EJG123

Hi Jax,
I'm the mom of a 25 yr old heroin-addicted D. I remember the sadness of it too well. There came a time when I was cried out and knew I had to move on and let go. She stopped driving me crazy with calls when she realized that I was not going to enable her in any way. She is still in active addiction but we respect each others' boundaries and get along because of it.

Jax67

Well week 3 of no contact with my daughter. I'm not sure where she's really at,Rehab I think but jail sounds more like it, why I think that I don't know. The phone stopped ringing so I really have no idea. I wonder how her children will ever know what a beautiful person thier mommy was. I wonder why they think she is not around, I wonder why they have to go through this, I can't imagine not having my mom around when I was little. I feel sorry so so sorry for them for me for all of us

lizwig

I'm sorry Jax. Yes, those poor beautiful children. I hope she can turn around and be the mother you know deep down she wants to be. Miracles happen every day. I'm not sure where you live but our local county jail has a roster that lists everyone currently there, as well as pending charges. I'm not going to lie....I've found my son on there....a lot. You might google search your county and "jail roster". I've been trying not to look as much as I used to because ultimately he typically calls when he's there and it began to feel compulsive...but it may give you some peace. My prayer is she is working hard at rehab and you will hear from her when she begins to make amends. Big hug to you today.

Jax67

Thank You for your prayers, why can't something good and pure just happen just once even for a little while.Everyday is just a nightmare over and over and over please God please..... how can this be real how can this really be happening

lizwig

Hi Jax, I've asked myself those questions many times. Apparently it isn't time. Do you attend any meetings? I really have found them helpful. Although it can feel like our situations are unique, once I made the decision to start doing something for ME....I found I can relate to and get something useful out of nearly every story someone shares. In fact, the majority of things that have helped me have come from either this forum or Al-anon members. Something else that I've found helpful is writing in a gratitude journal each day. I do believe there were times when I got so overwhelmed and mired down by the situation that I failed to notice there was still a lot of good in my life. By acknowledging and recognizing those it has helped to keep things in perspective. I recognize my son may never come through this...but I believe in miracles. While I wait to see if one occurs I do anything and everything I can to maintain some form of serenity. It's a lot of work...some days more than others. But it is time well spent v. time spent worrying. Such a balance. Give those lovely children all the extra love and stability you can give them. I'm guessing if they see you as strong and confident in your approach to this it will help them immensly. If they see you suffering...it could make them feel even more insecure. Just a thought. From one momma to another. Sending you strength today and always.

crazybabie

Jax, I found that I stopped noticing the good the small things simple as the pretty blues of the sky the green of the grass then the bigger picture God has a plan you somehow found this site your new journey has started have you began any meetings yet? As, for your daughter no one can say what she will do but miracles occur all the time and pure? Look at those precious kids.

EJG123

Het Jax,
Have patience. Something good will come but in its own time. Sending you some prayers for healing and strength.

Ilovemysonjj

Dear Jax, thank God each day your daughter continues to breathe. While they are breathing, there is hope! We all have a bottom, once you face your deepest fears and sorrows, it seems life gets a bit better. I dialogue with my HP all the time and ask for peace and joy. I also revel in the smallest of miracles as they are like gifts and shed light that my HP hears me. We understand and are walking with you Jax.
TT

Jax67

Well its been well over a month since i talked to my daughter, as i watched my little 3 year old grandson walk up the steps today with his little back pack I wondered how she could ever leave him without a mommy God why???? My heart aches..... I know she will contact me again sometime. I dont think i want her to. She has single handedly shattered to many lives. I so long for better times....