Leftover

I haven't posted in a long, long, time. My alcohol/drug addicted son pulled out of my life nearly two years ago. He expected my continued help (enabling) and i refused, so he told me to stay away from him and his family. While passing through the grief of losing him to his addiction, I've had many struggles. I find myself now living in fear that he will attempt to reconnect. He was an intelligent, gentle young man, but the 22 years of addiction have turned him into someone I don't recognize. He frightens me. He is now in jail for his 4th DUI. He has a wife and four children who are struggling to make ends meet. When he. Although I do find out what is going on with him, (it's always bad news), I'm not tied to the crazy web of terror, uncertainty and bizarreness.
He has had many suicude attemps and with now being in this desperate situation, I worry he will end it. To be perfectly honest, my Faith leads me to believe he will then be relieved of his misery. I can't believe I feel this way. I just saw a FB post saying "Never forget the 3 types of people in your life. 1. The person who LEFT you when times were difficult. 2. The person who helped you during the difficult times. And 3. The person who put you in the difficult times.
I feel sad for this man and I feel said for his children. I hope I'm doing ok?

INgal

Leftover, you are absolutely doing ok by not engaging him. I'm so sorry you are going through this. In a perfect world you could have a relationship with his kids, but it sound like he won't allow it. And please remember that whatever he does, you didn't cause it. Please find an Al Anon meeting nearby soon.

chicory

Leftover....

I believe that you are doing the only thing you can. He is the master of his ship...and must guide it his own self. You cannot do it for him.

I am so sorry, but you are being a strong parent, and that shows him something..a good example, and I pray it influences him soon.

hugs,
chicory

katie44

Leftover your doing fine it is so difficult being the parent of an addict. My spouse and I have been dealing with our AS off and on 12 years. We have detached now, I don't want to see him for a very long time, if ever. I am afraid of my son his personality is unpredictable. There truly is there is no other option I believe. Too live in there crazy chaotic world full of lies and chaos only causes stress and sickness. Praying for his recovery. (((((hugs)))) you are doing great! it takes some of us longer to see just how powerless we are over there addictions.