim so desires) how the actions of the accused have impacted their lives, emotionally, physically and financially.
It reflects the degree of harm caused to the victim and will often, (more often than not) assist the Court in reaching a sentence that reflects the damage caused. It includes the duration of incarceration, probation terms if appropriate, conditions upon release such as no contact or restitution, rehabilitation considerations for the accused, etc etc.
More importantly imho it gives the victim a safe environment to directly address the accused and make it known to them the harm their actions caused. Sometimes it's also the "aha moment " that people need to change their behaviours.
It reflects the degree of harm caused to the victim and will often, (more often than not) assist the Court in reaching a sentence that reflects the damage caused. It includes the duration of incarceration, probation terms if appropriate, conditions upon release such as no contact or restitution, rehabilitation considerations for the accused, etc etc.
More importantly imho it gives the victim a safe environment to directly address the accused and make it known to them the harm their actions caused. Sometimes it's also the "aha moment " that people need to change their behaviours.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
last August this person had applied to drug court, and ultimately skipped town in lieu of following thru with court appearances. at the time you had been in favor of drug court, but then realized that "give him an inch, he'll take the whole block" and incarceration was probably the "best" route.
now he's back and again hoping for drug court in lieu of incarceration and you plan to support this option. and also request some payment plan that would extend your continued enmeshment in his life, choices, actions and behaviors for another 3 to 5 years. you are requesting recompense from someone who is without assets or income and demonstrates zero desire to acquire these things by his own efforts. he shows no respect for others or the law.
i think your healing would come more from being done rather than continued "involvement" in his future. you're never gonna see a dime from this guy. in order of importance, any disposable income he might ever have should go to child support and support enforcement would be first in line.
as the kenny rogers song goes - you gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.
now he's back and again hoping for drug court in lieu of incarceration and you plan to support this option. and also request some payment plan that would extend your continued enmeshment in his life, choices, actions and behaviors for another 3 to 5 years. you are requesting recompense from someone who is without assets or income and demonstrates zero desire to acquire these things by his own efforts. he shows no respect for others or the law.
i think your healing would come more from being done rather than continued "involvement" in his future. you're never gonna see a dime from this guy. in order of importance, any disposable income he might ever have should go to child support and support enforcement would be first in line.
as the kenny rogers song goes - you gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 635
I replied to this early this morning, but I don't think it went through.
My main thought when reading this is that I don't think you should say one way or another what you think an appropriate punishment would be. That's up to the judge.
I also think it would be best to cut it down quite a bit. Don't focus on the research you've done on this guy and his other crimes- that can make you look like you're just bitter and out to get him.
Just say exactly what he did to you and how it affected you.
Expect nothing to come of this. That way you won't be disappointed. Understand how the system works. Criminals get chance after chance to clean up their act, and often don't.
Take it as a lesson learned and be extra cautious next time. I'm sure you already are.
Many blessings.
My main thought when reading this is that I don't think you should say one way or another what you think an appropriate punishment would be. That's up to the judge.
I also think it would be best to cut it down quite a bit. Don't focus on the research you've done on this guy and his other crimes- that can make you look like you're just bitter and out to get him.
Just say exactly what he did to you and how it affected you.
Expect nothing to come of this. That way you won't be disappointed. Understand how the system works. Criminals get chance after chance to clean up their act, and often don't.
Take it as a lesson learned and be extra cautious next time. I'm sure you already are.
Many blessings.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 178
Thanks to each of you for your input. Everyone makes good points.
Jiggs - Thanks for your comment. I value what you said, being that you're retired law enforcement and have experience in the courts. Your answer explaining the victim impact statement was 100%. Thanks.
Leana - I'm prepared not to receive any payment; however, if he goes through drug court he can have his crimes expunged if he completes ALL of the expected parameters. So, if the judge orders restitution he has great incentive to pay it. I expect nothing though, so I won't be disappointed.
Mindful - there is not going to be a trial, and I doubt the sentencing judge has paid much attention at all to the specifics of the crimes, based on my take from conversations with the prosecutor's office the court appearances have pretty much just been about whether he has to stay in jail or can be released pending resolution of the case, and since he's applied to drug court, it's been about adjourning to a new date over and over again while the drug court evaluations, etc take place.
Anvil - You're right, when he fled the jurisdiction I was enraged and wanted to "lock him up" but I've thought about it a lot and locking him up isn't going to solve anything. I guess it would give me some revenge (which is what I was looking for in the autumn), but I've been thinking a lot about this and talking to my therapist about it, and concluded that what I want for him is for him to be well. The drug court program will give him that opportunity.
Hechose - My initial draft included a statement something like "I would not presume to tell Your Honor what the sentence should be" and that I trusted the court's decision, but per the prosecutor, if I'm writing/saying anything about all of this, I need to let the judge know I'm ok with drug court (if I am) because if I'm not ok, that could sway the judge to incarcerate instead.
As far as why I want to subject myself to this (I can't remember the exact comment I'm replying to), it's because this was not a one-and-done. I have suffered the consequences of this repeatedly since the crime was committed. I want the judge to understand the emotional pain this has caused, and all the hoops I've had to jump through over the past year (such as collections agencies and a whole lot more) and I want the judge to give a sentence with some weight to it -- even though that will be waived if Name properly cooperates with drug court. I'm having trouble expressing what I mean....
Anyway, it's been so ongoing that I think it will be cathartic for me to stand in front of the judge and the defendant and own it -- THIS HAPPENED TO ME AND IT MATTERS but I can have compassion and I can agree to drug court.
So thank you for all input. It's made me think and re-think and I'll probably adjust my statement so I don't come off like a whining pity party or angry like a shrew. :-)
Jiggs - Thanks for your comment. I value what you said, being that you're retired law enforcement and have experience in the courts. Your answer explaining the victim impact statement was 100%. Thanks.
Leana - I'm prepared not to receive any payment; however, if he goes through drug court he can have his crimes expunged if he completes ALL of the expected parameters. So, if the judge orders restitution he has great incentive to pay it. I expect nothing though, so I won't be disappointed.
Mindful - there is not going to be a trial, and I doubt the sentencing judge has paid much attention at all to the specifics of the crimes, based on my take from conversations with the prosecutor's office the court appearances have pretty much just been about whether he has to stay in jail or can be released pending resolution of the case, and since he's applied to drug court, it's been about adjourning to a new date over and over again while the drug court evaluations, etc take place.
Anvil - You're right, when he fled the jurisdiction I was enraged and wanted to "lock him up" but I've thought about it a lot and locking him up isn't going to solve anything. I guess it would give me some revenge (which is what I was looking for in the autumn), but I've been thinking a lot about this and talking to my therapist about it, and concluded that what I want for him is for him to be well. The drug court program will give him that opportunity.
Hechose - My initial draft included a statement something like "I would not presume to tell Your Honor what the sentence should be" and that I trusted the court's decision, but per the prosecutor, if I'm writing/saying anything about all of this, I need to let the judge know I'm ok with drug court (if I am) because if I'm not ok, that could sway the judge to incarcerate instead.
As far as why I want to subject myself to this (I can't remember the exact comment I'm replying to), it's because this was not a one-and-done. I have suffered the consequences of this repeatedly since the crime was committed. I want the judge to understand the emotional pain this has caused, and all the hoops I've had to jump through over the past year (such as collections agencies and a whole lot more) and I want the judge to give a sentence with some weight to it -- even though that will be waived if Name properly cooperates with drug court. I'm having trouble expressing what I mean....
Anyway, it's been so ongoing that I think it will be cathartic for me to stand in front of the judge and the defendant and own it -- THIS HAPPENED TO ME AND IT MATTERS but I can have compassion and I can agree to drug court.
So thank you for all input. It's made me think and re-think and I'll probably adjust my statement so I don't come off like a whining pity party or angry like a shrew. :-)
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
This equals a victim impact statement, which you are absolutely within your rights to give.
How the judge reacts is up to the judge. When my XAH broke into someone's house and caused about $20k worth of damage all the while heavily under the influence, the judge was not interested at all in hearing the victim impact. I was quite surprised. He said if there was not thing else he was not aware of, they could be excused. I personally was horrified for them as I thought they deserved their say.
I believe you should do this, then move on. I agree that the chances of you seeing any of this money is likely a 0%. However, I think it's healing for you do do this, as you need your say. That is the end of the road however, and you should then keep your focus on YOUR healing from all of this.
This is just my two cents of course.
Big hugs, I know it's been one hell of a road.
How the judge reacts is up to the judge. When my XAH broke into someone's house and caused about $20k worth of damage all the while heavily under the influence, the judge was not interested at all in hearing the victim impact. I was quite surprised. He said if there was not thing else he was not aware of, they could be excused. I personally was horrified for them as I thought they deserved their say.
I believe you should do this, then move on. I agree that the chances of you seeing any of this money is likely a 0%. However, I think it's healing for you do do this, as you need your say. That is the end of the road however, and you should then keep your focus on YOUR healing from all of this.
This is just my two cents of course.
Big hugs, I know it's been one hell of a road.
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