Why can't I let him go?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I want to go there and confront him.
NO answer will be good enough. he's a player, he's a liar, he's an addict. he was done with you and went on to do something else. the only thing he has to offer you is EXACTLY what you have been getting from him. inconsistency, abuse, lies.
I hope you used protection?
NOW is the time to go no contact. for your own mental health. he should have a Mr Yuck sticker on his forehead because to YOU he is POISON.
NO answer will be good enough. he's a player, he's a liar, he's an addict. he was done with you and went on to do something else. the only thing he has to offer you is EXACTLY what you have been getting from him. inconsistency, abuse, lies.
I hope you used protection?
NOW is the time to go no contact. for your own mental health. he should have a Mr Yuck sticker on his forehead because to YOU he is POISON.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
The beauty of letting him go is that it doesn't matter what he thinks. 
You can move on and not have to deal with his lies and addiction any more, and he will be left to deal with his own chaos without having you to blame.
You can move on and not have to deal with his lies and addiction any more, and he will be left to deal with his own chaos without having you to blame.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 311
I know it is hard to see through the confusion and chaos that addiction brings. I like the acronym f.o.g. that explains how addiction keeps us in a cloud of fear, obligation, and guilt as if we owe them our very lives of which they will gladly take. It makes us do things we would otherwise not do. While there is nothing you can do about his actions, you can take care of yourself.
Getting tested for STDs and using protection is wise for your health. All mature couples get tested before, during, and after relationships. Everyone begged and pleaded with me to protect myself. This was the best advice I received. Russian Roulette is a fun game if you have a lot of money to throw away and don't mind the odds that you will likely lose every time or end up with a fatherless child as the prize.
He will find other tools to use to meet his needs. Because that is what addicts do. Real love is not in the cards with an active addict. It is all smoke and mirrors, which is fun and exciting for a little while, until it's not. I have learned that it is save yourself- or kill yourself trying to save them, please them, and mommy them to death. You can do better. I can do better. We all can do better.
Let him sleep in the bed he made. You don't have to sleep in it with him, make it for him, or do his dirty laundry for him. His problem. And please don't buy what he is selling about you being the chaos. It's just that if you do not support him in his isolated bubble of addiction and pleasure seeking, of course he is going to see you as the problem. F' it- what do you really have to lose by cutting him off and letting him go? Easier said than done, but I have faith you will get the answers you need in time. Go easy on yourself. It is a steep learning curve here on SR.
Getting tested for STDs and using protection is wise for your health. All mature couples get tested before, during, and after relationships. Everyone begged and pleaded with me to protect myself. This was the best advice I received. Russian Roulette is a fun game if you have a lot of money to throw away and don't mind the odds that you will likely lose every time or end up with a fatherless child as the prize.
He will find other tools to use to meet his needs. Because that is what addicts do. Real love is not in the cards with an active addict. It is all smoke and mirrors, which is fun and exciting for a little while, until it's not. I have learned that it is save yourself- or kill yourself trying to save them, please them, and mommy them to death. You can do better. I can do better. We all can do better.
Let him sleep in the bed he made. You don't have to sleep in it with him, make it for him, or do his dirty laundry for him. His problem. And please don't buy what he is selling about you being the chaos. It's just that if you do not support him in his isolated bubble of addiction and pleasure seeking, of course he is going to see you as the problem. F' it- what do you really have to lose by cutting him off and letting him go? Easier said than done, but I have faith you will get the answers you need in time. Go easy on yourself. It is a steep learning curve here on SR.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
