How can i get through to my girlfriend?!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2
How can i get through to my girlfriend?!!
This would be a book bigger than the phone book if i could say all i need to say about our love,relationship and past. But the short of the long is I need help. I love her! she is the mother of my two oldest children. we met at 15 and now are 32. We have been on again off agian more than i can count. We have both stuggled with drugs and alcohal. I have the criminal record to prove it. But these days i am clean and sober and its bean almost ten years for me. We had gone our seperate ways, romanticly that is. Always remaining civil with the kids and each others boyfriends/girlfriends. We recently started seing each other again and i beleive that it is still there, however... She is currently in a methadone clinic for pain pill abuse oxy, vicodine etc. There are times when she is obviousely high. And it REALLY upsets me. I think its zanex. But what ever it is she slurrs her speach, sometimes makes no sense in conversation and flat out nodds off! When i ask her about it its denial or it was perscribed for her depression. Always has an excuse chambered. Shes starting to lie about things that really i dont see the point in lieing about. I just dont know what to do if there is anything that could be done. Any suggestions would be greatly appriciated!! thank you for youre time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
sammitrue,
Welcome to SR. This ISN''T a great ride----but it is better with a map than without.
Read the stickies ( section ABOVE this one). It is a wealth of information and
wisdom. I wish you well.
Welcome to SR. This ISN''T a great ride----but it is better with a map than without.
Read the stickies ( section ABOVE this one). It is a wealth of information and
wisdom. I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 311
I am awake later than usual, read your post just before heading to bed, and felt compelled to at least welcome you to SR before getting some much needed sleep. I am adjusting to being home just a couple of weeks now after another long stint of living overseas. This post reminded me of a relative of mine who was in a relationship off and on with a high-school sweetheart.
From your post, it sounds like you feel confused, frustrated, scared and helpless. And it also sounds like you want change. The first step to making any change is knowledge. Knowledge is power. Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum and other related posts. Read up on addiction and codependency. This is the first step.
The second step is awakening, that comes with awareness and this takes time and action. Be patient, it's a different pace for everyone. Just start with learning and understanding what addiction is all about, and it will start the process. I am glad you found SR! Keep coming back. Many blessings your way.
From your post, it sounds like you feel confused, frustrated, scared and helpless. And it also sounds like you want change. The first step to making any change is knowledge. Knowledge is power. Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum and other related posts. Read up on addiction and codependency. This is the first step.
The second step is awakening, that comes with awareness and this takes time and action. Be patient, it's a different pace for everyone. Just start with learning and understanding what addiction is all about, and it will start the process. I am glad you found SR! Keep coming back. Many blessings your way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Hey Sam, Welcome to SR, I'm glad you found us! As the day people get up, you will get tons of advise on methadone. My AD wants to get on a methadone program, so I am very curious what will be said. Be strong, have a plan and gentle hugs to you! Keep ousting! TF
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: In the Middle
Posts: 632
My AH started to lie about things that were "stupid"... when there was no reason to lie. It's because drugs brings them into their own world with their own stupid rules no one else sees. I really think that she is using while on the methadone clinic. It is possible. My AH showed me it's possible to use the same day as using a seboxone. People say it can't be done... well.. it's not true.
Try to video record her when she's acting a mess. Get as much video as possible. Maybe when she's in a more sober mode you can show her... She probably will make excuse after excuse.
I pray for you. I know where your at!
Try to video record her when she's acting a mess. Get as much video as possible. Maybe when she's in a more sober mode you can show her... She probably will make excuse after excuse.
I pray for you. I know where your at!
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
You have to accept you may not be able to reach your AGF. Think of it this way: who was able to reach you before you sought recovery?
Addicts have to want to seek recovery on their own. In your case, if you AGF doesn't do it, then she doesn't do it. It's really that simple.
Read as many of the posts and sticky notes as you can so that you may get a better idea on how to detach from this situation, with love.
ZoSo
Addicts have to want to seek recovery on their own. In your case, if you AGF doesn't do it, then she doesn't do it. It's really that simple.
Read as many of the posts and sticky notes as you can so that you may get a better idea on how to detach from this situation, with love.
ZoSo
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2
I'd like to thank everyone for there time. I think that most of the time she wants to be sober.I just think that she thinks she can get away with it from time to time but she doesn't realize how completely obvious it is.especially to me. I have a tendency to get upset and shut down out of anger and disappointment.I'm going to try to work on that.
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