In reply to lovinglife123
Hi Lovinglife123, we stayed together because before this weekend I had only known about one relapse. One night after a big fight (prior to his diagnosis with bipolar and the subsequent medication that aided in controlling his mood swings) I ended our relationship - the loss proved the push he was needing to give up his fight for recovery. He indulged for one night then came clean and pushed twice as hard to beat both his addiction and his mental illness. For the last year and a half he has been active in his recovery: changing health habits, weekly meetings that he refused to miss, gaining meaningful employment that he loves, openly having conversations about his cravings and how he controls them, setting goals and attaining success. These are the human responses needed in a relationship to encourage both partners to try. I needed to see him progress one step every day and he was. The tricky thing with addicts is that they have an inherent decision making alternative - whenever a roadblock occurs the option presents itself to use. So no matter how strong they have been for the last however many years they still have to fight that option each time and it only takes one day of less willpower than the day before to relapse.
Also, and this takes more for me to admit - I love him. Taking him back comes with stipulations that he must meet but love is just as powerful of an addiction as drugs.