How do I forgive myself....???
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 505
That's horrible, broken!! To not be there for you when you needed him the most, and then to use the car you got him to go see another woman?? That is just unforgivable!!
"...life doesn’t always go the way we planned, we don't always get the ones we love, but you have to believe that God has a better plan for us…" Thank you for this, broken!! It's definitely something I need to remember and believe in!!
And you're right - their awful childhoods, bad relationships, etc. do NOT give them an excuse to hurt other people. Really, who DOESN'T have stuff in their past that has hurt them and damaged them? But not everyone goes around thinking it gives them the right to hurt other people. My therapist said pretty much the same thing you said - that he feels there is something so much better for me out there, I just have to be open to receiving it. God, I sure hope so....!! But I know, I know - I have to work on myself FIRST!!
"...life doesn’t always go the way we planned, we don't always get the ones we love, but you have to believe that God has a better plan for us…" Thank you for this, broken!! It's definitely something I need to remember and believe in!!
And you're right - their awful childhoods, bad relationships, etc. do NOT give them an excuse to hurt other people. Really, who DOESN'T have stuff in their past that has hurt them and damaged them? But not everyone goes around thinking it gives them the right to hurt other people. My therapist said pretty much the same thing you said - that he feels there is something so much better for me out there, I just have to be open to receiving it. God, I sure hope so....!! But I know, I know - I have to work on myself FIRST!!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 505
Originally Posted by mstrust 
...and luckily, not all men find that sort of thing attractive.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 178
I can't tell you whether Alanon is for you or not but the alcoholic doesn't have
to currently be in your life. Your "qualifier" could even be your dead mom or dead
husband or even further removed. My mother's dad died when I was 2. I didn't really
know him. He was an alcoholic and pill popper. My mom had a very crazy childhood
and learned codependency. Later in life she was very codependent to my dad. My dad
drank a bit.Might be an alcoholic. There's a history of alcoholism in his family as well.
I feel that both of my parents were emotionally unavailable while I grew up.
Even if I never had met my addict EX I feel that I would
have belonged in Alanon.
One of my sister is married to a man who is emotionally unavailable and a
workaholic. I feel that my sister could still belong in Alanon because of the history
of alcoholism in our family.
Alcoholism is a family disease. Alanon is supposed to be for the friends and families of
alcoholics but many chose to see addiction as an extension of alcoholism.
to currently be in your life. Your "qualifier" could even be your dead mom or dead
husband or even further removed. My mother's dad died when I was 2. I didn't really
know him. He was an alcoholic and pill popper. My mom had a very crazy childhood
and learned codependency. Later in life she was very codependent to my dad. My dad
drank a bit.Might be an alcoholic. There's a history of alcoholism in his family as well.
I feel that both of my parents were emotionally unavailable while I grew up.
Even if I never had met my addict EX I feel that I would
have belonged in Alanon.
One of my sister is married to a man who is emotionally unavailable and a
workaholic. I feel that my sister could still belong in Alanon because of the history
of alcoholism in our family.
Alcoholism is a family disease. Alanon is supposed to be for the friends and families of
alcoholics but many chose to see addiction as an extension of alcoholism.
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