did i get played?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
My problem is I still have ALL her stuff and haven't decided what to do with it... Did I get played? of course, and so did you, ask yourself one VERY simple question, did you ever really feel loved?
did you feel in your heart loved? Or, just lucky if she gave you some good attention?
RedBaron, my condolences on the hard way you learned. I have to learn the hard way
too, but I do get it. Sorry for your pain, but so glad you are free.
What do you want to do with her112t stuff?
Do the right thing for YOU.
theotherhalf, yes, the answer is leave it alone.
closure? that is a buzz word used by media mavens.
Live the 12 steps for codependents, and leave her out of your life.
It will never, ever get better.
Beth
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 52
so i wanted to thank you all for answering my questions...haven't had time to come on here and type up everything i wanted to....against advice, im stubborn, i called her cause i wanted to know what was up. someone was talking to me and they were saying that wouldn't you think as she went through the rehab that she would be wanting to get back together and trying to get her life back on track to being back with me and starting a life together. so that was in my head and i said well might as well call and find out...either way i would have the answer i was looking for and can then move on.
so i called and we were cordial to each other...pleasantries were exchanged, then i asked what she was thinking. everything i said above i said to her...she then told me that she didn't think that were had the same spiritual connection..this was the girl who claimed to have all this spirituality and never once did i see her doing a thing. she said that she had asked me to meditate with her and i laughed in her face...i knew she was high when she was asking so i didn't really take her seriously. i then asked when she started having these feelings like were weren't good together and she told me when she started doing dope again. how that makes sense since all dope does is **** with your mind ill never know.
i then asked about her "emotional friend" that her mom told me about. she told me that they had gone on a few dates , which probably meant they had ******, knowing her, and that it just happened. how someone can go from telling you that your their world and would do anything and blah blah blah to now not wanting anything to do with me is just beyond me. she said she told me all those thing at the end because she felt guilty for everything she had done. that i wasn't emotional enough for her, i was to cold. i was the one trying to talk some sense into her when she would be crying for hours and having temper tantrums but im the cold one. im sorry but after the first 30 min of crying it gets a little frustrating to listen to.
if i had a recording from last year when all the same things happened it would sound the same, yet she came crying back like 2 months later saying how wrong she was and she wanted to be with me....
that phone call gave me al the answers i needed to know that the BPD, both bi and border, were def there and that i am moving on...it was good closure for me and ive been feeling better and things are starting to pick up....that doesn't mean that i have sad days and miss her, but im trying to embrace those emotions and let them pass...her number is blocked so she cant call and im going through her mom to get the rest of my stuff back and when i get it back she will be blocked also....im still going to nar-anon as much as i don't want to but every time i go i take something positive out of there and CODA as well. things will get better and as i was told by many i dodged a bullet and im def believing it now.
so i called and we were cordial to each other...pleasantries were exchanged, then i asked what she was thinking. everything i said above i said to her...she then told me that she didn't think that were had the same spiritual connection..this was the girl who claimed to have all this spirituality and never once did i see her doing a thing. she said that she had asked me to meditate with her and i laughed in her face...i knew she was high when she was asking so i didn't really take her seriously. i then asked when she started having these feelings like were weren't good together and she told me when she started doing dope again. how that makes sense since all dope does is **** with your mind ill never know.
i then asked about her "emotional friend" that her mom told me about. she told me that they had gone on a few dates , which probably meant they had ******, knowing her, and that it just happened. how someone can go from telling you that your their world and would do anything and blah blah blah to now not wanting anything to do with me is just beyond me. she said she told me all those thing at the end because she felt guilty for everything she had done. that i wasn't emotional enough for her, i was to cold. i was the one trying to talk some sense into her when she would be crying for hours and having temper tantrums but im the cold one. im sorry but after the first 30 min of crying it gets a little frustrating to listen to.
if i had a recording from last year when all the same things happened it would sound the same, yet she came crying back like 2 months later saying how wrong she was and she wanted to be with me....
that phone call gave me al the answers i needed to know that the BPD, both bi and border, were def there and that i am moving on...it was good closure for me and ive been feeling better and things are starting to pick up....that doesn't mean that i have sad days and miss her, but im trying to embrace those emotions and let them pass...her number is blocked so she cant call and im going through her mom to get the rest of my stuff back and when i get it back she will be blocked also....im still going to nar-anon as much as i don't want to but every time i go i take something positive out of there and CODA as well. things will get better and as i was told by many i dodged a bullet and im def believing it now.
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