If love alone...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 2
If love alone...
...would end his addiction, if he could see himself through our eyes, what an amazing life he could have.
May I first say that my heart goes out to all of you, those fighting each day to stay in control and to those who have family they are helpless to change. Most of all my heart aches for the parents. My pain is so great, my worry constant, and all 'just' for my brother. I cannot fathom what you parents are going through, I admire your courage and your strength.
My brother is a crack addict. It has been 25+ years that he has been addicted. I can't remember how many times I have tried to help him. I moved away from the area we grew up in and hadn't seen him in over ten years. When I found out that he was living under a bridge it tore me up inside. When he asked if I would help him (again), I said yes. He's been with me six months, the first two were wonderful. It was such a joy having him with me. He got a job, my husband and I co-signed for him to have over 3000. dollars worth of dental work done, we helped him get a car...just a few weeks after he got his car it all fell apart. He went down to our hometown with the excuse he was visiting family, while there he blew a thousand dollars on crack. We let him come back. All was well for a couple of weeks, then he disappears for several days during which time he sold his car for the drug. We let him come back. Over thanksgiving he disappeared again. Three days later he calls to ask if I'll pick him up. The weather here was awful, freezing cold and sleeting. We let him come back. This time I told him he could only stay if he'd give up his bank card and give me his paycheck each week so that I could help him handle his money. He freely admitted that once he has cash in his pocket he will seek out the drug. He agreed, it lasted two weeks. Then I find out he had used my husbands car to go buy crack, he had that crap in the car, with my husband. Had there been an accident or a traffic stop my husband would have been punished for something he had no knowledge of. He brought the crack into our home and smoked it here. We didn't let him stay. We made arrangements for him to go to a rehab center, we didn't just kick him out on the streets. He doesn't want to be there, he is keeping me on pins and needles telling me he's going to hitchhike some 600 miles back to our hometown. If he does that and gets killed on the interstate or picked up by someone who will harm him, I don't know how I will live with myself. He cannot come back here. My mind keeps playing a scene in my head, one with my Grandchild sitting here with me, so innocent and trusting...while my brother, with no regard to anyone, smokes crack in my basement apartment.
My heart is heavy even though I've walked this path with him many, many, times. I should know better...
May I first say that my heart goes out to all of you, those fighting each day to stay in control and to those who have family they are helpless to change. Most of all my heart aches for the parents. My pain is so great, my worry constant, and all 'just' for my brother. I cannot fathom what you parents are going through, I admire your courage and your strength.
My brother is a crack addict. It has been 25+ years that he has been addicted. I can't remember how many times I have tried to help him. I moved away from the area we grew up in and hadn't seen him in over ten years. When I found out that he was living under a bridge it tore me up inside. When he asked if I would help him (again), I said yes. He's been with me six months, the first two were wonderful. It was such a joy having him with me. He got a job, my husband and I co-signed for him to have over 3000. dollars worth of dental work done, we helped him get a car...just a few weeks after he got his car it all fell apart. He went down to our hometown with the excuse he was visiting family, while there he blew a thousand dollars on crack. We let him come back. All was well for a couple of weeks, then he disappears for several days during which time he sold his car for the drug. We let him come back. Over thanksgiving he disappeared again. Three days later he calls to ask if I'll pick him up. The weather here was awful, freezing cold and sleeting. We let him come back. This time I told him he could only stay if he'd give up his bank card and give me his paycheck each week so that I could help him handle his money. He freely admitted that once he has cash in his pocket he will seek out the drug. He agreed, it lasted two weeks. Then I find out he had used my husbands car to go buy crack, he had that crap in the car, with my husband. Had there been an accident or a traffic stop my husband would have been punished for something he had no knowledge of. He brought the crack into our home and smoked it here. We didn't let him stay. We made arrangements for him to go to a rehab center, we didn't just kick him out on the streets. He doesn't want to be there, he is keeping me on pins and needles telling me he's going to hitchhike some 600 miles back to our hometown. If he does that and gets killed on the interstate or picked up by someone who will harm him, I don't know how I will live with myself. He cannot come back here. My mind keeps playing a scene in my head, one with my Grandchild sitting here with me, so innocent and trusting...while my brother, with no regard to anyone, smokes crack in my basement apartment.
My heart is heavy even though I've walked this path with him many, many, times. I should know better...
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
Welcome TeaOlive. I am the Mother of a grown addict/alcoholic Son. We have gone through all of this with him since he was 19 & now he's about to turn 38. I also have a daughter that loves her brother so so very much. They were only one year apart in age so they were extremely close growing up. I've been so worried about her also through all of this torment that we've endured because of my son's addictions. Each time she had a once a lifetime happy event, he was either in the hospital dying or in jail or rehab. I'm sharing all of this to let you know that I can understand alot of what you're feeling & going through. I'm just so sorry. I do know that it is so traumatizing continually. It sounds to me like you've done More than all you could possibly do for him. We learn in my Alanon recovery group the three C's : You didn't Cause it, You can't Control it & You can't Cure it. So you are free from the responsibility of any of it because You ar Powerless over any of it. I found that to be the truth from many many people that I have met through the program from every walk of life. Please try to trust God to take care of him from now on. Let Go & Let God is another slogan we use.
If you haven't found a Meeting in your town, please do. I go once a week & it has helped me amazingly.
If you haven't found a Meeting in your town, please do. I go once a week & it has helped me amazingly.
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