BlueChair

I was supposed to go see my husband today for a visit at the rehab place. Everything is confusing, I got a call last night from the advisor there and he said that my husband was at the hospital, and he was ok but had had some kind of problem and smashed up a lamp and broke a window in his room, had to have stitches in his arm, and they had to xray his hand to make sure it wasnt broken. My husband has never ever been violent, or been unable to handle anger issues. I asked if I should go to the hospital and he said it wasnt necessary, then he called me later and said they were back at the rehab, his hand was not broken but would be swollen. I asked if I could talk to him and they said to wait until today might be best, he wasnt aware they even called me. This morning my husband called and told me what happened, and he was crying saying he doesnt know what is wrong with him, he is depressed, and everything hurts. He asked me not to come today because he doesnt want me to see him like this, and then asked me to please come tomorrow. He says he cant sleep, which is weird because I have been having nightmares myself, and not sleeping. I talked to the doctor and he said it is some type of withdrawal symptom, and not to be alarmed. He was surprised my husband asked me not to come today, and said he thought he could use a visit, was glad to hear he asked me to come tomorrow.
I dont understand because this is his third week there, and why is this happening now?

pravchaw

Hi BlueChair, Your husband may be starting to go thru P.A.W.S.

BlueChair

Thank you for this ! I read a little and will go back and go through all of it, and ask about it tomorrow when I see his doctor. It sounds like this could be what is happening. He is about 5 weeks clean now, and he has been mildly depressed even last week, but it sounds like it got worse all the sudden. I hope to find out what caused him to act like this, I cant help but think something specific must have happened, but I was upset about his being hurt, and hearing him sound so fragile, and I didnt ask the right questions. There is so much involved with all this, and that article said something about paws could happen for up to two years.

pinkdog

Hi Blue, I withdrew from alcohol. I had PAWS too. From my experience, it does not have to be anything specific, just the body adjusting. I am glad that he is in the rehab. My thoughts and best wishes are there for you.

BlueChair

I have been reading more about PAWS. They say dont go on the internet, now I know why. I have read it can happen at intervals like 30, 60 , 90 days up to 2 years but usually peaks at 3-6 months for most people. Maybe length of use has something to do with it to, but i havent found anything on that yet. What is scary is that they say it is a major factor in relapse. I had a moment where Im thinking I am glad he is there and they know how to deal with this, because what if he was home? i could not stop him from giving in to a craving to ease the symptoms and then he would be back to the beginning. But what happens when he comes home? I guess they are supposed to help him learn how to deal with it by that time. It sounds like this could be the cause. I am going to ask about it tomorrow for sure. Talked to my husband for a few minutes earlier and he said he was feeling a little better, but very tired. When I see him tomorrow, I hope I dont cry when i see his arm stitched up and maybe a huge swollen hand.

pravchaw

Hi blue chair, take care of yourself. Lapses and relapses are part of the learning process. Educate yourself as you may have to deal with them. They are disappointing but do not have to devastating.

BlueChair

You were right about the PAWS symptoms. I had a discussion with the doctor before i saw my husband, and I asked him if it was post acute withdrawal before he even had a chance to explain. He was impressed that I had been reading about these things. I told him about the books I have already read, and how I completed everything they gave me, and I told him about the books that are on my list to read. He said it was good for both of us that I am wanting to learn and understand. He said what he is going through right now is normal, but its not often they have someone who smashes things, and he thinks it is because he is holding so much in, and he is having clear trouble talking in his sessions. He doesnt like to talk about his feelings all that much because he always take things and holds them and says everything is ok. And then I saw my husband and he seemed depressed. He said he doesnt think he can do all this and he wants to go home. And we talked about how he would feel if he was home and didnt complete the rehab, and he agreed he has to work on all of this once and for all, but he is having a hard time. It hurts seeing him like this, and his I arm has a big gash and they had to put stitches and not glue. We were able to spend most of the afternoon together, and he seemed better before I left. Its so hard ! I went ahead and talked to one of the counselors there and signed up for next week. I told my husband I was going to do this, and he started feeling bad about everything he is putting me through. I mean I told him it was not his fault, and we are in this together, and I will do whatever I need to do, learn, and we will get through this. He has the biggest responsibility here and I know how hard it is, but I know he can get past this hump and will start feeling better. It seems like there is so much ahead of him and I would never tell him but I get hit with being really scared especially when i read about people relapsing, and how many rehabs some people have to do. Hope counseling helps me feel better, never did it before.

pravchaw

Blue chair, psychotherapy might be a good idea for your husband. It will help him figure out what are the underlying causes of his helplessness which are driving his addiction.

BlueChair

Im sort of new with all of the wording on therapy, but the rehab he is in offers a big variety of things. They say the foundation of treatment is based on psychotherapy and I know it is supposed to deal with a lot of things including why he started using drugs at the very beginning which was towards the end of college for him. He stopped on his own, but never got any help for it and so I guess he was more in limbo than anything else and it rose back up. The rehab has a lot of neat things some I wish I could try. I am going to have my first counseling session next week, and I was told we will be doing family therapy before too long. Thank you for your reply, Im trying to learn as much as I can, been reading here, reading books. Anytime you have a suggestion or anything Im open to it.