fallingtogether

Hi all, I am in active recovery, began in October and relapsed for a minute in feb. back to day 57 again. Anyways my husband is a marijuana addict and I am really struggling with setting boundaries and holding my ground. My drinking was an escape from everything that drug has done to my life. Endless fights and finger pointing, suspicions of affairs, lies, and downright mean. I am at the end of my rope watching him self destruct and I am working on setting boundaries and voicing what I will accept and will not accept from him. I know that this is something that unfortunately takes practice, but how did you all know when enough was enough? I romanticize about divorce, but something I telling me not to go yet. I'm so tired and confused. Any help would be great! Thanks

lizwig

Good for you on your own recovery! That's awesome and sounds like you jumped right back on the horse after your relapse. I'm sorry I can't offer any advice on relationships. My qualifier is my son. I do know there are some people in recovery who also attend my al-anon meeting. I think often times the lines within addiction get so blurred both parties need help in detaching etc. It's got to be hard when you are fighting every day to stay sober and have to look at his use. Also keep in mind the boundaries you intend to set are for you....to protect yourself. You've really got to be proud of how far you've come...keep the focus on you and improving your life...regardless if he chooses to use or not.

fallingtogether

Thanks Liz. I appreciate your kind words. It's funny, I never saw myself as selfish while drinking, but in recovery I am so selfish. Lol I do realize boundaries are for me not him. And I told him today that I can't protect him or enable him anymore. I do feel like god is working through me, and with me, because I do feel very strong today. He's been out of town for 8 days working. Still going to be gone for 3 more. This time apart is killing me. I want to be this strong when he is here! One day at a time!