Boyfriends steps towards recovery..

Old 11-10-2015, 07:01 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Hawkeye13's Avatar
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jail is not rehab

In rehab, if you truly want it, you learn the tools to stay clean and to
recover, not just quit.

I think he is feeding you a line of excuses for not getting in rehab so he can
move back in with you when he gets out.

Has he said that yet?
If he hasn't, expect him to.
Needless to say, this would be a serious mistake.

I'm sorry he's spent more time in jail than you both expected, but
that is no reason for him not to get the help he really needs afterwords.
He stole from you once--don't set yourself and your child up to be stolen from
and manipulated again.

If he is serious about recovery, he will show you.
Meanwhile, keep your distance financially (no letting him live there)
and wait to see his actions, don't just listen to his words.
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Old 11-10-2015, 07:26 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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He is losing his mind in their and its so awful!!!
To which I respond with what I wrote last month:

And here's the thing, Marissa. When he's doing heroin, he's willingly ignoring the fact he's violating the terms of his probation. He's willingly ignoring the fact he's got a girlfriend, and he's willingly ignoring the fact his girlfriend has a 3 year old daughter. Based on all of this, we can't say he's 100% in love, because he's putting all of those things I've listed in the back seat. Heroin has the front seat, and I bet it always has been there.

Heroin never, ever lets go without one hell of a fight. And whatever he's telling you right now, I encourage you to be extremely skeptical of it. Because even when he's got heroin out of his system, that doesn't mean the euphoria of being on heroin has left his memory.
Whose fault is it he's in jail?

He wanted to go to rehab and he knows he has a problem but he doesnt want to spend months in jail then months in rehab, which I understand but if he is never goes to rehab how can he get better? He learns nothing in jail he said the "drug and alcohol classes" are a joke they watched episodes of MASH, learned literally nothing, and all he said hes learning is "how to be a criminal". He doesnt belong in jail, he is sick and needs help. UGHHHHH
Well, he willingly violated the terms of his probation by picking up. And by violating the terms of his probation, there is a legal consequence to that, namely incarceration.

As for the rest of what he said, what he's trying to do is make you feel sorry for him. It's working. And this is the price you pay for deciding to stick this out despite the fact there is no evidence he wants to take responsibility for himself and his choices. So again, is this how you want to live your life?
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Old 11-10-2015, 07:28 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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He was suppose to be transferred to rehab within his first couple of weeks in jail now we are going on a month in jail with no clue what his charge is,

I thought he’s in jail because he violated his probation TWICE.

It’s been my experience with addicts who are faced with jail that they jump on the “wanting rehab” bandwagon. The appeal of staying at a rehab compared to jail is the typical draw. My nephew was going to be facing 6 months in jail for violating his probation and his (addict) thought process was……..ok I can do 28 days at some rehab it’s better than 6 months in jail.

He learns nothing in jail he said the "drug and alcohol classes" are a joke.

Doesn’t sound like someone who truly seeks recovery at this point in time.
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Old 11-10-2015, 07:38 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Jail is indeed "poor man's detox" but far from recovery. Every jail offers AA/NA meetings or at least literature. These folks here know what they are talking about (if for no other reason that they have all "believed" an addict before there was Real action---mistake). All addicts (and I am one) will exhaust every option to keep using and run from their actions b4 quitting . Real steps to recovery take 6 months or so abstinent With active participation of some sort with other addicts, therapy or even interaction here. Doesn't seem he's anywhere close IMO. Take care of you and do Your time well--not his.
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