Best friend is destroying his life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 3
Best friend is destroying his life
I made the decision to stop enabling him yesterday. He uses cocaine and solves his issues with alcohol. He's promised me to go to see a professional (I didn't mention NA or AA, just any professional) and he has not done so and broke plans with me last minute Monday to go because it was interfering with his social life, he asked me to meet him at a bar, I went to a nar-anon meeting instead.
Today I've gotten messages from him calling me "Jim Jones" and that i need to get a grip. I'm still standing my ground, and as strong as I am my own insecurities will come into play making me question if I made the right decision to not do anything with him that involves mood altering chemicals. (The ironic part is, I first met him at a bar...lol)
Just looking for some encouragement, I know I'm going to stick to my guns but I always feel you can never have too many resources. Thank you.
Today I've gotten messages from him calling me "Jim Jones" and that i need to get a grip. I'm still standing my ground, and as strong as I am my own insecurities will come into play making me question if I made the right decision to not do anything with him that involves mood altering chemicals. (The ironic part is, I first met him at a bar...lol)
Just looking for some encouragement, I know I'm going to stick to my guns but I always feel you can never have too many resources. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Welcome to SR.....lots of great folks here who understand.....
It's hard to watch someone in active addiction......the use of guilt trip maneuvers is pretty common so just know that and don't fall for it. Be true to yourself and take care of you.
hugs
ke
It's hard to watch someone in active addiction......the use of guilt trip maneuvers is pretty common so just know that and don't fall for it. Be true to yourself and take care of you.
hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 731
Good job in coming to grips with your enabling! It's not an easy thing to release the grip! Most of us, here, know this! UGH!!
Educate yourself.....looks like you are already gaining support though a group.
It's difficult but the best thing for you and the addict.
Educate yourself.....looks like you are already gaining support though a group.
It's difficult but the best thing for you and the addict.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 3
He is dead set about not going to NA or AA, I know if I push him in that direction he will never go. I'm focusing on the psychological aspect so being someone who sees a therapist once a week I'm selling from experience. I figure a professional is better than nothing, and maybe he/she will be more equipped to guide him to NA/AA.
Thank you all for your encouragement, after the Jim Jones comment he has been surprisingly nice and even grateful, although I don't expect that to last.
Chris
Thank you all for your encouragement, after the Jim Jones comment he has been surprisingly nice and even grateful, although I don't expect that to last.
Chris
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I agree with you on the not recommending NA or AA if he is dead set against it. It does no good when someone has set their mind like that.....it pushes them away. He'll only go if it is his decision to go and even then.....he might go only to gain ammunition of why he didn't want to go in the first place.
Perhaps he will follow your lead and recognize that it's ok to ask for help from a professional. You sound like a very good friend indeed.
hugs
ke
Perhaps he will follow your lead and recognize that it's ok to ask for help from a professional. You sound like a very good friend indeed.
hugs
ke
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
