waitingforhope

No one can find him. I found out from the process server who went there to serve him our divorce papers. I thought he'd been served already! His heart is still unstable. He was in the damn ICU for congestive heart failure due to cocaine! What was he thinking? I can't believe he'd risk killing himself! Why? Why? Why?

zoso77

WFH...

You're trying to square his behavior with what is considered rational behavior. And he's not rational.

Do you have any concerns about your physical safety?

lucky236

Maybe because of his condition he figured he will just continue to use. I hope he is okay. Have you tried looking or contacting him?

waitingforhope

I have to admit I'm scared. Who knows his state of mind and my last contact with him he damn near got out of his bed and physically attacked me even hooked up to all that stuff. If he comes here, I'm calling the police.

waitingforhope

I tried texting and calling him. No answer. I can't imagine his state of mind. He must have been withdrawing bad. I told the process server why I filed and he said he was so sorry for me and he'd do his best to find him. I'm in shock

lucky236

How about filing a missing persons report. If you feel unsafe at home go somewhere else.

zoso77

If you feel in any way at risk, do call the police.

I would assume right now that he's capable of anything.

Please keep us posted.

Hawks

Over the top reaction from some random dude on the internet ??


maybe, but here goes anyway .....

I don't know your full situation.

But if there is anyway you can get out of town or to somewhere safe ..... do that.

I'd consider him "unstable, possibly armed & dangerous" ...... do not approach (as the cops would tell you)

This is how wives / partners / girlfriends end up dead or in ICU themselves.

Take care

waitingforhope

The process server is going to try his mom's house and his job and then give me a call. I don't have anywhere to go out here and right now my kids don't know about this. I'm so worried about him. I will leave and go get them though if I have to. I just can not wrap my head around wth he is doing! He's bound and determined to die it seems. His heart can't be without treatment. I know congestive heart failure way too well to know the consequences.

waitingforhope

Hawks my first post was just a couple days ago "I just discover my husband's addiction" if you want to catch up with the situation. I will definitely be on guard right now considering he was so angry with me last time I saw him. I'm thinking maybe I should go get the girls from school and go to my mom's possibly. I left out, the process server told me he couldn't find out when he left against medical advice due to HIPPA. It might not have been today. I called and left a message for the patient care manager of the unit he was on and asked him to call me with any info he can disclose if possible either way.

hopeful4

I am so sorry. My guess is he is withdrawing so he is going to try to go and use. It's a sad fact that some of them have a very low "bottom" so to speak.

I am so sorry. Please stay safe.

waitingforhope

I just in shock and scared for him and scared for my kids and I at the same time. His behavior in the hospital was so irrational and so scary I know he was withdrawing hard. Now I know how strong the urge to use really is. It's strong enough that he's willing to risk killing himself with an unresolved heart condition.

Hawks

Just read that first post of yours WFH.

You've caught a tough break to put it mildly

I nearly lost myself to booze years ago.

The best way I could describe being in "full flight" addiction would be like this.

Its like your hearing gets turned off (literally) .... which is why no one can talk to an addict .... may as well talk to a Brick wall.

(that's how you get up & walk out of ICU, despite medical professionals telling you stuff)

While at the same time .... the voices in your head, which are screaming "F#CK you .... you loser" ... at yourself ...... come flying out your mouth & seem like they are directed at everyone else ..... but they aren't.

Full of self hatred & spewing it at everyone else.

Weird huh ??

Its literally a "living, walking, breathing, snorting, drinking, hell of insanity" in your own head.

And when you open your mouth ..... that's all that comes out

Its not pleasant for those who happen to cop the verbal sprays ... but its not really directed at you. Just remember that

waitingforhope

Hawks we think now that not only is he using cocaine but he's possibly combining it with meth also. As a precaution, when my kids get out of school we are going to my mom's house for the next few days. I'd rather just be overcautious right now. I contact my local PD and they are going to keep an eye on my house and told me if I call, they will send the police and an ambulance for him right away. The advantage of living in a small town is the PD knows everybody so they'll do what they say they'll do. So at least I have somewhat of a plan here. I'll just need to stop back to take care of my dogs. My mom won't let me bring them.

biminiblue

Can you call the school and make sure they don't release the kids to him?

waitingforhope

Yes Bimi I did that right after the last post I made. I hope I'm only overreacting.

AnvilheadII

i'd also suggest that since you ARE afraid of his mental state and what he might do that you stop trying to contact him.....don't invite trouble. i'm glad you are going to clear out....the fewer people that know about that the better. as in don't leave a note on the front door or leave the AH a message to that effect.

breathe. calm down. this is the time to think and act rationally.

Hawks

Jeez... Bad to worse for him.

But it doesn't have to be for you.

Just stay out of his way. (as others are also saying)

Praying one up for all concerned

waitingforhope

Thanks everyone! My initial instinct originally was to panic and worry about him when I found out but I won't call him or text again. I'm still worried about him in his medical condition. I'm still shocked to be honest but my girls have to come first. I just wonder his state of mind right now. He was so angry last I saw him. That had really scared me. It was a more intense kind of anger than I'd ever seen before from him. But I'm calmer now, am at my moms. Will just hang out here until I feel better about going home.

waitingforhope

Omg, I'm just sitting here at my mom's just worrying. Everybody is in bed and I'm so anxious. I'm worried about my husband in his medical condition and about my daughters and I if he should attempt to contact us. All these thoughts just so conflicting. I might go nuts yet. I hate not being in my own house and bed and not feeling like I can go home. I want to know he's okay but I don't want him to come to my house either. If just someone in his family or one of his friends would call and say he's ok, I just feel I could rest a bit easier.