He has to pee today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 36
He has to pee today
So ABF/AXBF.. Still not sure what to call him although I know what I want to call him (AXBF).. Anyway, he is in drug court and his color was drawn today (yes, I call the information line to see if his color is drawn). This means he has to go in and take a UA. And I feel glad about this. Because I think he has been using for the past week on and off. Is it sad that I'm glad? I've confronted himseveral times about him using but he denies every time. I know he can't possibly be getting away with this when he has random drug screens several times a week. He says if he fails they arrest him on the spot. I asked a former employee of the drug court system if that was true and she said they will wait until his court date and let the judge handle him. I want him to get clean again because I know what happens when he starts up like this. We'll see....
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 265
They have ways of cheating the tests.
On the other side of this though You know if you ask out right, .... they are going to lie and deny it. Instead of asking, just state your concern that he has slipped or fallen off the wagon. That you know he can beet it if he wants to bad enough to be with you. Don't try to trap him in a lie because an Addict will lie.
On the other side of this though You know if you ask out right, .... they are going to lie and deny it. Instead of asking, just state your concern that he has slipped or fallen off the wagon. That you know he can beet it if he wants to bad enough to be with you. Don't try to trap him in a lie because an Addict will lie.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 36
I have said things to him like "you know if you need help I'm here to help you. But I can't help if you aren't honest with me about whatever you may be having trouble with." but no success.. Bless his heart he is just having such a hard time right now. If only my magic wand wasnt in the shop.
))
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 265
You can't help him your too close.
He needs help from a professional, or someone that has been through it in NA.
As your wand is in the shop, I as you to seek help through Nar-Anon or Al-Anon. Through the family group you will learn how to deal with the disease of addiction. There is no magic, no magic pill or answer to this disease. It is a road that they must walk alone. A mount an that they alone have to climb. Then and only then can you help them to keep with the program.
Learn the 12 steps, and work them. He also needs the 12 steps but he must be willing. He will in his own time , but if you are working them he will see. He might even see the light in it.
Be well,
He needs help from a professional, or someone that has been through it in NA.
As your wand is in the shop, I as you to seek help through Nar-Anon or Al-Anon. Through the family group you will learn how to deal with the disease of addiction. There is no magic, no magic pill or answer to this disease. It is a road that they must walk alone. A mount an that they alone have to climb. Then and only then can you help them to keep with the program.
Learn the 12 steps, and work them. He also needs the 12 steps but he must be willing. He will in his own time , but if you are working them he will see. He might even see the light in it.
Be well,
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Burnsville, MN
Posts: 966
My son spent almost an entire year taking random UAs for drug court . . . I don't know if they were dirty or he bought stuff to cheat them, but he never got arrested and I know he wasn't sober most of that time. Just saying . . . don't count on the court to solve problems for you. Make your decisions about what you want in your life and act on it.
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