denphen

Thanks

zoso77

Walk out, go somewhere to clear your head, and when you're ready to, go home.

By engaging with him, by trying to reason with him, you're fueling the fire inadvertently. You cannot reason with the unreasonable.

Fires will not survive without oxygen.

Don't give him any oxygen.

AnvilheadII

I feel like I can't bring myself to say I have a third failed attempt at life.

nobody is keeping score....life is not a competition.....it's about learning and growing. sometimes we have to take our lives in a completely different direction, a sudden hard turn to the left, in order to find a new route for our journey to continue. i'd dare to say that your life is really just beginning!

denphen

I def believe that he is withdrawling from the adderrall...it's the only thing that makes any sense. During my time with him the only time he's ever flipped out the way he is now is when he was trying to just get off of suboxone without the taper. The withdrawal symptoms were horrible with his anger. This is the 2nd time in the past 3 days that he has flipped in an insane way of not himself. He is the type to get mad and need space not get mad and break things and go out of his way to try and destroy something. Except the one time I saw him go off of subs and that withdrawal was crazy. However today not only was he hitting things and trying to break stuff he has said things hes never said to me. He told me that its my fault hes doing this and that he can't stand me or being around me. He wants to get far away from me. Normally even in his rage he will admit its his lack of whatever drug and not to take it personal and he trys to avoid me to prevent whatever from happening. I told him if he can't stop with the rage he has to go and he said he had no where to go and he can blame that on me and the kids. I said no you blame it on your drugs. The look on his face was def shocked he didnt expect to hear that from me I know. I usually try to talk him down and accept the blame just to clam him. However I wasn't feeling that I wanted to put his feelings first today. He then said he would kill himself and that I could make sure the kids knew it was my fault. I looked him dead in the eyes and I said no it would be the fault of their father being a drug addict. Maybe that was harsh but I refuse to accept blame for anything any longer. He had this addiction long before I existed in his life and he will long after I dont.

denphen

He admitted that he is hooked on the adderrall and was abusing it I was right. I told him I can't help or understand to avoid him while he withdrawals if he can't be honest about stuff. I know thats not the normal thing for them to be honest about stuff..esp pertaining to that stuff. I just hate being seen as his enemy.

zoso77

If it wasn't you, he'd target someone else. Work on not personalizing what he's doing. His behavior isn't about you. It's about him, and you should assume that this will be his baseline from here on out.

And please keep in mind that you have a choice in all of this. There is nothing that says you should tolerate being his target. There comes a time where you have to put you first.

denphen

I know it's just a hard thing to erase. I spent along time trying to convince myself my dad's actions as an alcoholic were not because of me but it's not as simple as it seems. It's even harder I think from a stand point as a wife than it is as a daughter.