Lenina

lily, so sorry about your loss. It is so sad you had to come home to find your dear beloved like that. glad it wasn't the kids.

Love from Lenina

Kat60

So very sorry lily!! (((Hugs)))

needingabreak

Lily so very sorry to hear! I've lost two dogs and a cat so far. It is so hard. They become a big part of us. Big hugs to you.

Lily1918

Oh wow! Thanks everyone!!! What an overwhelming outpouring of support!

I hope I can communicate this the right way:

In my gratitude list tonight, I wrote in my journal that I am thankful my first loss in recovery was a furbaby, and not a human loss. I'm sad, I cried a lot today. It feels a little like a practice run. I am very close to Ds grandpa and he is 87 with cancer. I really am grateful that Lady Fluff went first... oh goodness I hope that doesn't sound heartless...

Poor kitty... she was such a good kitty too.
Thanks again everyone.
Lily

allforcnm

Im sorry for your loss. I wish peace for both you and your doggie that misses Lady Fluff. Animals can form such strong attachments - give him lots of extra hugs.

FeelingGreat

Hi Lily, when I thought my cat was going to die I was devastated. Hope you and the dog are ok.

cleaninLI

Lily sorry about lady fluff! I know it hurts! Hugs to you and all who loved her! My Mom died of cancer while I was deep in my addiction. Now that I'm in recovery I'm mourning her 2 years later.

Lily1918

I am experiencing this. My AH put me on a pedestal of terminal uniqueness. He thought as soon as he went to jail I would stop using the very next day. It took me almost 2 months after he left to actually quit.

I am feeling emotions now so much stronger than I ever have and it is extrememly unsettling. Even good emotions are overwhelming.

I have never really dealt with my pain before now.

cleaninLI

Yes! Thank you! I thought maybe I'm the only crazy one who is mourning for things that happened when I was deep in addiction. It seems like instead of escaping the reality of losing my mom, using the pills only caused me to postpone all of those feelings. On top of grief is guilt. Guilt for not being emotionally present for her and my Dad, when she died and at her funeral. Thank you lily for understanding. I'm so sorry for your loss too and for your sick grandpa.

EJG123

Sorry Lily. Maybe when the time is right, you'll find another kitty who needs a forever home and it will ease your loss.

Joe Nerv

Sorry for your loss. I lost 2 this past year. A 16 year old we had to euthanize, and a 21 year old who went on his own a couple of months ago. It still hurts, I was closer to these two cats than I ever was to any animal in my life. The joy they brought me though was worth the pain, and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. Am in fact doing it over again as my wife and I just adopted 2 kitten sisters. I have nowhere near the bond yet with these girls that I did with my 2 others, but it love them dearly already and I'm looking forward to the same kind of connection.

My condolences.

Mags1

Hello Lily, so sorry for your loss, sending love and hugs x

JustAYak

Wow, 9 is pretty young for a cat. I'm sorry

Lily1918

I'm considering getting my autistic son a fishtank for Christmas now. I know there isn't really an emotional connection with fish, but he really enjoys them. We could never have a tank before because of the kitty. Maybe 10-15 gallons of fresh water. D and I got him a year long pass to the local aquarium and he loves it. I think it might be fun to maintain and decorate. I found a really cute kit at the pet store today while I was buying dogfood. It has a pirate theme with a sunken ship and treasure chest. It seems to be relatively inexpensive. My mom says to start out with the cheap goldfish until I get the hang of it.

Lady fluff was from the first litter of kittens I ever had. I was 16 when she was born under my bed. She was the runt and no one wanted her except me. She was one of those kitties who is just furniture. She would play with a string or the laser pen, but she would never ever want to be pet or held except on her own terms. (Sigh) I miss her. I am glad that she died on her own, but I have no idea why. I don't know what happened. She was fine at her check up 6 months ago. No worms. No disorders. No diseases. I swear I kept her food and water up like I should, although in a moment of guilt I went and checked it.

FeelingGreat

Hi Lily, I hope this doesn't sound insensitive, but i would recommend getting a kitten asap if your circumstances allow. It seems sort of disrespectful the previous cat, but kittens can heal a broken heart like nothing else.