My son not stepping up .. for Dogs sake..
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Location: Caucasian;West Coast; Husband sometimes breathes fire; hence his nickname Dragon & mine Mrs. Dragon
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My son not stepping up .. for Dogs sake..
I got a call Friday from the vets office. I am listed as a contact and have taken the dog to appointments while my son works.
The dog was supposed to get it's treatment on Wednesday, and he called to cancel. He was supposed to then take the dog Thursday and didnt show up. They can't reach him.
My son has been shutting down from the dog these last couple weeks even though the dog is doing well. My husband has been encouraging me to step back from assisting him with the dog so much. To let him arrange the appointments according to his work schedule & face this issue with the dog. I agreed, thinking maybe I was preventing him from stepping up by helping when he asked. But then when I told my husband about the vets office calling me, he simply agreed my son had been too busy at work that week.
The vets office asked to schedule for Monday and I said I would handle it. I talked to my son and did the responsibility speech about caring for a pet. I feel I have to speak up for the dog and its medical needs in this case. I asked if he was going to take the dog, and he said that he would take care of it. Then goes on to tell me if I wont help him with the dog while he is working, then he will ask the dogwalker to handle the appointment.
I know in the scheme of what everyone is facing here, issues with a dog are not real big in comparison. But I am disappointed with how my son is handling the dog. I am disappointed that he is not open to learning anything from this experience. Im disappointed that he is shutting down his emotions and is burying himself in work instead. Apparently, God does not plan to use this dog to open his eyes to anything. He will be over today, and Im going to tell him that I will take the dog for its appointment. I feel like someone should talk to the vet and be aware of the situation, and Im not sure how concerned the dog walker would be, or how much she knows about the treatments.
Im going to try to link in a picture of my sons dog. I took this picture while he waited at the vets office last time. If my link works, I would like you all to meet "Comet" (real name withheld for privacy). Comet is an IV drug user. Doc: Chemotherapy
mrsdragon1's Library | Photobucket
The dog was supposed to get it's treatment on Wednesday, and he called to cancel. He was supposed to then take the dog Thursday and didnt show up. They can't reach him.
My son has been shutting down from the dog these last couple weeks even though the dog is doing well. My husband has been encouraging me to step back from assisting him with the dog so much. To let him arrange the appointments according to his work schedule & face this issue with the dog. I agreed, thinking maybe I was preventing him from stepping up by helping when he asked. But then when I told my husband about the vets office calling me, he simply agreed my son had been too busy at work that week.
The vets office asked to schedule for Monday and I said I would handle it. I talked to my son and did the responsibility speech about caring for a pet. I feel I have to speak up for the dog and its medical needs in this case. I asked if he was going to take the dog, and he said that he would take care of it. Then goes on to tell me if I wont help him with the dog while he is working, then he will ask the dogwalker to handle the appointment.
I know in the scheme of what everyone is facing here, issues with a dog are not real big in comparison. But I am disappointed with how my son is handling the dog. I am disappointed that he is not open to learning anything from this experience. Im disappointed that he is shutting down his emotions and is burying himself in work instead. Apparently, God does not plan to use this dog to open his eyes to anything. He will be over today, and Im going to tell him that I will take the dog for its appointment. I feel like someone should talk to the vet and be aware of the situation, and Im not sure how concerned the dog walker would be, or how much she knows about the treatments.
Im going to try to link in a picture of my sons dog. I took this picture while he waited at the vets office last time. If my link works, I would like you all to meet "Comet" (real name withheld for privacy). Comet is an IV drug user. Doc: Chemotherapy
mrsdragon1's Library | Photobucket
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Hi Comet!!
I love animals and truth be told, i know alot of animals who are a heck of alot nicer than some people i know....
I think we have to make the decisions regarding pets treatment. They can't ask for help!! I think it's nice that you're willing to take the dog in.
I'm really bad about dis associating from situations that are painful for me. I try hard to stay in the moment as working thru it is the best way although it can hurt.
Maybe just try to convey that to your son. Maybe he will think about it.
I love animals and truth be told, i know alot of animals who are a heck of alot nicer than some people i know....
I think we have to make the decisions regarding pets treatment. They can't ask for help!! I think it's nice that you're willing to take the dog in.
I'm really bad about dis associating from situations that are painful for me. I try hard to stay in the moment as working thru it is the best way although it can hurt.
Maybe just try to convey that to your son. Maybe he will think about it.
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What a great photo. Sweet! I'm so sorry Comet has been stricken with serious illness. 
I understand your compassion and concern for this loved pet but also realize you're trying to let your son handle this on his own.
At least you know that your son has support and assistance from the dogwalker and that should help ease your mind.
I understand your compassion and concern for this loved pet but also realize you're trying to let your son handle this on his own.
At least you know that your son has support and assistance from the dogwalker and that should help ease your mind.
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Join Date: May 2012
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Your sons doggie is adorable, but he looks sad to be at the vet.
Im sorry you are feeling disappointed with the situation between your son and the dog. But it is good that he is working again and dedicated to that. Work seemed to be very good for my husband and was a big boost to his self esteem, and all those inner feelings of accomplishement.
Im glad to hear the doggie is doing good in his treatment. Will continue to keep all of you in my prayers.
Im sorry you are feeling disappointed with the situation between your son and the dog. But it is good that he is working again and dedicated to that. Work seemed to be very good for my husband and was a big boost to his self esteem, and all those inner feelings of accomplishement.
Im glad to hear the doggie is doing good in his treatment. Will continue to keep all of you in my prayers.
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Am I right in remembering that your son lost a child to cancer?
If that is the case, I can't personally imagine being able to deal with this situation any better than he seems to be doing.
My cat was recently ill and it was nowhere near as major and it was emotionally draining.
I'd help him in any way possible with the doggy, for his sake as well as for the sake of the poor little puppy.
If that is the case, I can't personally imagine being able to deal with this situation any better than he seems to be doing.
My cat was recently ill and it was nowhere near as major and it was emotionally draining.
I'd help him in any way possible with the doggy, for his sake as well as for the sake of the poor little puppy.
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Location: Florida
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Originally Posted by Hanna 
Am I right in remembering that your son lost a child to cancer?
If that is the case, I can't personally imagine being able to deal with this situation any better than he seems to be doing.
My cat was recently ill and it was nowhere near as major and it was emotionally draining.
I'd help him in any way possible with the doggy, for his sake as well as for the sake of the poor little puppy.
If that is the case, I can't personally imagine being able to deal with this situation any better than he seems to be doing.
My cat was recently ill and it was nowhere near as major and it was emotionally draining.
I'd help him in any way possible with the doggy, for his sake as well as for the sake of the poor little puppy.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
I think it's good you're taking care of the dog, since he's an innocent party in this. I doubt lecturing your son will do any good--in one ear and out the other?
I've had a cat with a similar diagnosis. I was very glad that bf could help with the chemo trips, because of my work schedule. In the end, my cat didn't make it. Although, she did have a good last month. She had been feeling much better on the treatments. It is a hard thing to do, even if you've never had a child die from cancer. It also takes a lot of time...the vets are usually open the same hours as an office, and the pet needs to stay for awhile. Thank goodness your son can afford it, because that's another stressful thing. If the vet isn't near to work, that makes it harder. Bf worked from home, which is how he was able to take my cat.
I've had a cat with a similar diagnosis. I was very glad that bf could help with the chemo trips, because of my work schedule. In the end, my cat didn't make it. Although, she did have a good last month. She had been feeling much better on the treatments. It is a hard thing to do, even if you've never had a child die from cancer. It also takes a lot of time...the vets are usually open the same hours as an office, and the pet needs to stay for awhile. Thank goodness your son can afford it, because that's another stressful thing. If the vet isn't near to work, that makes it harder. Bf worked from home, which is how he was able to take my cat.
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Thank you everyone for your comments and good wishes.
I think I am overreacting a little maybe and feel a little silly now. Yes the situation is so close to what happened with his son, and I know it is hard for him. I am proud that he kept the dog and is doing all this for it. He had only had the dog about two weeks when it became sick. He hadn’t had a chance to bond with the dog. I guess I both worry about the dog and worry about him and the situation. I had talked myself into thinking the dogs illness was some sort of second chance for my son to find understanding and make peace with his demons from the past.
I also have to admit Im attached to the dog and find myself invested in its recovery. He came from a shelter, and who knows what past life was like. At first he would shake and shiver when going to the vet. He went through so many tests, and then surgery. And that part was so sad. Animals don’t understand why they don’t feel good, why they are being treated the way they are, what is happening, what is best for their future health. I almost looked into a dog whisperer. Now he likes to go to the vet for his treatments. He gets treats as soon as he gets there and they give him a big bowl of water. Everyone pets him, and of course there are usually other dogs there and he likes to smell them. He is no longer afraid, who knows maybe the other dogs whispered to him and explained the deal.
My son took the dog today. He told his dad he was taking half the day off (he works for his dad) and he had re-arranged his schedule. My husband cant argue with him because of me ! He did tell me that he trusts the dog walker, and said something like mom, she takes care of dogs for a living. She loves dogs. I know he is being responsible in hiring someone to help him, and so I do feel a little silly after thinking it all through.
It is hard for him to work and take the dog. If he goes from work, he has to change his clothes, get the dog, wait at the office because it is not close to where he works, and he could go home, but not able to do much before you have to go back. Then the dog is sometimes sleepy still from the medicine that is similar to Benadryl, and falls asleep in the car and has to be half carried into the house. Then he has to change his clothes again, and go back to work. I know it is a big interruption to his day. My only excuse for my worries is Im his mom, and now feel like the dogs Grandma.
I think I am overreacting a little maybe and feel a little silly now. Yes the situation is so close to what happened with his son, and I know it is hard for him. I am proud that he kept the dog and is doing all this for it. He had only had the dog about two weeks when it became sick. He hadn’t had a chance to bond with the dog. I guess I both worry about the dog and worry about him and the situation. I had talked myself into thinking the dogs illness was some sort of second chance for my son to find understanding and make peace with his demons from the past.
I also have to admit Im attached to the dog and find myself invested in its recovery. He came from a shelter, and who knows what past life was like. At first he would shake and shiver when going to the vet. He went through so many tests, and then surgery. And that part was so sad. Animals don’t understand why they don’t feel good, why they are being treated the way they are, what is happening, what is best for their future health. I almost looked into a dog whisperer. Now he likes to go to the vet for his treatments. He gets treats as soon as he gets there and they give him a big bowl of water. Everyone pets him, and of course there are usually other dogs there and he likes to smell them. He is no longer afraid, who knows maybe the other dogs whispered to him and explained the deal.
My son took the dog today. He told his dad he was taking half the day off (he works for his dad) and he had re-arranged his schedule. My husband cant argue with him because of me ! He did tell me that he trusts the dog walker, and said something like mom, she takes care of dogs for a living. She loves dogs. I know he is being responsible in hiring someone to help him, and so I do feel a little silly after thinking it all through.
It is hard for him to work and take the dog. If he goes from work, he has to change his clothes, get the dog, wait at the office because it is not close to where he works, and he could go home, but not able to do much before you have to go back. Then the dog is sometimes sleepy still from the medicine that is similar to Benadryl, and falls asleep in the car and has to be half carried into the house. Then he has to change his clothes again, and go back to work. I know it is a big interruption to his day. My only excuse for my worries is Im his mom, and now feel like the dogs Grandma.
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Originally Posted by bluebelle
I think it's good you're taking care of the dog, since he's an innocent party in this. I doubt lecturing your son will do any good--in one ear and out the other?
I've had a cat with a similar diagnosis. I was very glad that bf could help with the chemo trips, because of my work schedule. In the end, my cat didn't make it. Although, she did have a good last month. She had been feeling much better on the treatments. It is a hard thing to do, even if you've never had a child die from cancer. It also takes a lot of time...the vets are usually open the same hours as an office, and the pet needs to stay for awhile. Thank goodness your son can afford it, because that's another stressful thing. If the vet isn't near to work, that makes it harder. Bf worked from home, which is how he was able to take my cat.
I've had a cat with a similar diagnosis. I was very glad that bf could help with the chemo trips, because of my work schedule. In the end, my cat didn't make it. Although, she did have a good last month. She had been feeling much better on the treatments. It is a hard thing to do, even if you've never had a child die from cancer. It also takes a lot of time...the vets are usually open the same hours as an office, and the pet needs to stay for awhile. Thank goodness your son can afford it, because that's another stressful thing. If the vet isn't near to work, that makes it harder. Bf worked from home, which is how he was able to take my cat.
All those memories are going to be treasured, even the ones where you and your boyfriend worked together to care for the cat, and take it in for treatment, and even the grieving process if you were able to offer comfort to one another. I know these are all valuable experiences to us as people. I think it deepens and enriches our lives when we can care so much for one of Gods Creatures. And your kitty will be waiting on the Rainbow Bridge, I believe this has to be true. Thank you very much for your post. Its made me teary thinking about your experience, but in a hopeful way.
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Thank you. It has been a couple of years now, but we still miss her. It was sad because she was still relatively young. The days that she gained from the chemo were good days. We took her outside and she soaked up the sun. She was very hungry from the Prednisone, and loved eating treats. We spent extra time with her, which was good for all of us. We had no regrets on the treatment, because she felt much better on it. I also believe that she is waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for us.
I understand that you feel like the Doug's grandma. It is good the dog and your son have you for support. It sounds like things might not have happened as you expected, but God has a plan. Take care.
I understand that you feel like the Doug's grandma. It is good the dog and your son have you for support. It sounds like things might not have happened as you expected, but God has a plan. Take care.
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You don't need any excuse and definitely don't need to feel silly. You have been through the mill. Nothing we go through with respect to having loved ones recovering from addiction is intuitive. It's a learning process then a matter of continually practicing what we learned and continuing to learn more.
It sounds like your son is doing pretty well, has thought things through and found good help in the dog walker. Maybe a good time to tell him something like "You know, I thought about what you said and realize I was just being a worry wart. Let me know how I can help." That kind of discussion can be very healing for everyone after what you've both been through.
I also want to say I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandchild, Mrs. Dragon. I know it must have been painful to go through that and also watch your own child suffer so much.
Peace,
Hanna
It sounds like your son is doing pretty well, has thought things through and found good help in the dog walker. Maybe a good time to tell him something like "You know, I thought about what you said and realize I was just being a worry wart. Let me know how I can help." That kind of discussion can be very healing for everyone after what you've both been through.
I also want to say I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandchild, Mrs. Dragon. I know it must have been painful to go through that and also watch your own child suffer so much.
Peace,
Hanna
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Originally Posted by Hanna
It sounds like your son is doing pretty well, has thought things through and found good help in the dog walker. Maybe a good time to tell him something like "You know, I thought about what you said and realize I was just being a worry wart. Let me know how I can help." That kind of discussion can be very healing for everyone after what you've both been through.
Peace,
Hanna
As for how he is doing in recovery, I dont know. We have nothing to go on except his behavior and attitude. He seems ok. But I know that he could hide it until it slips out of control again. I just pray, and try to always let him know I am here if he needs anything. He is still seeing a doctor to help with the addiction and grief issues. He started in late November. I am grateful for that decision. When the dog was going thorugh tests and surgery, his girlfriend told me she thought he was using again, but then said she didnt know for sure. I cant make much of that and had to let it go.
Peace coming your way also Hanna. Thank You.
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Originally Posted by MrsDragon
He also knows i love animals, and in his way of being funny, offered for the dog to move in, take over one of the spare bedrooms and I could provide it with round the clock care, breakfast in bed, supervise his daily exercise regime, grooming, snacks in front of the tv where he would be provided with dvds of squirrels, rabbits, and fire hydrants, and then off to bed where I could tuck him in and read the story of well he meant Watership Down about rabbits... but he forgot the name of the book. BUT it was all done in fun, and my husband chimed in also with his thoughts. They both had a good laugh at my expense. I feel very lucky that we have always had a close relationship.
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It sounds like Comet is in very good hands and agree that you need not feel silly!
My dog is also a rescue and he has been such a great addition to the family; methinks his presence and antics being rather therapeutic for the husband, son, and me.
Thanks much for sharing. Hugs to Comet and all.
My dog is also a rescue and he has been such a great addition to the family; methinks his presence and antics being rather therapeutic for the husband, son, and me.
Thanks much for sharing. Hugs to Comet and all.
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