Son Birthday
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Westland, Pennsylvania
Posts: 247
Son Birthday
Hello my friends yesterday was my son's birthday spent the day trying to get peace of mind. I was looking through some papers I had saved and I came upon this letter I wrote to my son when he was in Jail!! and would like to share it with you.
It was dated Jan.29,2004
Jason against my better judgement I am writing to you. this will be the last letter from me. You are truly alone now I'm not helping you to kill yourself. Maybe not visiting, not sending any money, not writing to you will make you see drugs are your life and me, daddy and Danny are not a part of that world. I just realized why you love Dana so much. She is just like you lost her kids, lost all of thlngs and she is worried about is if you will wait for her and not cheat on her. What a joke!!! You should be the last thlng on her mind. Getting her life together should be her main concern. You two feed off each other. Did any of the drug dealers offer to help you? All the money you gave them they should want you out. Don't think we me and Dad don't know you took money again. We are not that dumb and Danny is not stupid. since your world is nothing but drugs and dealers we can't be in your world. Why would you risk everything to do drugs again. Why would you risk everything to steal from from us when you knew it was not are money. Your dad has to pay it back. But that is our problem we tried to trust you and we lost.
Talked to Greg today he told me you left him for over an hour when you were with him finding drugs I guess. He told me all the friends yiou have are the scum of the earth just like you. Dana ment so much to you you bought drugs instead of putting money in her account. Just like she spent the money instead of getting you out of jail. Yep you two deserve each other the only life you two will have together is sharing jail cells. She told me all about you and the drugs when she was mad at you. Making herself out a saint. Didn't fool me she is low life and so are you. I love you and hate you at the same time. So what ever time you have to do thank yourself because you did it to your self you and you alone. When and if you get out of jail you better find a place to live maybe one of your drugy friends will take you. You are not coming here or your grandmothers.
And for her sake please leave her alone she is old and can't stand all of the things you are doing. The only time you say your going to do right is when you are in jail or in a jam that you did to your self. I can hardly believe you want to live a life of crime. How did you get this way. Don't blame anyone but yourself this is the road you decided to take you had all the chances in the world to help yourself and you wanted drugs instead. When you can face yourself and love your self and face the facts about all the things you have done their is no hope for you. Tell me about all the things you have stolen for me your dad and your son the every one else. Tell me about the crack you smoked. Tell me about the shots you have given yourself. Tell me about the lowest things you have done in your life and maybe you will convince yourself you should try to clean up your life. I can not do it for you. lying will not help you now it is the time o tell the truth to yourself and to people who have and will love you.. That does not mean Dana she hates herself too. Trying to kill herself with drugs and you right with her. Time to close this letter going to be my last until you face yourself and the truth.
Your Mother
Your Friend,
Maggiemac
Jason's mother born 10-8-1969
Died of heron overdose 11-19-2008
It was dated Jan.29,2004
Jason against my better judgement I am writing to you. this will be the last letter from me. You are truly alone now I'm not helping you to kill yourself. Maybe not visiting, not sending any money, not writing to you will make you see drugs are your life and me, daddy and Danny are not a part of that world. I just realized why you love Dana so much. She is just like you lost her kids, lost all of thlngs and she is worried about is if you will wait for her and not cheat on her. What a joke!!! You should be the last thlng on her mind. Getting her life together should be her main concern. You two feed off each other. Did any of the drug dealers offer to help you? All the money you gave them they should want you out. Don't think we me and Dad don't know you took money again. We are not that dumb and Danny is not stupid. since your world is nothing but drugs and dealers we can't be in your world. Why would you risk everything to do drugs again. Why would you risk everything to steal from from us when you knew it was not are money. Your dad has to pay it back. But that is our problem we tried to trust you and we lost.
Talked to Greg today he told me you left him for over an hour when you were with him finding drugs I guess. He told me all the friends yiou have are the scum of the earth just like you. Dana ment so much to you you bought drugs instead of putting money in her account. Just like she spent the money instead of getting you out of jail. Yep you two deserve each other the only life you two will have together is sharing jail cells. She told me all about you and the drugs when she was mad at you. Making herself out a saint. Didn't fool me she is low life and so are you. I love you and hate you at the same time. So what ever time you have to do thank yourself because you did it to your self you and you alone. When and if you get out of jail you better find a place to live maybe one of your drugy friends will take you. You are not coming here or your grandmothers.
And for her sake please leave her alone she is old and can't stand all of the things you are doing. The only time you say your going to do right is when you are in jail or in a jam that you did to your self. I can hardly believe you want to live a life of crime. How did you get this way. Don't blame anyone but yourself this is the road you decided to take you had all the chances in the world to help yourself and you wanted drugs instead. When you can face yourself and love your self and face the facts about all the things you have done their is no hope for you. Tell me about all the things you have stolen for me your dad and your son the every one else. Tell me about the crack you smoked. Tell me about the shots you have given yourself. Tell me about the lowest things you have done in your life and maybe you will convince yourself you should try to clean up your life. I can not do it for you. lying will not help you now it is the time o tell the truth to yourself and to people who have and will love you.. That does not mean Dana she hates herself too. Trying to kill herself with drugs and you right with her. Time to close this letter going to be my last until you face yourself and the truth.
Your Mother
Your Friend,
Maggiemac
Jason's mother born 10-8-1969
Died of heron overdose 11-19-2008
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Dearest MaggieMac, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. The pain and the loss is very clear in this letter, even when your son was alive. In a sense, our addicts are "dead" when they are in active addiction, since the addiction robs them of their very soul.
Sending a prayer and hug to you and your son.
TT
Sending a prayer and hug to you and your son.
TT
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