legna

Here's my background: I am an adult child of an alcoholic who went no contact with my mother over twenty years ago. I came in to AA thirty-five years ago; got seven years sober and relapsed after returning home from the military. Excuses are just that but the maintenance of a spiritual condition is rather difficult when you are killing people. I stayed out for seven years after that. I returned in 1992 and have been clean and sober since.

I will be the first person to tell you that time clean does not equal recovery but I think I would have to be brain dead to not be able to recognize recovery after this all this time. Okay, on to my point...

The man who I believe has the best recovery I have ever seen in any program was just asked to find another meeting in this town of one meeting. I spend a fair amount of time reminding myself that he's just human - something I have never found myself doing with any other person. I'm shocked. I'm completely blown away. I'm appalled. Apparently I'm not speechless though... <weak smile>

This fellow talks recovery in a straight forward yet humorous way... I don't know how to say this without coming across arrogant, but in my little corner of the world, he's the only one in the rooms that still has something I want that I haven't got yet. And he was asked to leave and not come back.

The straw that broke the camel's back for the group was when, after the meeting, he suggested that a group conscience be taken to see if we should continue to close the meeting with the Lord's Prayer or perhaps consider using a more general prayer that would not potentially alienate a newcomer of a different faith than Christianity.

I was not at the meeting (I was in the hospital) but what happened was explained to me by the people who asked him to leave - not him. In fact, he hasn't said a word to anyone about the issue as far as I can tell. I did make the next meeting and during the secretary's report the issue of prayer was brought up for discussion.

Does anyone here have a problem with saying the Lord's Prayer at the end of the meeting? <pause 5-10 seconds> Okay then, I suggest that we amend the meeting format to say, after the moment of silence, "We will now close with the Lord's prayer. If you have a problem with that you can leave now."
I made a counter suggestion to amend it to, "We will now close with the Lord's prayer for those who care to join." which was implemented but...idk...just wow.

I've accepted that there's not a lot of understanding about recovery and even Nar-Anon within our local area...I mean, I accepted that before this happened. I guess it comes down to this: If I can be part of the solution, I want to be. If there isn't a way that I can be, then I'm going to give up the meeting and go to Al-Anon for issues surrounding the addict in my life.

I'm at the 'wisdom to know the difference' stage and I am asking for your collective wisdom because I am lacking.

laurie6781

Sounds like the perfect timing to start a 2nd meeting, especially since you say that there is only 1 meeting.

Talk to fellow that was asked to leave and then put up some flyers and be prepared to maybe be the only 2 at the meeting for up to 6 months, but it will grow.

AA in Los Angeles grew by leaps and bounds after a resentment was had by one person at the only meeting in L.A. and he started a second meeting.

Many meetings are started this way, either on a 'resentment' and/or a disagreement. lol

I have lived here over 20+ now and in that time have been instrumental in starting 6 new meetings, the last one a year ago, the "Back to Basics" meeting which has now turned into 2 meetings, roflmao

For as large an area as we are now 100,000+ we only had 5 Alanon meetings a week and after the AA "Back To Basics" meeting was started last year, several in Alanon wanted to do the same, and we did!

It is not hard to start a meeting, Just need a coffee pot and a space. Usually one of the Churches in an area will be willing to rent a room once a week at a very reasonable rate.

Just a thought.

Love and hugs,

Kindeyes

Legna
There's a lot of wisdom in Laurie's words. And it IS really easy to start another meeting!

We've started three new meetings in the last year. It wasn't done due to resentments but was done to help the fellowship grow and provide options to the people in our community. So now I have an option to go Sunday, Monday, Tuesday or Thursday Nar-Anon meetings!!!! How cool is that?!?!

Rather than look at the situation as a problem, perhaps you could view it as an opportunity.

As far as the Lord's Prayer goes........it is said at the end of a lot of AA meetings. I researched it a while back and found that Bill W had an opinion on it. He was not opposed based on group conscience. However, with that being said, I would have agreed with the man in your meeting. We close with the Serenity Prayer since it is a basic foundation of our program and somewhat generic. IMHO, the Lord's Prayer is definitively Christian based and is contradictory to the basic suggestion of how to keep a meeting healthy. But with that said, if my group was closing with the Lord's Prayer and group conscience said that was the way it was going to be, I would accept that. Tradition One. (And if it bothered me over much, I would start a new meeting! lol)

You've got a great foundation and it sounds like the gentleman who was asked to leave does as well. Starting a new meeting on another night sounds like a very viable solution and would be providing another option for those in need.

gentle hugs
ke

Baloo

Legna, that would be awesome if you got to have a 2nd meeting. You would have your favorite member to start it with and maybe it would grow in a way the other meeting couldn't. Like a different schedule that could attract different people. Maybe some things would be different in the format *shrug* and would work better for a different crowd.

Idunno, but I'm glad somebody suggested that to you and I'm glad to hear it is easy to start a group.