Valentine's Day.......
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by dollydo 
Taking my "boys" to the groomer, and, my brother is taking me out for an early dinner, we made our plans on Sunday and didn't even realize it was Valentines Day, Duh!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Somewhere in CT
Posts: 6
Hello all,
I'm new here. I have decided since my fiance is not around that I am going to go ahead and look for the charm bracelet that he was supposed to buy me. If I find the one I want I am going to buy it for myself.
Happy V-Day!!
I'm new here. I have decided since my fiance is not around that I am going to go ahead and look for the charm bracelet that he was supposed to buy me. If I find the one I want I am going to buy it for myself.
Happy V-Day!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
I made chocolate chip lemon scones for me and my son. I knitted him a little gnome and made him a heart wand as a morning surprise valentine gift. We will eat breakfast together and just chat. I put a special chocolate in his lunch box with a valentine from me! I even sewed a heart on his shirt, and made him and I a heart necklace. Later, I got some cookies and passion tea for my students. Finally for dinner, we are going to have a nice dinner with starberry shortcake w/ chocolate sauce. I want to take some time and discuss with him love and who he loves and why we take a moment to remember it.
I love this holiday! It is just too much fun!
I love this holiday! It is just too much fun!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sunshine, Sea Breeze & Palm Trees
Posts: 282
Zoso, I wish people didnt put so much emphasis about people needing to be with someone or friends making comments like "you'll find someone nice eventually" when you're single and fine with it.
There is something incredibly powerful about being single, aware, content, and grateful for what you have at the moment. Why must a person be with someone to be considered as complete or happy? It's simply not true. Unlike others, I dont believe there is a soul mate for everyone.
At the end of the day, we must travel our own journey. Nobody can go through the joy, pain, sadness, that life has for us but ourselves. Thus we might as well be ok with the journey with or without a companion.
I'm all for celebrating Valentine's Day as a day to appreciate and share love on a bigger picture. But if it's limited on a romantic scale, then screw it.
There is something incredibly powerful about being single, aware, content, and grateful for what you have at the moment. Why must a person be with someone to be considered as complete or happy? It's simply not true. Unlike others, I dont believe there is a soul mate for everyone.
At the end of the day, we must travel our own journey. Nobody can go through the joy, pain, sadness, that life has for us but ourselves. Thus we might as well be ok with the journey with or without a companion.
I'm all for celebrating Valentine's Day as a day to appreciate and share love on a bigger picture. But if it's limited on a romantic scale, then screw it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Originally Posted by ivegotsunshine
Tomorrow I will be sending every ounce of love to my dad and the team of surgeons who will be performing open heart surgery on him.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by oooopps
Zoso, I wish people didnt put so much emphasis about people needing to be with someone or friends making comments like "you'll find someone nice eventually" when you're single and fine with it.
There is something incredibly powerful about being single, aware, content, and grateful for what you have at the moment. Why must a person be with someone to be considered as complete or happy? It's simply not true. Unlike others, I dont believe there is a soul mate for everyone.
At the end of the day, we must travel our own journey. Nobody can go through the joy, pain, sadness, that life has for us but ourselves. Thus we might as well be ok with the journey with or without a companion.
I'm all for celebrating Valentine's Day as a day to appreciate and share love on a bigger picture. But if it's limited on a romantic scale, then screw it.
There is something incredibly powerful about being single, aware, content, and grateful for what you have at the moment. Why must a person be with someone to be considered as complete or happy? It's simply not true. Unlike others, I dont believe there is a soul mate for everyone.
At the end of the day, we must travel our own journey. Nobody can go through the joy, pain, sadness, that life has for us but ourselves. Thus we might as well be ok with the journey with or without a companion.
I'm all for celebrating Valentine's Day as a day to appreciate and share love on a bigger picture. But if it's limited on a romantic scale, then screw it.
My advisor is more than an advisor. He's my consigliere, one of my closest confidants. We go back a long ways. And I get where he comes from because he's old fashioned in that regard. So, I don't think he was being pushy, per se. He was being him because he loves me.
Best,
ZoSo
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 183
Originally Posted by zoso77
My academic advisor has been all over my a$$ about finding a nice girl and settling down. He said something offhanded like the good book says it's good to be with someone.
I told him the good book doesn't know my addict ex girlfriend. And that shut up him pretty quickly...
God bless him, though, he means well.
Valentine's Day is just another day. Get up, go to class, go to work, come home, eat, play guitar, and relax.
ZoSo
I told him the good book doesn't know my addict ex girlfriend. And that shut up him pretty quickly...
God bless him, though, he means well.
Valentine's Day is just another day. Get up, go to class, go to work, come home, eat, play guitar, and relax.
ZoSo
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 183
I have plans with my boyfriend tonight. He is close to two weeks clean now, and says he is starting to feel better. He did his best to shine attention on me at work today and had balloons and flowers delivered. Everyone knows him, and they are all like he is so sweet, which he truly is. But they don’t know all of what we have been through, and what he struggles with. Kinda funny.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 43
You know the Talking Heads song, "Once in a Lifetime"? Same as it ever was. But I CAN tell you that as years have gone by I know I've changed. I'm still not "free" of it all but I know my reaction has changed. My fiance and I called off our engagement last summer, but in the fall, when he was seeming and looking healthy and pursuing his program, we started dating (cautiously). All along I knew I could never fully commit, but decided to be his friend, maybe more, but not "engaged."
We actually went several months without arguing, both of us trying harder, making efforts, but it was good. But the last few weeks, same crap again. I know I've changed because I have no interest in asking for a drug test -- been there, done that. I have learned that the visceral nagging I feel is usually spot on. So I just back off, live my life, and I'm actually happier until his super-salesman charm and manipulations kick in.
But wait... it's Valentine's Day. Yeah, as in recent weeks, he is back to the suggesting plans and then saying they were never set in stone. This week he cancelled last minute on lunch Tuesday, renegged on coming over Weds evening, and then said he would DEFINITELY be here for lunch onThursday -- it's VALENTINE's DAY! I said probably not, figuring he'd bail and I have things to do. Plus, this would make three years of his going MIA on VD. Two years ago I took his two kids out to dinner while he slept it off on the couch. Anyway, I said no thanks, but he insisted he come out in the morning and take me to lunch.
An hour after the appointed time, he called to say he had "car trouble." I almost burst out laughing. Wait... I think I did laugh. He said he was so sorry. Rain check? It was "undriveable," and he had to take it to a special repair shop at 1pm. So sorry.
Later (OK, so I'm not fully recovered...), when he texted me again how sorry he was, I said, let's see the receipt for the repair. He texted, "no charge until they get the part in." "How are you driving the car then?" "They removed the part and I can still drive it," he texted. I'll spare you the rest. Even my son asked, "WHY do you even ASK HIM?!" He knows.
Anyhoo, I'm here, home alone, on VD. It's ok. The last few years he even managed to send roses despite going MIA, but this year I've got nothing. Nothing, except a glass of cabernet and my laptop. But I'm GOOD. I'm not complaining, And in a way, thankful he gave me more reason to keep detaching. He gives me no shortage of reasons to go NC.
Obviously I have a LOT more work to do, but for anyone whose hopes were dashed in some way, I'm just saying "hey." I'm not as crushed as I've been the last couple years -- just a little disappointed that I set myself up again. But being Valentine's Day, i'll give myself a break. (And hoping to attend the online meeting at 9 ;o) )
We actually went several months without arguing, both of us trying harder, making efforts, but it was good. But the last few weeks, same crap again. I know I've changed because I have no interest in asking for a drug test -- been there, done that. I have learned that the visceral nagging I feel is usually spot on. So I just back off, live my life, and I'm actually happier until his super-salesman charm and manipulations kick in.
But wait... it's Valentine's Day. Yeah, as in recent weeks, he is back to the suggesting plans and then saying they were never set in stone. This week he cancelled last minute on lunch Tuesday, renegged on coming over Weds evening, and then said he would DEFINITELY be here for lunch onThursday -- it's VALENTINE's DAY! I said probably not, figuring he'd bail and I have things to do. Plus, this would make three years of his going MIA on VD. Two years ago I took his two kids out to dinner while he slept it off on the couch. Anyway, I said no thanks, but he insisted he come out in the morning and take me to lunch.
An hour after the appointed time, he called to say he had "car trouble." I almost burst out laughing. Wait... I think I did laugh. He said he was so sorry. Rain check? It was "undriveable," and he had to take it to a special repair shop at 1pm. So sorry.
Later (OK, so I'm not fully recovered...), when he texted me again how sorry he was, I said, let's see the receipt for the repair. He texted, "no charge until they get the part in." "How are you driving the car then?" "They removed the part and I can still drive it," he texted. I'll spare you the rest. Even my son asked, "WHY do you even ASK HIM?!" He knows.
Anyhoo, I'm here, home alone, on VD. It's ok. The last few years he even managed to send roses despite going MIA, but this year I've got nothing. Nothing, except a glass of cabernet and my laptop. But I'm GOOD. I'm not complaining, And in a way, thankful he gave me more reason to keep detaching. He gives me no shortage of reasons to go NC.
Obviously I have a LOT more work to do, but for anyone whose hopes were dashed in some way, I'm just saying "hey." I'm not as crushed as I've been the last couple years -- just a little disappointed that I set myself up again. But being Valentine's Day, i'll give myself a break. (And hoping to attend the online meeting at 9 ;o) )
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by dasiydoc
I hope that you find healing after what happened with your ex Zoso. Im new here still, and havent read up on all the regular posters, but obviously she hurt you very deeply. I think it is wise of you not to jump back into dating before you are emotionally ready. Truly it might help you move forward, but it wouldn’t be fair to the person you got involved with. Ive learned a lot from reading your posts, so thanks for sharing here.
She did hurt me, but the thing that helped me bounce back really, really quick was knowing that she is both Borderline and an addict. So what she did wasn't really about me. It was all about her lashing out, and then being "satisfied" with her work. So, f**k her.
I just hope that when people come here, reeling over a breakup with an addict, they learn from this site, its members and the posts that addicts are sick, sick people that behave in sick, sick ways. And there's no use of trying to figure out the hows or whys. Like the sky is blue or grass is green, it is what it is. And instead of ruminating about what I "lost", I'm just incredibly thankful for what I do have and the people in my life.
Best,
ZoSo
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