Possible relapse - help me to detach
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
If it was me and I found a $700 watch, I would either take it to the police station and turn it in. Or I would put an ad in the paper "Found Watch: Call and describe". How would you like to be on the other side and lose something valuable or sentimental?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i remember the day that i lost respect for my last husband....which began the ugly decay of our marriage. he came home one day with a really nice camera and i asked him where he got it? he said it was sitting on top of the ATM at the 7-11. i said you didn't turn it into the cashier, in case somebody came BACK for it? no. WHY on earth not?
his reply.....and this really is some classic F'd Up thinking - HE took the camera instead of turning it in because otherwise the cashier would have taken it.
i hated that camera. i hated looking at it. i hated that he kept it. i hated it that after a couple of years he then SOLD it to his friend and made money off it. and i could never EVER look at mike the same again. he was a thief plain and simple. he never fessed up about it at meetings, never brought it up in that step 10 stuff about personal inventory and promptly admitting wrongs.
his reply.....and this really is some classic F'd Up thinking - HE took the camera instead of turning it in because otherwise the cashier would have taken it.
i hated that camera. i hated looking at it. i hated that he kept it. i hated it that after a couple of years he then SOLD it to his friend and made money off it. and i could never EVER look at mike the same again. he was a thief plain and simple. he never fessed up about it at meetings, never brought it up in that step 10 stuff about personal inventory and promptly admitting wrongs.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Originally Posted by KF85 
I'm just saying, in 12 years with him, there have not been any goings on like stealing etc even in the past couple years of back and forth with drugs. I highly doubt that's starting now when the most money I am missing is 10 bucks here and there. I am not being naive I am just saying. I don't know, I give up.
His addiction had grown in these 12 years. His situation has changed. He is trying to balance both worlds on a short financial leash. Addicts know no bounds when seeking drugs, they will always find a way. Stealing may be shocking to you but this fishy story about the watch just doesn't add up.
It's just a matter of time, more will be revealed to you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: RICHMOND, va
Posts: 85
I agree with Anvilhead- start focusing on yourself and the smoke will clear and you'll see the truth. For years I drove myself crazy chasing clues and hunches- I actually found a crack pipe and he was such a good liar that he made me believe that it belonged to someone else and he was on a mission to destroy it... I wanted to believe that he wasn't using. Now, when I have a gut instinct or things just don't add up, I know I'm right. It took him leaving for the last time a month ago blaming the kids and me for using (stress) for me to educate myself and finally feel stronger. You should have never participated in the purchase of that watch anyway. It is likely stolen from your husbands friend and someone is likely looking for it- if it were mine, I'd be combing craigslist for sure.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I used to be so hung up on the lies too! I was like a dog with a bone trying to get the truth. It was making myself so crazy/crazier. I realize now I was the real liar and I was lying to myself. I already knew the truth, I just didn't want to accept it. I didn't like my options.
I was shocked to learn how easy it was for my husband to get money to buy pills. He even used to post date checks to our neighborhood convenient store for an advance in cash. He would pay the owner back so the checks never got cashed. He even bought pills this way too. I was shocked to see that his friend/dealer cashed the check. Where there is a will, there is a way. Heck, by the end, the owner of the store just loaned him money because my husband always paid him back, he really liked him and told me he just couldn't ever say NO to him, although he knew why he was borrowing money. In fact, my husband once told me...."you can't stop me if I want them." Now those where truthful words!!
Trust your instincts, not your heart. Your instincts are triggered for a reason.
Ps. It's wasn't the "lies" that really had me going crazy. It was really my lack of trust and my own self doubt that was my issue.
I was shocked to learn how easy it was for my husband to get money to buy pills. He even used to post date checks to our neighborhood convenient store for an advance in cash. He would pay the owner back so the checks never got cashed. He even bought pills this way too. I was shocked to see that his friend/dealer cashed the check. Where there is a will, there is a way. Heck, by the end, the owner of the store just loaned him money because my husband always paid him back, he really liked him and told me he just couldn't ever say NO to him, although he knew why he was borrowing money. In fact, my husband once told me...."you can't stop me if I want them." Now those where truthful words!!
Trust your instincts, not your heart. Your instincts are triggered for a reason.
Ps. It's wasn't the "lies" that really had me going crazy. It was really my lack of trust and my own self doubt that was my issue.
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