Can't deal with it,need to share
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 178
Can't deal with it,need to share
My ex is addicted to Heroin again after 3 months clean.
He came and met our daughter and I at the playground tonight and it was kind
of fun but when we got back to my place he was angry at me cause I will not
be spending my birthday with him (and our daughter) at a restaurant as we had planned before he refused to sign a permission letter for me to take our daughter
camping across the border. When he refused to let us go camping I had to see
a lawyer and file some papers...I felt that he was doing me wrong by refusing
me that as I take care of our daughter full time so I made other plans for my
birthday (leaving earlier to meet my friends to go camping now that I have the
permission).
So I had to ask my ex to leave because he seemed very angry. He is not violent at all but I just couldn't deal with him being there, sitting on my couch, all angry.
He left and was crying. It breaks my heart. He is very depressed right now so I feel bad but I just couldn't deal with him being here.
My daughter was crying when he left which made me feel so much more like the bad guy for asking him to leave.
I feel like calling him but am trying to just forget about it.
He came and met our daughter and I at the playground tonight and it was kind
of fun but when we got back to my place he was angry at me cause I will not
be spending my birthday with him (and our daughter) at a restaurant as we had planned before he refused to sign a permission letter for me to take our daughter
camping across the border. When he refused to let us go camping I had to see
a lawyer and file some papers...I felt that he was doing me wrong by refusing
me that as I take care of our daughter full time so I made other plans for my
birthday (leaving earlier to meet my friends to go camping now that I have the
permission).
So I had to ask my ex to leave because he seemed very angry. He is not violent at all but I just couldn't deal with him being there, sitting on my couch, all angry.
He left and was crying. It breaks my heart. He is very depressed right now so I feel bad but I just couldn't deal with him being here.
My daughter was crying when he left which made me feel so much more like the bad guy for asking him to leave.
I feel like calling him but am trying to just forget about it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 178
So glad i didn't call him earlier though he just called and used that to say that obviously
I didn't care about him.
He told me he thought I was power tripping and using his daughter against him.
He thinks that him being very angry sitting on the couch is just fine. I told him
that he could be angry at me but somewhere else, especially that we can't really talk
about that stuff in front of our 3 year old.
He told me he loved me so much through our relationship even when he wasn't all
that nice to me (??) and that even though I was always super nice to him I never loved him (??).
He said his therapist agrees that i am power tripping.
It all hurts.
Yet if he wants to believe that I never loved him I guess he can go ahead.
I sure ain't going to try to change his mind.
He told me that he would never cut us off financially (he is wealthy) because he
loves us and yet a little later in the conversation he said he was wise to me and hinted
he would cut us off.Oh well. If he does I guess I'll have to apply for child support which would be a lot less than we get but at least it would be a sure thing.
I have to pack for our trip now but my head is just buzzing with this insanity.
How to let it go?
I'm trying to picture sitting by a fire in a couple of days...
I am so glad I won't have to see him for a couple of weeks after this evening.
Even though I somewhat expect he'll want us to go for dinner tomorrow night, just like
everything was fine.
Sorry for the rambling but he is really getting to me tonight.
Maybe cause I am stressed out and very tired and haven't had a break from my daughter in forever. (note to self; make finding a babysitter a priority when we get back from camping).
I didn't care about him.
He told me he thought I was power tripping and using his daughter against him.
He thinks that him being very angry sitting on the couch is just fine. I told him
that he could be angry at me but somewhere else, especially that we can't really talk
about that stuff in front of our 3 year old.
He told me he loved me so much through our relationship even when he wasn't all
that nice to me (??) and that even though I was always super nice to him I never loved him (??).
He said his therapist agrees that i am power tripping.
It all hurts.
Yet if he wants to believe that I never loved him I guess he can go ahead.
I sure ain't going to try to change his mind.
He told me that he would never cut us off financially (he is wealthy) because he
loves us and yet a little later in the conversation he said he was wise to me and hinted
he would cut us off.Oh well. If he does I guess I'll have to apply for child support which would be a lot less than we get but at least it would be a sure thing.
I have to pack for our trip now but my head is just buzzing with this insanity.
How to let it go?
I'm trying to picture sitting by a fire in a couple of days...
I am so glad I won't have to see him for a couple of weeks after this evening.
Even though I somewhat expect he'll want us to go for dinner tomorrow night, just like
everything was fine.
Sorry for the rambling but he is really getting to me tonight.
Maybe cause I am stressed out and very tired and haven't had a break from my daughter in forever. (note to self; make finding a babysitter a priority when we get back from camping).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 178
And our daughter was SO HAPPY to see him at the playground.
I heard her tell another girl "My daddy is here! He came to see me"
and she was just calling Daddy! Daddy!
He is supposed to get treated again in july, I hope he does.
I know I am powerless over that but I just have to hope nonetheless for my little girl
who loves her daddy and doesn't have any ideas why we don't all live together.
I heard her tell another girl "My daddy is here! He came to see me"
and she was just calling Daddy! Daddy!
He is supposed to get treated again in july, I hope he does.
I know I am powerless over that but I just have to hope nonetheless for my little girl
who loves her daddy and doesn't have any ideas why we don't all live together.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I'm sorry for all you have been through and that your daughter had to witness all this. The good part is that she witnessed her mother setting a boundary and sticking to it, not allowing him to remain when he was angry and toxic.
His words sound very manipulative and all about him. Sad.
Your actions, on the other hand, are healthy and wise.
Keep taking care of you and your daughter.
Hugs
His words sound very manipulative and all about him. Sad.
Your actions, on the other hand, are healthy and wise.
Keep taking care of you and your daughter.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
He said his therapist agrees that i am power tripping.
Addicts are extremely adept at spinning things. They'll tell a story, leaving out important details, exaggerating other details....so that the story works to their own benefit. Part of this is human nature and we all do it to some extent but an addict can really turn thins around to fabricate a whole different picture.
I agree with Ann. His words sound very manipulative.
Take care of you and your daughter.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by February13 
He is supposed to get treated again in july, I hope he does.
Also, are you setting up boundaries? I like the fact that you told him to leave when he was angry. I know it may seem like "you're the bad guy" to your daughter, and to him, but it was for the best. Don't beat yourself up over it.
Do something for yourself today. xo
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
He's manipulating you. I'm sure he is in pain. My xah use to leave supervised visits and cry. This always confused me. If you are hurting and in pain why didn't he just do the right thing? Or, was it a show to get me to feel sorry for him so he could get what he wanted? Either way I didn't bite. Then, I become the cold b#$%&! Such a pain. Beyond.
And my x said all those same things to me. He was so angry that I had full custody and he only had supervised visits. It was all my fault. Blah blah blah...he use to threaten me that he was going to take me back to court n get custody. This he knew would always strike fear into me. So he loved to say this. Finally, after he was Mia for the summer and behind on child support he said this to my face, and he saw I wasn't scared. He knew he had nothing to hurt me with anymore. Just remember its all manipulation. If you don't give them what they want, they will say anything they can to get you to give them what they want. Its exhausting, hurtful and painful. Bottom line, its unhealthy.
He has issues he needs to deal with.
You need to focus on you and your child.
Ignore him as much as you can. Its the same old
And my x said all those same things to me. He was so angry that I had full custody and he only had supervised visits. It was all my fault. Blah blah blah...he use to threaten me that he was going to take me back to court n get custody. This he knew would always strike fear into me. So he loved to say this. Finally, after he was Mia for the summer and behind on child support he said this to my face, and he saw I wasn't scared. He knew he had nothing to hurt me with anymore. Just remember its all manipulation. If you don't give them what they want, they will say anything they can to get you to give them what they want. Its exhausting, hurtful and painful. Bottom line, its unhealthy.
He has issues he needs to deal with.
You need to focus on you and your child.
Ignore him as much as you can. Its the same old
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